Exploring the Lifestyle

The Creepy Dude

2012-02-05T23:09:00.002-05:00

Way back when we used to swing (which seems like decades ago, but really is only maybe a year ago), Kathleen and I would often visit a local swinger's party very close to our home. We always had a great time at these parties, socializing with other couples, dancing, flirting, fucking, etc.. But since Kathleen lost her mojo, we stopped going to those parties, and it had been roughly a year since we went to one.

But last weekend, Kathleen asked me what I wanted to do on our Saturday night, and I mentioned this party as an option. And to my surprise, she said she would like to go. So we went, and we had the best time chatting with other couples, flirting, dancing, etc.. But we didn't hook up with anyone. Eventually, the night ended with Kathleen giving me an awesome blowjob in one of the private rooms at the party.

This Friday, I asked the usual question, and Kathleen surprised me once again when she agreed to go to this party a second week in a row. This time, we met her friend "Ron" from work. It's been awhile since I've mentioned Ron, so just to jog your memory, he's a guy Kathleen works with, who discovered that she is in the lifestyle. Since that discovery they hooked up three times, but the last time was roughly two years ago. I was anxious to meet Ron simply because I'd never met him before. I wanted to see for myself what Kathleen found to be so irresistible. And I was also curious to see if any spark remained between the two of them.

When he arrived, he looked pretty much as I expected: an older, bald guy, with a dry sense of humor. His partner for the night was a stunning 27-year-old girl from Columbia with incredibly sexy eyes, an amazing smile and a kick-ass body. Ron explained several times that she is not his girlfriend -- she is merely a playmate who likes to fuck him constantly. Poor guy.

Needless to say I was instantly attracted to his girlfriend. As the night wore on, I slowly tested the waters to see if it was warm. Although we shared a few hot dances, I was getting the definite vibe that she had no interest in me whatsoever. So to Kathleen's great disappointment I backed off.

By the time the clock struck 1:00am, all of the private rooms were filled with happy couples doing what makes people happiest. It was obvious to me that we wouldn't be having any sex unless it was with each other. So I asked Kathleen if she'd join me in one of the public rooms. It was the only room available, and I figured it might be hot to have others watch us have sex.

We undressed and started making out. Kathleen was lying on her back, blowing me while I fingered her, and out of the corner of my eye I could see someone had entered the darkened room. From all my experience with Danielle and her husband, I've grown accustomed to having others watch, so I simply continued doing what I was doing. Kathleen's eyes were closed, as she was fully enjoying the moment.

After awhile, I could sense that another person or two were watching. The guy who had been standing at the door earlier had now moved into the room, and was standing beside our bed, jerking off. It was a little creepy, but I just continued to pretend he wasn't there. As I continued fingering Kathleen, however, this guy slowly reached over and began rubbing her legs. When I moved my hand away from Kathleen's pussy, he replaced it with his, and that's when I finally looked at him and said, "Hold on."

"Are you okay with this?," I asked Kathleen. And for the first time, she opened her eyes and looked around the room. "Uh...no," she said, with an uncomfortable laugh. We then dressed, and left the room.

While it would have been hot if Kathleen had replied "yes", I completely understand why she answered no. One of the golden swinger rules is that you never touch a person without asking permission first, and this creepy dude broke that rule. If he had asked permission, maybe the outcome would have changed. But probably not.

We aren't nearly in the same place we were a year ago, but I'm encouraged that we are at least moving in the right direction. Baby steps, right?

It was a very good weekend

2012-01-22T22:07:00.000-05:00

It's been a long time since I had anything worth writing about on this blog, so I definitely want to record this for posterity. This was an epic weekend. On Friday night, Kathleen and I went out to dinner. This wasn't all that unusual, as that has become our normal routine. But after dinner, we went to a bar and listened to a band play for awhile, and it was really great to be out and about. I am stuck at home all week long, thanks to my job, and it's such a nice treat to be outside of the house and around other adult humans. The band was pretty good, and I think Kathleen enjoyed listening to them, too. But eventually (relatively early in the night), we left to head back home and into bed. Kathleen tucked herself in, and our night ended before 10:30.

It was fun, though, and I was really appreciative that she was such a good sport about going out for the night. I know she gets really tired with her job, and I know she'd rather be in bed at 8:00 every night. But the following night, I got a text from our old friend Donna, letting us know that they had no plans for the night. I checked with Kathleen, and she said she'd like to get together, so I set up a date.

Now...sometimes, when we get together with Tom & Donna, we simply have dinner and play some board games, and that is the end of the night. Back when we used to swing, our nights would normally end with the four of us having sex -- either in the same room or different rooms. Because Kathleen had been so opposed to swinging for so long, I assumed that this evening would consist of nothing but "vanilla" fun.

But after we finished eating, and after several hours of conversation, Tom whispered something in Kathleen's ear, and the two of them immediately disappeared upstairs. I had NO idea what to do at this point. I didn't know if I should rescue Kathleen or simply enjoy myself. But I gave Kathleen a look as she headed upstairs, and she looked okay. So I just went with it.

Donna eventually emerged from the bathroom, and immediately began kissing me. We made out in the kitchen for awhile before taking it to the living room. Kathleen and Tom were upstairs at the time, and normally we would have joined them. But Donna asked me if it was okay if we just stayed downstairs, and I happily agreed. Although I LOVE watching Kathleen work her magic, it is just way too distracting.

Donna and I moved to the couch, and after making out for awhile, I realized that this would be yet another one of those times when I would have trouble getting aroused. I honestly don't understand why or how this happens, but I've come to accept it as part of the "swinger's package."

So...I told Donna I would take care of her first -- which I did. After that, she tried to take care of me, but I just wasn't responding. Oddly enough, the only thing that worked for me was when I imagined that we were alone, and no one else was in the house. As soon as I did that, I got instantly aroused, and was able to enjoy myself.

We enjoyed each other for awhile, and then she took care of me.

Immediately after that, Kathleen headed downstairs, and we left. On the way home, I asked for details, and evidently there weren't many. Kathleen used her hand on Tom for awhile, and according to her she used her mouth only briefly, and he didn't get hard. So she called it a night.

If this is true, then it means we probably won't be seeing Donna and Tom any time soon. But still, it was a fun night, and it reminded me of what we once had.

Ho-hum

2012-01-08T01:28:00.001-05:00

Tonight, I put on a sweat shirt, and Kathleen and I headed out at around 7:30. We went to a restaurant and ordered an appetizer and a couple of drinks. Later, we ordered a refill. After paying our $50 bill for some tortilla chips and drinks, we went to the grocery store. We bought some groceries for the family: bread, meat, chips, ice cream, soda, milk, etc..

We then went home and unpacked all the groceries. Kathleen then sat in a chair while I sat on the other side of the room. A football game was on the TV, but neither of us really cared, nor paid attention to it. After about 30 minutes, I looked over, and Kathleen's eyes were closed. About half an hour later, she woke up and announced that she was going to bed.

This was a Saturday night, at around 9:00pm.

This is our life now.

It is amazing to me how quickly our lives have changed. A year ago, Kathleen and I had tons of friends. We went out every single weekend and danced and laughed and had a great time. We actually had a life outside of our home.

Six months ago, we still socialized, but we "took turns." I went out most nights, and Kathleen went out other nights.

Today, we have ZERO social life. We stay indoors most nights. And when we do venture out, it is purely one-on-one -- just me and Kathleen. We have no friends, we don't make an effort to look good or dress well, and there are zero expectations that our night will end with anyone (even the two of us) having sex. In other words, we've become a typical married couple.

I don't understand why Kathleen prefers this lifestyle, and I never will. I've told her that I miss our old life, when we actually had friends and went out on the weekends, and actually talked and interacted with other people. But she doesn't seem to miss that life at all. She's perfectly content to stay home every weekend and crash on the couch at 8:00 on a Saturday night.

A year ago, Kathleen was so much fun to be with. She had an infectious thirst for life and fun, and it was so easy to get caught up in her world. Our sex life was incredible. And she displayed such affection for me that she made me feel like I was the most important person in her life. She is such a different person today, I barely recognize her.

Kathleen has always claimed that her libido goes up and down, and she's claimed that she is just in a "down" phase right now. This puts our "swinging" status on indefinite hold. I haven't seen Danielle for months (as she is experiencing her own "down" phase), and I'm guessing that I'll never see her again. Kathleen continues to car-pool into work with Oscar, and she claims she hasn't had any sexual contact with him in months. That is -- until recently.

Last week, I took the kids out of town, leaving Kathleen with the house all to herself. Before we left, I asked Kathleen if she had told Oscar that she'd be home alone for a week. I wanted to see what her reaction was. I was expecting her to scoff and give me her usual dismissive wave of the hand whenever I ask about Oscar. But she surprised me by saying that she had told him, and she seemed to indicated that he might actually stop by the house sometime.

I left with the kids and stayed in constant contact with Kathleen. I called her every day, and texted her several times a day. She never mentioned anything about Oscar, so I never asked. I just assumed he didn't stop by. But when I returned home, Kathleen told me he did stop by one morning before work. They evidently made it up to our bedroom and fooled around. But before they had even gotten started, Oscar finished. He was left embarrassed, and Kathleen was left unfulfilled. Again.

I've never understood their relationship at all. There is a 17-year difference between the two of them, which just seems strange to me. According to Kathleen, she has never had an orgasm with him, except for the time they spent the night together and she brought her vibrator with her. The vast majority of the time, it is all about him. Kathleen blows him to completion, and she gets nothing out of it except for maybe a tit squeeze or suck.

So why does she continue to see him? And why is it that this relationship is the one that ended all our fun? I just don't get it. Never have, and never will.

Thoughts from Hedo

2011-11-22T10:01:00.000-05:00

Prior to heading to Jamaica, I wrote on this page that my fantasy was that this trip would rekindle Kathleen's lost mojo and launch us back into the fun and fantastic world of swinging. I knew this was highly unlikely, but it was a little sliver of hope that I tucked into the back of my brain.

On our second day at the resort, I playfully told Kathleen that I had only one goal for her during the week: suck a dick. That's it: just suck a dick; any dick. Later that evening, we were standing in the pool, chatting with a group of people. I excused myself to use the men's room, and when I returned, Kathleen wasn't at the bar where I'd left her. I looked around the pool, and immediately saw some red hair on the other side of the pool, bobbing up and down between the legs of an older guy (of course she chose an older guy!) sitting at the edge of the pool. I was incredibly excited by this, and quietly sat in the dark on the opposite side of the pool, trying my best to hide in the shadows.

This went on for a few minutes, until the two of them wrapped it up, and I made my way back to the bar with a raging hard-on. I gave Kathleen a hug, and she looked at me with a smile and said, "Are we good now?" Yes, honey, you get a gold star.

Later in the week, we were standing around with a group of friends, and one of them mentioned that his dick just wasn't working that night. So Kathleen being Kathleen, of course she had to verify that for herself. She dropped to her knees -- in the middle of a public place with tons of people standing around -- and started to blow him. After a few minutes, she got up and said, "Yep, it's broken." We all busted out laughing, and it became a running joke for the rest of the week.

Of course, another guy in our group (who clearly had a huge crush on Kathleen) then stated that he has never been able to cum from a blowjob. So, of course, Kathleen had to test that theory as well. And after a few minutes, she got up from her knees and verified that he was right.

She also sucked the cock of that huge Hulk-like husband during that blackout moment I had, so that's four strange cocks she sucked in a five-day span. While she seemed to really enjoy the flirting and touching and cock-sucking, I don't think it changed anything about her outlook on the lifestyle. She told me at several times during our vacation that she doesn't want to fuck anyone else but me, and doesn't even want anyone else touching her below the waist.

Our swinging style has evolved a half-dozen times over the past two years, and we're now apparently at another stage of that evolution where I play with others while Kathleen doesn't. Needless to say, it's tough to find a match with that particular configuration. Kathleen's relationship with Oscar is now almost purely platonic (and I say "almost" only because I think they probably kiss or grope each other every once in awhile.) And my relationship with Danielle is almost non-existent. We haven't seen each other nearly two months, and she has told me her libido is at an all-time low.

So, in a nutshell, our trip to Hedo wasn't very productive in terms of sparking any new feelings or ambitions. But it was a helluva lot of fun! And if we are now the type of couple that only swings once a year on vacation, I guess I can live with that.

"Who are you here with?"

2011-11-20T23:08:00.000-05:00

I slept on the couch the night before heading to Hedo, and Kathleen spent the night on a fold-out futon. Kathleen probably slept for four hours or so, but if I got two hours of sleep that night it would surprise me. We awoke at 3:00am, showered, dressed, packed and headed out to the airport at around 4:00am. We didn't arrive at Hedo until 7:00pm -- 16 hours after waking.

Needless to say, it was a long day. We ate a little dinner, and watched some entertainment. And by 11:00, Kathleen announced that she was done for the night. But I was on vacation, I was finally in Hedo after traveling more than half a day, and I wanted to experience everything the resort had to offer. My vacation philosophy is that I can always sleep when I get home. And when I'm at a resort like Desire or Hedo, I get SO wired, I just can't sleep. There is too much going on, too many potential adventures to be had. I just can't bring myself to sleep through it all.

Making matters worse, Kathleen and I hadn't had sex for a week leading up to our vacation. So I was beside myself with horniness. Needless to say, I couldn't sleep. I lay next to Kathleen for awhile in bed, staring at the ceiling in the dark. But it irritated me that she was more interested in sleep than enjoying our vacation -- or, more importantly, me. So after several minutes of seething in silence, I got up, grabbed my towel card, and headed to the hot tub.

At that point, I was simply hoping to soak in some hot water, watch the moon and stars, and hopefully calm myself enough to get to sleep. Even though I hadn't slept in nearly 48 hours, I wasn't tired at all, and desperately wanted to experience as much as the resort had to offer. Prior to leaving for Hedo, I had read that the hot tub can get "crazy" after midnight, with plenty of couples having sex at the side of the hot tub, etc.. So I was hoping to see a little "live porn" while I sat and relaxed.

When I got to the hot tub, I was disappointed to see only a few people camped out. I chose a corner of the hot tub away from all the others, sat back and stared at the awesome Jamaican night sky. To my left, a couple sat together, enjoying each other's company, kissing and caressing. To my right sat a young guy with a shaved head, sitting by himself just as I was. A few minutes later, a woman sauntered into the hot tub by herself, and sat about 10 feet away from the single guy. She said something about the hot tub being not so hot, and he replied that it's gotten hotter since she arrived. A cheesy line, but it seemed to work. Within the next few minutes, they were sitting very close to each other. And a few minutes later, they were making out.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the hot tub, the loving couple was joined by a third guy. At first, it seemed like the third guy had only a friendly acquaintance with the couple. But after a few minutes, both guys began making out with the woman and pulling her to the side of the hot tub to give her some attention.

After awhile, I began to feel like a pervert just watching the action unfold, so I stepped out, dried off and headed back to our room. But after lying on our bed, staring at the ceiling for several minutes, I realized I still wasn't tired. So I headed out once again to the hot tub. I was intrigued to know what happened to both the couple and threesome I had witnessed earlier, but by the time I arrived again, they were both gone. In only a few minutes, they had been replaced by dozens of other people. Suddenly, at around 1:00am, the hot tub was filled with people.

I claimed a spot in the least-crowded part of the hot tub, sat back, and looked up at the stars and moon. Directly opposite, a couple were making out, hot and heavy. I could only see them from the waist up, but the wife had a pretty face and enormous tits that looked like they would be fun to play with. She eventually turned around to face me, sitting on her husband's lap while he continued to kiss her neck and fondle her tits. As he did so, she looked at me with the most seductive smile.

At Desire, there is a term for single guys who sit in the hot tub at night and stare at all the action around them: "Wallies." I didn't want to be a Wally, so I tried not to look at the couple across from me -- nor at any other couple -- for more than a few seconds. When I turned my head back toward the couple across from me, the woman was still looking directly at me and smiling. So I smiled back, briefly, and then diverted my glance again.

Finally, after the third time I looked in that direction, and discovered she was still looking directly at me, she whispered something in her husband's ear and then waded toward me.

"I'm sorry, I can't help but ask. Who are you here with?," she said.

"I'm not a Wally, I swear!", I replied. She smiled. "I'm actually here with my wife. It's our first night here. She was tired, so she went to sleep. I can't sleep, so here I am."

"Do you mind if I kiss you?"

"Umm...no, not at all."

She leaned in and we began making out. I let my hands roam to her ass, which was ample, but firm. And she eventually let her hand roam to my dick, which was completely rigid.

"It's too bad you're here with your wife, or I'd take you back to my room," she said.

"My wife would actually appreciate that," I said. "We swing separately. She'd feel less guilty about crashing early tonight if she knew I had a good time with someone else."

That was all this woman needed to hear.

"Would you like to come back to my room and share me with my husband?"

Well....let me think about that....OKAY!

The four of us then went to their room. She laid on the bed, and I settled down on top of her, kissing her lips, neck and tits. I slowly worked my way down her belly to her pussy, and spent a good deal of time trying to get her off with my tongue. While I did so, I noticed her husband had moved in, sticking his dick in her mouth.

I continued to work my way around her pussy with my tongue and fingers, and eventually tried using my "squirting" technique, which she seemed to enjoy a great deal. After awhile, I switched placed with her husband, and stuck my dick in her mouth while he went down on her.

Eventually, we positioned her so that she was on all fours. I knelt in front of her and fucked her mouth while hubby fucked her from behind. She seemed to be REALLY enjoying it, and even though I felt like I was about to explode, I tried my best not to end the enjoyment so quickly.

After what seemed to be a long time, she eventually said, "Okay, switch." So her husband and I complied. On the way, he handed me a condom, and I put it on. As I did, it occurred to me that it was the first time in eight months that I had worn one -- an amazing realization for a "swinger." At this point, I was so worked up from the blowjob I'd just received that I couldn't wait to get inside her. And as soon as I did, I couldn't wait to pound her as hard as I could. Unfortunately, after less than a minute of fucking, I was ready to explode.

I withdrew, hoping to stem the urge. But it was too late. I was going to cum -- and cum hard. So I said, "I'm sorry -- I have to cum." I began pounding her hard, and within seconds, I was coming...and coming...and coming. A week's worth of pent-up frustration unloaded into that poor condom.

I was absolutely spent at that point. But she wasn't done with me yet. Her husband moved behind her to finish the job, and she begged me to sit in front of her, so she could suck my cock again. I told her I had nothing left, and her answer was, "I don't care."

So I straddled her, allowing her to take me in her mouth while her husband fucked her from behind. After awhile, she begged him to fuck her in the ass. Meanwhile, she was doing a good job of sucking me. In fact, I was already starting to come back to life. She began licking my balls, and I stroked myself to help her out. She then came with such intensity, I was in awe. Then, she came again. And again.

At this point, I had been completely drained, and she had several very intense orgasms. So I figured the night was done for those two. But the husband was still sporting a major league hard-on, and he had big intentions of using it for something. So I told them I would let them be alone, gathered my stuff, gave her a final kiss and him a final hand shake, and headed out. As I did, he was mounting her once again from behind.

By the time I got back to our room, it was about 2:30am. Kathleen woke up as I entered the room, and she asked where I had been. I told her, and we proceeded to have a very productive conversation. Actually, it was mostly me talking. I didn't realize it, but I had a lot of stuff I needed to say. And once I got all of that off my chest, I instantly felt better. I didn't even need Kathleen to respond -- I just needed her to hear it. And once that was done, I felt like a giant weight was lifted off my chest. And that allowed us to have one of the best vacations we've ever had together.

"Would you mind if I gave your husband a blowjob?"

2011-11-20T22:05:00.000-05:00

Kathleen and I have just returned from our 5-day vacation at Hedonism II. We had heard so many conflicting reports about Hedo from our group of friends over the past couple of years, and we decided to check it out for ourselves. Although the resort itself (the accommodations, the food, the service, the drinks, etc.) was a huge disappointment, we had a tremendous time. It's all about the people you meet, and we met some outstanding people during our short stay.

We came home with several good stories to tell, and without a doubt the best one is the story I'm about to tell. On our third night at the resort, we were standing in the pool, drinking and socializing -- just as we did every day. The sun peaked below the horizon, and we began thinking about heading back to our room. But just then, a very attractive blonde woman approached Kathleen and told her she liked the color of her hair. She nicknamed Kathleen "Ginger" (after the Gilligan's Island character), and eventually began chatting with the two of us.

During the course of chatting, we found out this woman and her husband had just been married that week, and were on their honeymoon at Hedo. Her husband was an enormous guy who stood at least 6'4" tall and 250+ pounds, with bulging muscles. And as if to prove that Mother Nature is not fair, he was hung like a horse.

At some point during our conversation, this woman whispered into Kathleen's ear, "Would you mind if I give your husband a blowjob?" Of course, Kathleen replied, "no problem!"

The woman then instructed me to hop up onto the side of the pool, and proceeded to bury her head in my lap. She then waved Kathleen over playfully, and said, "Let's both blow him at the same time!"

And they did.

After awhile, Kathleen must have sensed that this newleywed's husband felt left out, because at some point, she motioned him over to sit next to me, and began blowing him as well.

This sounds like a story straight out of Penthouse Forum, right? Every man's ultimate fantasy. Certainly, it was the highlight of my sexual experience.

But here's the kicker: I didn't remember it.

I normally don't drink vodka, but that was the only alcohol I could tolerate at this resort. Unfortunately, because I wasn't used to drinking vodka, I had no idea when I had too much. I only recognized that I was drunk well after the fact. In this case, I didn't realize I was drunk until after I awoke in our bed, several hours after passing out.

When I became conscious, Kathleen told me what had happened in the pool. I had no recollection of that whatsoever. In fact, I thought she was lying about the whole thing, just to tease me. But I did have a foggy memory of her sucking a huge cock -- something she had left out of the story. To me, it seemed like a dream. I couldn't remember any of it, except for Kathleen sucking that big cock.

It was the ultimate "born loser" story of the century. A guy gets a blowjob from his wife and another woman and doesn't remember it.

I was humiliated. So, of course, Kathleen told this story to anyone and everyone she met for the rest of the week. She thought it was hilarious. And I suppose I would, too, if it hadn't happened to me!

I only asked Kathleen for one favor: if we ever run into that woman again, please don't tell her I forgot about that. And, of course, the very first time we ran into that woman again, Kathleen ran up to her, giggling hilariously, to tell her all about it.

But here is the punchline. After talking to her for awhile, Kathleen waved me over. I (re-)introduced myself, and the woman told me how sorry she was that I didn't remember. She then asked, "So, who was the other woman?" Kathleen just looked at her strangely. Then she said, "Umm...it was you." The look on the woman's face was priceless. She had no memory of doing that whatsoever! Better yet, her husband was looking at her as though he, too, couldn't believe she didn't remember it!

Only in Hedo.

The State of Our Union Address, 2011

2011-11-08T22:27:00.000-05:00

About a year ago, when I wrote my first "State of Our Union Address", life was very different. Kathleen and I spent nearly every weekend socializing at parties, dancing at clubs or hanging out with friends. Occasionally, we'd hook up for some crazy-fun sex. But more often than not, we simply enjoyed a fun night out, away from the house, and away from the stress of our everyday lives. Our marriage was never stronger, our sex life never better, and our outlook on life never sunnier.

Shortly after I wrote that column, we headed back to the place where it all began (Desire in Cancun) to celebrate our 18th anniversary. There, we met an incredibly fun and friendly couple on our very first night who just happen to live in a neighboring town back home. We hit it off immediately, and spent the next three nights together (in more ways than one.) When we returned home, we continued our relationship with "Donna and Tom" by meeting them at their home and at various clubs in the area. We met their wide circle of friends, and began to feel as though we were part of their select group.

Meanwhile, we continued to get together with our favorite play partners, Ron and Charlotte, about once a month. In January, I tried to organize a "surprise party" for Kathleen's birthday that didn't go nearly as well as I'd envisioned, but was still fun. And between our continued relationship with them, and with our new friends from Cancun, we were very happy to have two sets of friends-with-benefits that we could hang out with a couple times per month.

Little did we realize at the time, it would be the last time we'd see Ron and Charlotte as a couple. In February, Kathleen ventured out to run some errands and stopped by Ron's place to say hello. She simply wanted to have some lunch and chat, but Ron had other things in mind. Kathleen let him know it wasn't going to happen, but he kept pressing. And when she left, he texted her with the message, "It was great seeing you, but not for nothing, that sucked."

And that was the beginning of the end. Kathleen was so turned off by Ron's text, and so hurt that he only viewed her as a sex toy, that she decided she never wanted to see them again. She then began to wonder if all of our other "friends" viewed her the same way as Ron.

Meanwhile, sometime around December, Kathleen began carpooling to work with an older guy she had befriended months earlier named "Oscar." For reasons that still baffle me, she was incredibly attracted to Oscar, and inevitably that attraction slowly morphed into a sexual relationship. I had no idea at the time, but that relationship would eventually put our swinging lifestyle on hold, indefinitely.

Because Oscar isn't in the lifestyle, he tends to get "jealous" whenever Kathleen even talks to another guy. For some reason, it doesn't bother him that Kathleen is married to me, or that he himself is married. But because of his jealousy, Kathleen began to feel strange whenever she became intimate with anyone else. She felt an obligation to tell him about every encounter she had, and whereas it was once thrilling for her to be a little "slutty", she now began to feel guilty about her sexual trysts.

In mid-February, Kathleen and I attended our favorite local party. We met a couple with a very attractive young wife, and eventually accompanied them back to their hotel. Incredibly, it would be the last time Kathleen and I visited that party, and the last time we swung together as a couple for many months thereafter.

Little by little, Kathleen's interest in heading out to clubs on the weekends began to wane. She came up with excuse after excuse to stay home or simply go out to dinner alone. By late February, she began to encourage me to find another single lady to play with on my own. And in early March, I met that woman -- "Danielle" -- at a bar, along with her husband, "Phil". That night, Danielle and I hooked up in the first of what would become a fairly regular basis over the next several months.

She and I got together many times over the next few weeks and enjoyed that awesome sensation of excitement that takes place whenever you meet someone new. Eventually, I, too, reached the point where I began to feel strange about having sex with others. I, too, felt an obligation to tell Danielle about every encounter I had outside of our relationship, simply because we had become frequent sex partners.

Finally, at one point, Kathleen and I had made plans to meet Donna and Tom at a huge swinger's party in the area. We had wanted to visit this particular party for months, and were excited to finally have the opportunity. But as the day approached, both of us began to realize that we really didn't want to have sex with others aside from our "boyfriend" and "girlfriend." So we cancelled our plans with Donna and Tom and instead decided to book a hotel room for me and Danielle.

Over the next four months or so, Kathleen and I swung exclusively apart. I got together with Danielle once a week on average, while Kathleen would occasionally give Oscar a blowjob in the front seat of his car about once a month. By mid-summer, I was beginning to miss our old lifestyle. It wasn't only that I missed having sex with a variety of women (and watching Kathleen have sex with other men), but I missed going out on the weekends and having fun with my wife. And I began to realize that my relationship with Kathleen had begun to suffer. She was no longer interested in sex, to the point where it began to seem like a chore to her -- just as it had before we began swinging. As a result, I began to resent her relationship with Oscar, who I felt had torn her away from the lifestyle, ruining our fun and destroying our happy marriage. And Kathleen began to have mixed feelings about my relationship with Danielle as well. At first, she was so encouraging, she not only pushed me to be with Danielle several times a week, but she also wanted me to be exclusive with her, to the point where I didn't even have sex with my own wife. But as time wore on, Kathleen began to resent the time I was spending with Danielle, the money I was spending when we went out, etc..

I hadn't yet given up hope that Kathleen's libido would return, or that she, too, would begin to miss the fun and excitement of our old life. A glimmer of hope appeared in late July, when we attended a birthday party at Donna and Tom's house, and hooked up with a new couple later that night. But in the days that followed, it became clear that that experience hadn't changed a thing in Kathleen's frame of mind. In the past, we would have wild and crazy sex for days after being with a new couple. But after this encounter, Kathleen showed no interest whatsoever, and we went an entire week before having sex again.

By late August, I had resigned myself to the sad fact that our little experiment in the lifestyle had come to an end. We had stopped going to clubs and parties altogether, and came up with excuse after excuse to avoid Donna, Tom and all the other new friends we had made. I tried to be optimistic, convincing myself that having a taste of that lifestyle for a year was better than never having the experience at all. And that is true.

But there is no denying that our drifting away from the lifestyle has affected not only our relationship, but my own personal growth, in a negative way. While we were in the lifestyle, Kathleen and I couldn't be in a room together without exchanging a passionate kiss or a hug or a simple touch. We behaved like a couple of horny teenagers, and it was wonderful. Our marriage, our commitment, and our love and appreciation for each other had never been stronger. No matter how many bad things happened throughout any given day, it didn't matter because we had each other.

It was comforting in a way that I don't know that I've ever experienced before. And that level of comfort led to a self-confidence and an optimistic outlook on life that was new to me. I have always been a bit of an introvert, but I began chatting with complete strangers in public. I smiled more, stood a little higher, worked out a little harder, wore a little different clothing, and genuinely felt more self-confidence than ever before.

I can honestly say that the experience of being in the lifestyle changed me in ways I never imagined nor expected. And while I can't say that the effect has worn off completely, I do find that I have receded back into my old introverted personality quite a bit in recent months. Kathleen and I no longer exchange passionate kisses unless it's a prelude to sex. And our weekends are consumed mostly with drinking and/or eating somewhere by ourselves.

Kathleen still carpools with Oscar every day, but it has been more than a month since the last blowjob, which was more than a month after the one before that. Even when she does give that rare blowjob, it doesn't seem like Kathleen derives the same dirty pleasure from it that she once did. And since she doesn't share the experience with me, I get absolutely nothing out of it. My visits with Danielle have also dwindled down to a slow trickle in recent months. The last time we got together was weeks ago, and we've probably hooked up only twice in the past three months. Like Kathleen, Danielle claims to have "libido" issues (translation: our relationship is getting old), and has come up with numerous excuses not to get together. It is now to the point where I don't even ask anymore. I figure she'll let me know if/when the time comes. I still text with her almost daily, but it's always very short, succinct and "vanilla."

That, my friends, is the current state of our union. It is a depressing state in many ways, but I refuse to end this year's address on a depressing note. About two months ago, Kathleen and I were discussing where we would vacation during this year's anniversary celebration. All year, it had been assumed that we would make a third trip to Desire. However, thanks to the events I've painstakingly recounted above, that assumption no longer made sense.

We discussed several other options, including a European trip, a cruise, or a stay at a "vanilla" resort. But every time we discussed any one of these options, we realized that it just wouldn't be as much fun as Desire. We wanted to try something new, though, so in the end we settled on Hedo II in Jamaica. We leave just four days from now. And worry not, my faithful readers (err, reader), I will give a full report here.

My expectations for this trip can be summarized in one word: zero. I honestly don't know what to expect from Kathleen's perspective. She has told me she would like to just hang out and have fun -- whatever that means. I haven't pushed the issue, as I'm just happy to be going. And whatever happens, happens. My ultimate fantasy is that Kathleen rekindles whatever mojo she lost over the past nine months, and that this trip launches us into another year of fun, excitement and marital bonding. But I'm smart enough to realize that probably won't happen. So my only goal for the week is to simply avoid arguments. Our last Desire trip was plagued by a couple of nasty arguments that were born from mixing too much alcohol with not enough communication. If we can make it through five days while avoiding those issues then I will leave Jamaica a happy man.

This is the end, my friends

2011-08-23T16:16:00.001-04:00

Our 19th anniversary is quickly approaching, and the time for planning our annual vacation is upon us. For the past two years, we have booked a trip to Desire in Cancun. Our first such vacation was the result of Kathleen's completely unexpected suggestion that we enter "the lifestyle." That trip was our first voyage into this completely unimaginable world where people had casual sex for fun and pleasure. For the entire year that followed, Kathleen and I had so much fun together, it not only fulfilled whatever untapped desires and fantasies we had, but we also grew closer together than ever before.

Last November, we were still very much committed to the notion of a life in the lifestyle. Our second trip to Desire resulted in meeting a couple who became great friends of ours, and who introduced us to their wide circle of friends. For the first time in our married life together, Kathleen and I had a thriving social life. We ventured out of the house whenever possible to socialize and flirt and dance and laugh. Life was better than good -- it was almost perfect.

For reasons that I can't, and probably never will, understand, Kathleen has soured on the lifestyle over the past six months or so. She no longer has any interest in flirting or playing with other men, and even her desire to be with me has drastically plummeted. I held out hope for many months that this was just a passing phase, caused by the careless comment made by Ron, or by her disturbing dedication to Oscar. I believed that on any given day, Kathleen would realize how much fun we had, and how close we had become, and would snap out of her funk and take the plunge into the lifestyle once again.

When we met Darren and Darlene a few weeks ago, and Kathleen was making out with Darren throughout the night, my hope was that this was the turning point I'd been waiting for. But the next day, Kathleen told me that she didn't even touch Darren below the waist that night, and was so "out of it", she actually fell asleep on him a couple of times during their make-out session on the couch. A couple weeks later, we went to the same house for yet another birthday party, and once again, we found ourselves making out with Darren and Darlene. But this time, our clothes stayed on, and we limited our time with them to simply kissing.

In talking with Kathleen since then, it seems that she was only making out with Darren to make me happy. Which, of course, has the result of making me depressed. All I ever wanted was for Kathleen to be enthusiastic about having sex, and nothing is a bigger turnoff than seeing her do something simply because she thinks she has to.

At that party, we spoke with another couple we'd met twice before at Desire. They mentioned how much fun they had at Hedo II in Jamaica, and Kathleen seemed to be on-board with the idea of trying Hedo II this year instead of Desire. But every time I would mention booking the trip, she would give me a lukewarm response.

Finally, last night, I asked her point-blank if she had any interest in booking a trip to either Desire or Hedo. She told me she would agree to it...but she has no interest in playing while there. Fortunately, I'm smart enough to know that if we booked that trip, and the alcohol starts flowing, and people begin flirting...things WILL happen. And if she and I aren't on the same page, arguments will erupt, and it will become the worst vacation ever.

So...I made the decision on the spot to book a "vanilla" vacation this year. And I honestly believe that we've reached the end of the road on our journey of "Exploring the Lifestyle." Kathleen is still okay with me seeing Danielle, and I'm okay with her playing with Oscar (though that hasn't happened in months, and my assumption at this point is that that phase of their relationship is over.) So we won't exactly be living a "vanilla" lifestyle from this point forward. But our days of having carefree, casual sex with others, and flirting and dancing and laughing with all the new friends we've made, are a thing of the past.

In the end, it is better to have swung-and-lost than to never have swung at all. I have memories that I will carry with me until my dying breath. And I am so grateful to Kathleen for introducing this craziness to me, and allowing me to "sow some wild oats." I will never understand why she wants all of this to come to an end, but I respect her decision. In the end, all that matters is that we are still together, and will continue to love each other "til death do us part."

I will continue to update this blog if anything new or exciting develops. (Not that anyone actually reads this blog, anyway!) My entire purpose in creating and maintaining this blog has been to document this incredible journey, so that I can someday look back upon it and reflect upon the times we had. I just never imagined that I'd be reflecting so soon.

Baby steps

2011-07-24T00:12:00.000-04:00

The time stamp doesn't reflect it, but my previous post was written about 10 days ago. I originally wrote it out of pure frustration, and figured I wouldn't actually publish it. But in the interest of documenting this journey, I now believe it's important to publish that post. My optimistic hope is that I can later reflect on it as our lowest point before our dramatic and incredibly fun rebound. Time will tell.

Last night, Kathleen and I went to Tom's house in celebration of Donna's 40th birthday. It was the first time we've socialized in quite awhile, and given that the attendees at this party were all swingers, it was our first "chocolate" social event in several months. Given Kathleen's recent inclinations, I strongly suspected we wouldn't be having any interaction with anyone beyond casual flirting, but I was thrilled to be taking the "baby step" of venturing out and talking/flirting with others in a fun, casual and sexy environment.

Kathleen and I had dinner together at our favorite Chinese restaurant before the party, and after sharing a couple of scorpion bowls we were both feeling a little loose. On the way to the party, we stopped at a liquor store to pick up some wine for her and some beer for me. By the time we arrived at the party, and had settled into the groove, chatting with people for an hour or two, we were both feeling pretty good.

The party rolled along, and I noticed that Kathleen was getting very friendly with one particular guy at the party. And by "friendly", I mean making out with him like a teenager in the back of a movie theater. We had met this guy just once before, months ago, and he seemed to be Kathleen's type: bald, older, wealthy and intelligent. I suppose it's time to come up with a clever alias for him, so let's call him "Darren".

Darren's wife -- let's call her "Darlene" -- is a very sexy woman who seems a little shy at first, but you can tell she would be a little wild once you get to know her. When I first met her, we seemed to have some good chemistry, and I was excited to see her again. I was even more excited when Darlene quickly chose me to be her partner for a game they were playing that night involving a popsicle. That game conveniently allowed us to make out with each other for a little while, and confirmed that we had some good chemistry together.

Fast-forward a few hours. I walked into the kitchen, and Kathleen was once again making out with Darren. It was probably the fourth time that night I witnessed the two of them going at it. At first, I thought that maybe Kathleen was simply going along with it out of politeness and/or drunkenness. Darren can be a bit aggressive, and I wanted to check with Kathleen to make sure she was okay with his advances. She told me she was okay, and when I saw the two of them going at it yet again in the kitchen, I took that as my cue that it was okay to make out with Darlene.

I think Darlene had the same thought running through her head, and we began making out right alongside Kathleen and Darren in the kitchen. After several minutes had passed, Darlene asked me if I wanted to move to the couch in the living room. While I welcomed the comfort of the couch as opposed to standing in the kitchen, several thoughts were running through my head: 1) is Kathleen really okay with this, and would she mind if I had sex with Darlene on the couch?, 2) what will Donna think if she walks into her living room and sees me having sex with Darlene?, and 3) would I be too distracted with all the activity throughout the house to have sex out in the open?

My third question was answered immediately. Before I even sat on the couch, I stripped off my shorts and sat naked from the waist down. Darlene climbed on top of me, and made out with me while my dick sat limp as could be. If something like that had happened a year ago, I would have been scarred for life. But I know better now, and I understand why that happens to me. Rather than make her waste the effort, I simply asked Darlene to lie down on the couch. I then took care of her, and she was very grateful for my effort.

My second question was answered when Donna strolled into the room halfway through our make-out session and then quickly pivoted out of the room. Although she later acted as though she hadn't seen a thing, I know that there is probably some damage control to be done there. That, however, is the least of my worries.

My main concern was with question one. And that question was answered as I was going down on Darlene, and Kathleen and Darren strode into the room and sat on the other side of the L-shaped couch. Eventually, their clothes came off and Darren was on top of Kathleen. At one point, Darlene managed to finally get me hard by blowing me. She then attempted to mount me from on top, and I said I'd need a condom. I then pointed toward Darren, who was mounted between Kathleen's legs at that point, and said I hoped he was wearing a condom, too. Darlene then went over to investigate and reported that he wasn't inside Kathleen -- he was just playing around.

By that time, I had lost my erection, and there was no getting it back. Between worrying about Kathleen's state of mind, all of the activity in the room next to us, Donna roaming around somewhere, a creepy guy stepping into the room to watch our activity close-up, and other random noises and events happening in the room, there was no way I was going to get a hard-on -- and I was okay with that.

After all was said and done, Kathleen told me that she hardly touched Darren -- they just made out like teenagers. She didn't even go down on him, which was shocking to me. To make matters worse, she was so drunk, she said she fell asleep on him a couple of times.

So...while I was hoping that this episode would kick-start Kathleen's libido, it seems as though nothing has changed. Although Darren seems to be Kathleen's type, she didn't seem to get much of a thrill out of being with him. And although I enjoyed my time with Darlene, it seems unlikely that I'll ever have that opportunity again. But it was really nice to be out and socializing again, and hopefully this experience has cracked open the door to new experiences down the road. We shall see.

I want my wife back

2011-07-23T23:13:00.000-04:00

Is it better to have swung and lost than never to have swung at all? That's the question I'm asking myself tonight. For 17 years, I wrestled daily with the sad fact that I was married to a woman who enjoys sex far less than I do. I fought that battle for so long, and suffered so many wounds, I thought they would never heal. Every argument we ever had in those 17 years was about sex. And each and every one of those arguments left us both feeling hurt and inadequate. Eventually, I gave up that battle and accepted the fact that I would never have the relationship with my wife that I always dreamed of having. I stopped arguing, just took whatever she was willing to give me, and consoled myself with the notion that things could be worse.

All of that changed when Kathleen came up with the idea of having sex outside of our marriage. In the months that followed, I often reflected upon those 17 years and wondered to myself: "Had she grown tired of me? Is that why she never wanted to have sex? Had I become boring to her?" It would explain the sudden turnaround.

And yet...by having sex with others, our own relationship grew so incredibly strong, it was impossible to believe such a thing. We shared little looks, touches and kisses throughout the day, had passionate (and naughty!) sex several times a week, and went out on the weekends to explore this new world we had discovered. Even when we weren't actively swinging, we were out of the house, away from the kids, dancing and smiling and laughing and socializing. I felt younger and more alive. And nothing else mattered. Even my monotonous, soul-sucking job seemed easier to tolerate, knowing that I would be rewarded at the end of each week.

All of that has changed now. We no longer share intimate looks and touches throughout the day, we have sex far less often, and we are back to arguing about how I am far too horny, and she is far too tired to keep up with me. We still go out on the weekends, but there is no longer any dancing or flirting or socializing. We have dinner and head straight home.

I feel like I've lost something so important to me, and it seems as though it's never coming back. Today, I feel the same sense of despair and inadequacy that I felt in September of 2009, when swinging was nothing but a far-fetched fantasy. I feel as though I should be grateful for having that experience, as I collected so many incredible memories that I will carry with me for as long as I live. But at the same time, I'm so incredibly sad that it's over.

The Swinger Doldrums

2011-06-24T00:22:00.000-04:00

Two years ago, never in my wildest imagination could I have imagined a life where Kathleen and I would venture out on the weekend to hang out with a group of fun-loving people in a fun, friendly and sexy atmosphere, chatting, dancing and flirting, and occasionally even having casual, fun and completely carefree sex.

A year ago, I never could have imagined a life where Kathleen and I would spend an entire weekend NOT doing these things.

Yet, it's been over three weeks since either of us has had sex with anyone other than each other. And hard as it is for me to believe, it has been over FOUR MONTHS since we have had sex in a true "swinging" situation with another couple. Although I knew this day would come eventually, I never thought it would come quite so soon.

This past weekend, Kathleen told me that she just isn't all that excited about having sex with others anymore. The initial thrill -- the naughtiness and newness of it -- is gone for her. She no longer has any desire whatsoever to have random sexual encounters with anonymous guys. The only type of relationship she desires at this point is a deep friendship with another guy, with an occasional sexual benefit. And right now, she is only interested in one guy, and one guy only: Oscar.

In the meantime, she's happy to share me with Danielle, though she isn't willing to share me to quite the same extent as she did in the past. Whereas before, she gave me free reign to be with Danielle as often as I wanted (and even pushed me to be with her MORE often than I wanted), she now seems to tolerate no more than one meeting per week. Kathleen would prefer not to discuss what happens between her and Oscar, and she has no desire whatsoever to hear what happens between me and Danielle. So what we're left with, then, is this weird arrangement where Kathleen and I are both having exclusive "affairs" outside of our marriage.

This isn't what I signed up for.

When we started this adventure in November of 2009, it was a team effort. We looked each other in the eyes and promised never to allow emotions to get in the way of our fun. We promised that this new "hobby" of ours would be all about casual fun and sexual pleasure -- and nothing else. The very moment we suspected even a hint of emotional attachment was involved, we would tell each other and end our relationships immediately.

But that was a long time ago, and evidently a lot has changed. Today, Kathleen isn't interested in any sexual relationship that doesn't involve emotional ties to some extent. She needs to feel that the guy she is with cares about her in a non-sexual way before she can ever be with him sexually. My feeling is that my emotional needs are already fulfilled through my relationship with Kathleen, and I would prefer that any other relationship I have with another woman to be completely sexual and casual in nature.

Maybe this is simply the difference between men and women. Maybe, as Kathleen has stated on numerous occasions, she is just going through a "dry spell" and will eventually regain her enjoyment of "the lifestyle." Or maybe this is the end of the road. I honestly don't know. All I know is that this isn't what I had in mind when Kathleen first proposed this idea to me roughly a year and a half ago.

If she had said to me in October of 2009: "Joe, I will let you have sex with another woman exclusively if you let me have sex with another guy exclusively", I would have said HELL NO. My favorite part about swinging was sharing my experience with Kathleen afterward. The best sex we ever had was in the moments after swinging, when we related our experiences to each other, reconnected, and reconfirmed our love for each other. It brought us so much closer together, and reconfirmed for me the love we felt for each other. Without that, I simply don't see the point.

The birthday gift

2011-06-02T22:41:00.001-04:00

Although Danielle has been in town throughout the past two weeks, I haven't seen her, due to illness, family visiting from out of town, my commitments, etc.. In the meantime, Kathleen had a couple of sexual encounters with Oscar, including a nice fuck session in our bedroom.

Now...the night before that encounter, I took Kathleen to a movie and we had what I thought was a nice, romantic evening. When we got home, and eventually made our way upstairs, I gave her a sensuous massage, and tried everything I could to get her in the mood. But when I eventually "made my move", she told me she didn't want to "participate" and gave me a blowjob/handjob instead. So I was a little annoyed that she suddenly wanted to be fucked by some other guy the very next morning. But she hadn't had a chance to be fucked by Oscar since their hotel encounter months ago, so I figured she was due. It was simply nice to see her enthusiastic about having sex, and in the back of my mind, I was hoping it would kick-start her libido. (A thought that Kathleen later admitted she shared.)

Whenever Kathleen gets together with Oscar, I have an overwhelming urge to be with her, both because it makes me extremely horny, and because I feel an urgent need to reconnect with her. But she was so nonchalant about the whole encounter, she had no interest in being with me by the time I got home. She said she'd "get me later", which, roughly translated, means "at some point in the future -- probably not today -- I will have sex with you, but I won't be into it at all." After several hours had passed, I couldn't take it anymore, and finally convinced her to give me a few minutes of her time. I sensed that it took every ounce of willpower for her not to roll her eyes and sigh. But she was a good sport about it, and I appreciated the effort.

Meanwhile, I hadn't been with Danielle in over two weeks. Normally, I feel a little guilty being with Danielle when I know Kathleen hasn't been able to "fully" be with Oscar. But given that she had this opportunity, and given that I went out of my way to give it to her, I figured I was owed a guilt-free night with Danielle. Finally, a night opened up on our schedules where I had no commitments and Danielle had no company at her house. So last night, we headed to a bar where we played some pool, watched some hockey, flirted and reconnected.

We then headed back to her place. On the way, we had a long conversation about where Kathleen and I stand in terms of playing with others. Danielle loves to text me during the day, and feels like it allows her to connect with me outside of the bedroom, which enhances the experience when we're in the bedroom. But she knows that it annoys Kathleen when she texts me at certain times, so she's afraid to text me at all. I explained that I have certain times of the day where it's okay to text, and certain times where it's Kathleen's time to be with me exclusively, and I will let Danielle know if it's a bad time to text.

Danielle has had experiences in the past where she has really grown fond of her "boyfriend", only to have him leave her due to problems with the boyfriend's wife/girlfriend. So she tends to be overly sensitive and worries that I, too, will end our relationship. Initially, when I first met Danielle, Kathleen pushed me to be with her constantly, so I set expectations accordingly. But after awhile, it became clear to me that Kathleen isn't as comfortable with sharing me as often as she was initially. So I've since backed off a bit, and that has caused Danielle to worry even more that I will eventually end our relationship. At one point, I even set the stage to do just that, but after talking extensively with Kathleen I came to the conclusion that she was okay with it -- as long as it didn't interfere with "our time" together.

We eventually made our way up to the bedroom, with Phil tagging along. The first time I was with Danielle, I couldn't get past the fact that I was being watched by her husband. Since then, I've learned to tune him out, to the point where I no longer even realize he's in the room. This night, however, was special, as it was Phil's birthday, and he had a special wish. It has been his longtime fantasy to have a guy cum in his wife's pussy, and then lick her clean. Kathleen has shared this fantasy with me before, and it is pretty much the hottest fantasy I've ever heard. But for some reason, when Phil mentioned it...it wasn't so hot. Truth be told, it grossed me out a bit. I simply couldn't imagine licking up another guy's cum out of Kathleen's pussy. But different strokes for different folks. Given the weird shit that turns me on, I'm the last person who should judge anyone for what turns him on in the bedroom!

I fucked Danielle for awhile, but it usually takes me forever to cum -- especially when I'm with her. I'm simply too focused on her comfort and pleasure. She has trouble taking me full-on, so I have to fuck her more slowly and carefully than I'm used to, and that delays my pleasure somewhat. I don't mind it at all, as it makes the experience last longer, but it really bothers her. Unfortunately, the added pressure of "cumming quickly" to make her feel better only makes it last even longer.

There is a certain position that women seem to really enjoy, but it's really difficult for me to maintain, and even more difficult for me to finish. I tried this position last night, and Danielle really seemed to enjoy it. In fact, she enjoyed it so much, she actually came. Later, they both told me that she never cums during intercourse, which was a huge ego boost. After she came, I stopped and gave her a break for a few minutes. I then took a position that works for me, and told her it was now all about me. She told me to do whatever I needed to do to cum, and I warned her that I might have to fuck her hard. She played along, and begged me to fuck her hard. So I blocked out Phil and Danielle and everything else in the world and just focused on my own pleasure. Shortly thereafter, I came deep inside her.

At this point, I knew that it was time to give Phil his birthday present, but I just couldn't bring myself to watch it. So I got up and left the room, and headed to the bathroom until I knew the coast was clear.

By the time I got home, Kathleen was fast asleep. When we first started swinging separately, she would've been beside herself with desire, would have finished herself with a vibrator, and would have been waiting for me to get home, all hot and horny and ready to clean me up. But now, I guess it's old-hat.

I woke up this morning, and Kathleen didn't even mention my night with Danielle. Throughout the day, I waited for her to ask about it, but she never did. We've apparently reached a point where our encounters outside of our marriage are so mundane to her that she doesn't even want to talk about it. And I can't help but ask myself why we continue to do it.

When we first began swinging, it was SO much fun, and SO exciting, and it was such a great experience that we shared with each other every step of the way. It brought us closer and closer, and enhanced our relationship exponentially. Today, neither of us seems to get anything out of the experience. We have sex with others outside of our marriage, but it doesn't help our relationship in any way. In fact, it seems to create problems for us more often than not.

So why do we continue to do it? What are we getting out of this?

Good questions. Wish I had an answer.

"The usual"

2011-06-01T01:21:00.000-04:00

I cannot remember the last time Kathleen's libido has been this low. She simply has no interest in sex -- with me or anyone else at this point. She feels badly about it, and I know she can't help it. The last time I recall her libido being so low was well before we entered "the lifestyle" nearly two years ago. I honestly thought that decision had "cured" her forever, and was prepared to write a book about it to help all horny husbands stuck in sexless marriages. I thought I had all the answers to every question I had ever had about my wife's libido. But I have since been humbled by the understanding that a woman's libido ebbs and flows irregardless of what may be happening in their lives.

Kathleen and I have continued our "bi-nogamous" relationships with Oscar and Danielle, in that we haven't been with anyone else since we committed to them exclusively. While I was last with Danielle a couple of weeks ago, Kathleen has had little sexual contact with Oscar, despite the fact that they have been carpooling to work every day for several weeks now. Finally, last week, Kathleen had what she described as "the usual" experience with Oscar, where she grabbed his dick while the two of them drove to work. He then drove into a dark and empty parking lot, where she immediately leaned over and sucked his cock until he quickly came into her mouth. This is her idea of a "usual" story, and yet it still excites me incredibly.

Yesterday was a holiday, and the entire family had the day off from work and school. I had dressed to jog, and was heading toward the treadmill when Kathleen stopped me to display a text message she had just received from Oscar. It was his birthday. He was heading to the gym, and was asking Kathleen whether she would be free and alone in half an hour, as he was thinking of swinging by. She didn't even need to ask me. I told her I'd take the kids out to lunch and leave her alone in the house. And without hesitation, she happily conceded.

By the time I came home, I was hoping to hear a really hot and steamy story that would sustain me for days. Here is Kathleen's highly-paraphrased account, from what I can recall:

"Oscar texted me right before he got here. He wanted to know whether to come in through the side or back door. I told him the front door. He was worried that our neighbors would see him, and I had to explain that if he came in through anything but the front door, it would look a lot more suspicious!

"He asked how I got you all out of the house, and I told him that I showed you his text, and you simply offered to take the kids out of the house for awhile. (I don't think Oscar quite understands the dynamic of our relationship just yet.) I then asked him to come upstairs to our bedroom, and he said, 'are you sure??' Apparently, he didn't think we'd want him to have sex on our bed.

"I led him to our bedroom, and he began sucking my tits. I love it when he does that, and he seems to love it just as much. We both then stripped, and I sucked his cock for awhile -- a very short while, because he was fully erect before I even started. He then started fucking me with his big, thick cock, and after a little while he asked me to flip over. I flipped over the way you like it, with my ass high in the air on all fours, and my head buried in the pillow...but he didn't seem to like that at all. Eventually, he had me lying flat on my belly.

"He entered me from behind, with me lying flat on my belly. It was really weird, yet it felt really good. He was all the way inside me, but he barely moved. But what little movement he made hit just the right spot. If he had continued hitting that spot for a few more minutes, I would've cum. But less than a minute later, he was cumming inside me."

To Kathleen, this qualifies as a "boring" story. It's amazing how far we've come in only a few short months. If such a thing had happened only a few months ago, we both would've been so turned on by it, it would've sustained us for months. But now, it seems like "old hat."

It never seems old to me.

Still Swingin'

2011-05-18T23:25:00.000-04:00

As much as we enjoy having casual sex with friends and assorted strangers, life has an annoying habit of getting in the way sometimes. Such has been the case for us over the past several weeks, as Kathleen's health problems have occupied so much of our thoughts that there has been little room for extracurricular fun. During that period, she came to realize that she relies on me a great deal for both emotional support and practical reasons. Suddenly, my adventures with Danielle weren't nearly as exciting for her, and she even began to resent the fact that I would take time away from her and the family to be with Danielle.

My marriage to Kathleen is the most important thing in my life, and that has been true for nearly two decades now. Our marriage is my greatest singular source of pride. Not only am I proud of the fact that we've been married for so long, and not only am I proud that our marriage is so strong and so loving after so many years, but I am so proud to call Kathleen my wife. I'm so proud and humbled to know that out of all the men in the world, she chose me to share the rest of our lives together.

Obviously, nothing is more important to me than the bond I share with Kathleen. Over the past few weeks I began to sense that she was growing uncomfortable with my arrangement with Danielle. And although she's promised me that she will let me know if it bothers her in any way, I got the strong feeling that she was having second thoughts about the entire relationship.

I offered to end my relationship with Danielle completely, as I just didn't feel as though it is worth risking even a fraction of the bond Kathleen and I share. But Kathleen insisted she was okay with it. She explained that she has been preoccupied by her health problems, and as a result her libido has been near an all-time low. She actually felt grateful that Danielle was willing to "pick up the slack", knowing that my libido is still at its usual plateau.

I didn't know what to think or do at this point, so I just gave it some time to work out on its own. I backed off from Danielle for awhile, and set the stage with her in case I decided to pull the plug at some point. And I continued to keep the lines of communication open with Kathleen. After a couple of weeks, I approached the topic once again when the time was right, and Kathleen was very open and honest about how she felt about my relationship with Danielle. She explained that she is perfectly fine with it, as long as I am not taking time away from her and the family.

When I was 100% confident that I understood where Kathleen stands, I contacted Danielle and let her know that I could see her. Of course, she wanted to meet as soon as possible, so I drove over to her place last night. I walked through the door and she greeted me with a big hug, kiss and smile. She has been really stressed out at work lately, and I could tell that I was helping her to relieve some of that stress simply by being there. She was dressed in her usual sexy outfit: a tight black shirt with skin-hugging jeans that accentuated her gorgeous ass.

We chatted for a few minutes, and inevitably we started to kiss and grope each other. Danielle and her husband have a roommate who lives with them, and I'm always very nervous about exposing the two of them in front of him, as he is unaware that they swing. He was across the street when I arrived, and they weren't sure when he would be returning. Normally, Danielle and I would wait for him to return, and then sneak upstairs to her bedroom once he went to sleep. But last night, we couldn't wait.

She led me upstairs to the guest bedroom, and within seconds I was straddling her mouth, shoving my dick down her throat. Prior to meeting Danielle and her husband, Phil, I had never had sex in a situation where someone in the room was merely watching and not participating. Phil likes to watch, and it took me quite awhile to get used to that. But at this point, even though I'm aware of it, I don't realize he's in the room. I simply focus on Danielle and pretend it's just the two of us alone.

After fucking Danielle's mouth for awhile, and fingering her soaking-wet pussy while doing so, she literally begged me to fuck her. Danielle LOVES quickies, and although I love them, too, I'm usually not able to deliver. It often becomes one of those self-fulfilling prophecies where I am so concerned about giving her a quickie that it ends up taking me forever. More often than not, I last far too long for Danielle's taste, and I end up feeling like a selfish jerk. But last night, I gave Danielle exactly what she wanted. Within five minutes of fucking her, I was filling her up, to the delight of both her and Phil.

Normally, we spend an entire night drinking and talking downstairs while waiting for their roommate to go to sleep, so it was a nice change of pace to get the sex out of the way first, and have some relaxation time afterward. The three of us chatted for quite awhile, drinking at their bar and then moving to the chairs next to their fireplace (it has been unseasonably cold in this area recently) after their roommate retired for the night.

I'm always very concerned about overstaying my welcome, and given that it was a weeknight, I wanted to leave at a decent hour. At that point, I rose and began to make my way toward the door. Phil then said good-night, stating that he wanted to give the two of us some time alone to say good-bye. Danielle then leaned in and gave me a passionate kiss. By this time, she had changed into these incredibly awesome pants made out of this unbelievably soft and fuzzy material. The feel of her legs and ass through this material drives me insane -- and she knows it.

Our kissing grew more and more passionate, and the next thing I knew, my pants were around my ankles, and Danielle was climbing on top of my rock-hard cock while I sat in the chair. We fucked like that, with her on top, for what seemed like twenty minutes. I warned Danielle that I wouldn't be able to cum again, but she didn't seem to care. She told me it felt good -- and it did for me as well.

After a long time, we stood up and I got dressed again. Once again, I began collecting my things to head out for the night. And once again, she began kissing me passionately. At some point, I reached my hand down to caress her belly, and slowly moved my hand down to her aching pussy only to discover that she was extremely wet yet again. Next thing I knew, my cock was out yet again, and she was guiding me into her while she sat on a bar stool. I fucked her for quite awhile, playing with her clit while doing so, until we finally agreed to call it a night.

It was a good night.

Limbo

2011-05-09T22:28:00.000-04:00

It all began when Kathleen mentioned that she would like to get a hotel room with Oscar some night. She then mentioned that she would like me to get a room with Danielle some night, so I mentioned this to Danielle and Phil, and they were totally on-board with the idea. We then talked about it for weeks and weeks. Finally, last Friday, the big night arrived, and I drove to the hotel to meet Danielle for our long-awaited rendezvous.

Unfortunately, a lot happened between Kathleen's hotel night with Oscar and my night with Danielle. As a result, my night with Danielle wasn't quite everything I thought it would be. I spent most of the night worrying about what Kathleen was doing, and wondering how she felt about the whole idea. And instead of being incredibly turned on by the notion of me being away in a hotel room together with another woman, Kathleen spent the night alone and miserable at home.

How did this happen? Well...it's complicated.

It's so complicated that I'm not sure I completely understand it. A number of factors have come into play recently -- not the least of which is that Kathleen is dealing with some health problems. Quite understandably, those problems have completely absorbed her attention, and she has come to rely on me more so than usual. She has also come to realize that although she enjoys sharing me sexually, she does not enjoy sharing my time. She no longer finds it cute when I receive texts and e-mails from Danielle, and she no longer appreciates me taking time away from her and the family to spend with Danielle.

Meanwhile, Kathleen's relationship with Oscar has become nearly platonic. They have not had sex (of any kind) in weeks, and she views him as more of a friend at this point than anything else. Part of this is due to Kathleen's health problems. Another part has to do with problems that Oscar is having at home. And part has to do with the fact that Kathleen just isn't interested anymore. In nearly 20 years of marriage, it's difficult for me to recall a time when Kathleen's libido has been so low. There are simply so many things on her mind these days, there is no room for thoughts of sex.

So where does this leave us? Just take a look at the title of this post. I have told Kathleen that I will stop seeing Danielle indefinitely. I really enjoy being with her, but it simply isn't worth risking my marriage to carry on this relationship. Truth be told, I was having far more fun before I met Danielle. I was drawn to "the lifestyle" because it strengthened my relationship with Kathleen, and it felt like we were doing something together that we both enjoyed. By swinging separately (and exclusively), we took this lifestyle into a new direction that doesn't seem to work well for either of us. So why continue it?

Because Kathleen's health problem requires that she carpool with Oscar on a daily basis, she continues to see him daily. And I have no problem with that -- whether it is platonic or not. I long ago realized that there will be an imbalance when it comes to swinging, and that imbalance will always favor Kathleen. And I am okay with that. I love sharing her, I love to see her in action, and I love to hear her stories when I'm unable to see her.

As for whether we will continue to swing -- or in what capacity -- that question remains open for the time being. It has been a long, strange journey so far, and the only constant during this entire trip has been our love for each other and our faith in our marriage. I don't expect that will ever change. And in the end, nothing else matters.

Our bi-nogamous experiment continues

2011-04-06T13:23:00.000-04:00

Three and a half weeks ago, Kathleen and I made the joint decision to become exclusive with Danielle and Oscar. Since that time, Kathleen also made the decision that she would no longer have sex with me as long as Danielle is in town. She initially told me she decided this because it turned her on, knowing that she "couldn't have me" and that my needs were being satisfied by someone else. As a result of this decision, Kathleen and I have hardly touched each other in three and a half weeks (with the exception of one "slip-up" when passion got the best of us and I couldn't help myself.)

I was initially against this idea, but I agreed to go along with it on a trial basis, because it seemed to be something that Kathleen really wanted to do. And when I told Danielle about it, she was thrilled. Her husband, Phil, was also thrilled -- so thrilled that he, too, agreed not to be with Danielle while the two of them are in town, so that we both could be exclusive only with each other.

So, in the past three and a half weeks, I have had sex with Kathleen exactly once. And I have averaged probably three or four times a week with Danielle. The sex between us is still hot, in part because we are still relatively new to each other. Recently, she even fulfilled yet another one of my longtime fantasies by visiting me at home during the day for a "nooner" while I was at work.

Meanwhile, Kathleen and Oscar have gotten together on occasion, including one extremely hot encounter at Kathleen's parents' house while they were away. Kathleen greeted him at the door, led him into the living room and immediately dropped to her knees to give him an incredible blowjob. He came in her mouth (as he always does), but then kept stroking his dick and came AGAIN on her tits! I was so incredibly aroused from hearing that story that I asked Danielle if I could see her immediately. I then bolted over to her place in the middle of the day. She greeted me at the door wearing tiny little shorts and a tight little T-shirt, and less than ten minutes later I was filling her pussy with my hot cum.

This little experiment has definitely had its moments. But I do greatly miss being with Kathleen, and lately I sense that Kathleen is not enjoying this experiment as much as she thought she would. For starters, she is not able to get together with Oscar very often -- and in the brief 10-minute encounters they do have together, it is usually all about him. Yesterday, Kathleen tore into me for spending too much money while I'm out with Danielle and Phil. And today, she blew up at me for coming home too late and being too tired to take out the garbage this morning. Obviously, there is something bothering her that goes way beyond money and garbage.

I wrote to her earlier today, telling her that I think it may be time to end this experiment and go back to the way things were before Danielle and Oscar -- back when we had casual, fun sex with others, and shared in that experience together. I feel like our relationship has suffered from this bi-nogamous experiment of ours, and I wouldn't sacrifice even the tiniest bit of what we have together for anything.

Danielle and Phil leave town in four days, and (with the exception of a planned night in a hotel room three weeks from now) I won't see them again for another five weeks afterward. I'm hoping that during that time apart, Kathleen and I can reconnect, recalibrate and reconsider what we are doing, why we are doing it, and where we want to go from here.

Opening up

2011-03-27T00:05:00.000-04:00

During my senior year in high school, I began dating a girl named Dawn, who was a sophomore. She was a really pretty girl, but she was very quiet, innocent and demure. We had been dating for a couple of weeks when a few of her friends approached me in the hallway between classes to interrogate me. They wanted to know how I felt about Dawn, and being the honest sort of guy that I am, I told them exactly how I felt: I thought she was really pretty, and I liked hanging out with her. Then, they asked me a question that threw me for a loop: when are you going to ask her to go steady?

Now...I had only heard of the term "going steady" in old reruns of the Brady Bunch, and it hadn't occurred to me that I needed to make such an official declaration. I just assumed that Dawn knew that once I began seeing her, I had made a decision to stop seeing other girls. It honestly never even occurred to me that anyone would ever do otherwise. I have always been a "one-woman/one-man" sort of guy, and I always assumed that everyone else was in the same boat.

Of course, now that I'm "in the lifestyle," I've learned that a person can separate sex from emotion and simply enjoy the company of others without any emotional attachment whatsoever. At least, that was the plan when we originally ventured into this lifestyle. But it seems that every rule we had ever devised from the beginning has been tossed aside. And now, we've reached the point where I don't even know why we do what we do.

Initially, we enjoyed watching each other have sex with others. It was a HUGE turn-on for both of us. But we eventually figured out that if we are in the same room together, we're so concerned with, and distracted by, each other that we can't fully enjoy ourselves.

So we decided to start swinging in separate rooms. And whenever we did so, we would review -- in vivid detail -- every moment of our time apart. And it was a tremendous turn-on to talk about it and write about it and relive every moment of it again and again. At this point, my favorite part about being with another person was reconnecting with Kathleen afterward. I loved the feeling of verifying and renewing our love for each other.

Eventually, the question was asked: if we enjoyed swinging in separate rooms, then why was it so important to swing at the same time? And there was no valid answer. So eventually, we began swinging separately. She would go off with another guy, or (far more rarely) I would go off with another woman, and when we returned home we would immediately reconnect and go over EVERY detail of our encounter. We would even write it down on this blog, so that we could relive that encounter again and again. And it was very hot.

But eventually, Kathleen began to see this blog as a "homework assignment," and she found it too distracting to have to remember every detail about her encounters while she was living them. I wanted her to enjoy every moment, so I told her not to worry about updating this blog anymore.

When Kathleen first began a serious relationship with Oscar, we would reconnect after each of her encounters. She would tell me everything that happened, and it was so hot, it would inevitably lead to some incredible sex. But after a few of these encounters, I would ask how things went, and Kathleen would simply say, "the usual." It became a chore for her to recount the events of the encounter, so eventually we gave that up, too. And since we weren't working ourselves up by talking about these encounters, we never reconnected with each other, either.

So here we are, roughly 18 months into our venture into "the lifestyle," and we have already reached a point where we are swinging separately -- and exclusively -- with other people outside of our marriage. And whatever happens while we swing pretty much stays with us. This is such a far cry from where we began, it worries me where we'll be six months from now.

Last weekend, I spent the day at a hotel with Danielle. I then saw her once or twice afterward, and then spent the night at her place last night. All the while, Kathleen has decided that she will not have sex with me until two weeks from now when Danielle and Phil leave to head back to their other home. In the past two weeks, I estimate I've had sex with Danielle at least a dozen times. Yet I can't even remember when Kathleen and I last had sex. Kathleen thinks that is very hot, but I really miss her. I have loved every minute with Danielle, don't get me wrong, but I really miss my wife.

I have no idea where we're heading with this "open marriage" concept, and I'm not even sure how or why we got to where we are. I really enjoyed our "old life", meeting new people, making new friends, going to parties, having casual sex with no attachments whatsoever, etc.. Don't get me wrong -- I really enjoy being with Danielle as well. Our chemistry together is off the charts. But I miss the early days, when we had random sex with strangers and shared the entire experience with each other. Back then, it was all about us as a couple. Today, it's all about us as individuals.

Kathleen calls this progress. And given the way I was raised, and the values and assumptions that I had built back in high school, when I just assumed that every relationship was exclusive, what we're doing today is far more natural than what we were doing before. But where are we heading? And why are we doing it? These are the questions that linger in the back of my mind when I try to sleep at night.

Poly wanna?

2011-03-17T13:10:00.000-04:00

Kathleen's date with Oscar at the hotel went smoothly. From what she has told me, he arrived at around 3:00am. She greeted him wearing crotchless panties (which he requested) and one of my old dress shirts. Within seconds, both the shirt and panties were ripped off of her (he didn't even notice she wore them), and the two of them were fucking like bunnies. They went at it for about an hour, and then fell asleep in each other's arms. At around 6:00am, they woke up, had breakfast, and then fucked in multiple positions for another hour or two. They then fell back asleep before waking up for good at around 10:30am.

The entire time, oddly enough, I was asleep. I had just returned from a night out on the town with Danielle, and I was exhausted. On our second date, Danielle and I had sex in the back seat of her husband's car, with her husband in the front seat, in the middle of a parking lot. It was a long-time fantasy of mine to do such a thing, and it lived up to its hype. The next time we were together, we met at her place and ventured into the basement, where we had sex on her couch. That was the night Kathleen and Oscar hooked up at their hotel room.

The week or two leading up to Kathleen's rendezvous with Oscar was emotionally draining for me. Since we began this insane experiment, I have always enjoyed sharing Kathleen. I absolutely love watching her with other guys, and I love hearing (and reading) about her adventures. It's a huge turn-on for me. But I sensed that her relationship with Oscar was somehow different. From the moment we first agreed to dip our toes into the lifestyle waters, our number one rule has been that we would never tolerate any emotional connection with another person. If we experienced even a hint of affection toward anyone else, beyond mere friendship, then we would end the relationship immediately.

But I sensed that this was no ordinary casual fling for Kathleen. Just the way she talked about Oscar was different. At first, I wrote it off as a figment of my active imagination, but eventually it began to eat away at me. Until one night, I just came out and asked her if she had feelings for Oscar. And when she couldn't answer that question immediately, I instantly became nauseous.

In the past few days, Kathleen and I have had some intense conversations about what we're doing, how we feel about it, and where we think we're heading. We both feel the relationships we have with Oscar and Danielle are somehow different than the ones we've established earlier. And we've reached a point where we feel uncomfortable swinging with others. As a result, we've had to cancel our plans with the friends we've made in the lifestyle.

I have asked Kathleen, point-blank, how she feels about Oscar. She says she feels a strong connection to him as a friend, and believes her feelings might develop beyond friendship at some point. But she insists that no matter what happens, she will always love me just the same as she does today.

Meanwhile, Kathleen is ecstatic about my relationship with Danielle, and is more than comfortable with the notion that we may develop feelings for each other. I have been with Danielle numerous times now, and I really enjoy her company in and out of the bedroom. I consider her to be a great friend, and I care about her. I know that she also cares about me a great deal, and I also get the strong impression that her feelings for me extend beyond that.

But I cannot allow myself to feel anything but friendship toward anyone beside Kathleen. I made a vow that I would love her -- and only her -- until the day I die, and I just can't bring myself to break that promise. I will never feel the same way about anyone as I feel about Kathleen -- partly because I would never allow myself to feel that way.

I adore Danielle, I consider her to be a great friend, I think she's incredibly hot, and I love the way she makes me feel. But she can never, ever have any part of my heart. Kathleen is #1, and there is no #2. And there never will be.

Kathleen is now toying with the notion that we are a "poly-amorous" couple. And she is more than comfortable with the notion that each of us can fall in love with someone else. As long as we stay together, any relationship we have outside of our marriage is irrelevant.

I have a really hard time with this notion. But I also have a really difficult time trying to explain why I feel the way I do. Earlier today, Kathleen stated that not too long ago, we were having sex with anyone who struck our fancy, and were entertaining ideas of her visiting a gloryhole or fucking multiple strangers in a hotel room. "So what we're doing now...how is that any worse?", she asked. It was a damn good question. There is something to be said about being bi-nogamous.

The strange thing for me is the fact that I really don't want to be with anyone else now, aside from Kathleen and Danielle. This weekend we were supposed to attend a swinger party at a huge mansion, with hundreds of people in attendance, including several we already know. I was looking forward to this party for a long time. But I talked to Kathleen earlier today, and told her that I just don't feel right being with anyone else besides her and Danielle. So we canceled our plans and made plans to hang out with Danielle and her husband instead. And for some reason, that decision makes me very happy.

I have NO idea where we're going with this. But, at least so far, I'm comfortable and happy with where we are.

Danielle

2011-03-08T10:16:00.000-05:00

My first experience as "a single guy" with Linda last October proved to be my last experience, as Linda's mother experienced some health issues, causing Linda to understandably put our playtime together on the back burner. It was just as well, as I didn't feel as though I really connected with her. That one experience was a blast, but if I never play with her again, I'm good with it.

I figured I was probably done playing alone, as it's simply too difficult to find the right situation. But then last week, I logged onto AFF and noticed a profile for a couple where the husband was looking to share his wife. Not only are these types of profiles extremely rare on AFF, but the photos of the wife were incredibly hot. I figured I had nothing to lose, so I sent them a quick e-mail explaining our situation and expressing an interest in meeting them at some point.

Surprisingly, the husband returned my e-mail shortly thereafter, explaining that his wife had already met a guy in the area. I replied, saying that I wished them the best of luck, though I was secretly hoping that his wife wouldn't get along with the new guy at all. I then received a reply later that day that the meeting didn't work out, and asking me if I'd meet the two of them for drinks later that night. Of course, I happily accepted.

We met that very same night, and engaged in some idle chit-chat about our experiences in the lifestyle while having drinks at a local bar. I wasn't really sure how it was going, but when they asked me to come back to their place for a nightcap, I figured it was going pretty well. When we arrived back at their place, the wife (we'll call her "Danielle") and I eventually settled into a giant chair, where we began to make out with each other.

I've never been in a position before where I had sex with a woman while her husband simply watched. I always thought it would be hot, but I found it was a bit distracting. While Danielle and I made out, I could feel her husband's presence somewhere in the room, though I couldn't see him. Eventually (after a very long time), I got over that problem and was able to perform well enough that Danielle practically begged me to return.

Both Danielle and her husband (we'll call him "Phil") expressed an interest in meeting Kathleen, so the very next night, we met with them for dinner at a Chinese restaurant. We had the best time laughing and chatting and drinking mai-tai's, and eventually closed the place at around 11:00pm. By the end of the night, Kathleen was more than comfortable with me being with Danielle, as she and Phil were elated to discover.

After a whirlwind weekend, I found myself traveling back to Danielle's on Monday night. We sat at her bar for a long time, simply chatting and flirting, before eventually heading upstairs. We had a great time together, re-exploring each other's bodies and learning what turns us on, etc.. For the first time, I finished with her, with Danielle riding me from atop. We eventually dressed and made our way back downstairs, where we rejoined Phil (who decided not to watch this time, in order to give us some space), and we chatted and continued to flirt.

Eventually, the flirting became so intense that Danielle was soon asking me if I wanted to go back upstairs for Round 2. I could not resist. She got off again, and eventually I finished as well. It was an unforgettable night -- one that will be almost impossible to top.

So now I have a "steady girlfriend" and Kathleen has a "steady boyfriend." I have no idea how long these relationships will last, or how often we will get together. For now, I'm just enjoying the moment.

Oscar

2011-03-08T00:47:00.003-05:00

A lot has happened over the past few weeks. And although I've found that it's difficult to articulate my feelings, I have an overwhelming urge to try. I've spent the past several days engaging Kathleen in some very deep conversations, to the point where I think I've sprained her brain. But I just feel this aching need to talk things over with her and make sure we're on the same page before we progress any further. That is how we began this great adventure, and I feel as though we've strayed SO far from the last time we had an in-depth chat about these things that we were due for another one.

It all began when Kathleen announced that she would like to spend an evening alone with Oscar. Now, her relationship with Oscar has been ongoing for literally MONTHS. It began with some simple flirting -- something Kathleen is subjected to on a daily basis at her job. After some casual flirting, Oscar blatantly hit on her, pulling her aside and asking her if she "likes what she sees." Oscar is significantly older than Kathleen, but she's always been attracted to older men. So it didn't surprise me when she told me she wasn't able to look him in the eye and answer that question.

Eventually, the two of them became friends, and began carpooling into work. It was all innocent at first. Occasionally they would discuss sex. And eventually (inevitably?), Oscar whipped out his cock and gave Kathleen a good look at it. And she really liked what she saw. Oscar is married, and he and his wife are not in "the lifestyle", so his infidelity bothers me quite a bit from a moral standpoint, but Kathleen doesn't seem to mind (or, at least, she tries not to think about it.)

One day, while car-pooling, Oscar whipped out his cock again, displaying a drop of pre-cum on his dick for Kathleen, and she leaned over and licked it off. Another line had been crossed. The next time they car-pooled, Kathleen was driving, and she found a deserted parking lot. She then leaned over and sucked Oscar's cock until he exploded in her mouth. At that point, all lines had been crossed, and it was too late to cross over again.

The next time they got together, I had taken the kids to Florida for the weekend. On the way home from work, Oscar stopped by our house. Kathleen greeted him at the door, pulled him into our front room, dropped to her knees, and sucked his cock until he came all over her face.

About two weeks later, I had to go out of town on business. Kathleen set her alarm for 2:00am, greeted Oscar at our front door wearing nothing but an old dress shirt of mine, pulled him into our living room, and sucked his cock to completion once again.

With each story, I was completely aroused and excited to hear what she had done. But at the same time, I couldn't quite shake the feeling that something had changed. This guy was a little bit different than all the others she had been with.

Over the past few days, I've learned that my suspicions were not without merit. Kathleen does indeed have feelings for Oscar that have nothing to do with her sexual desires. And this Thursday night, she has set up a date. She has booked a hotel room for her and Oscar, and for the first time in our 20-year relationship, she will be alone with another guy for a full 12 hours.

I have spent many, many sleepless hours thinking about this. We have come SO far from where we began. When we first began this adventure, we talked about this being a joint experience, where we would "enhance" our own relationship by being with others. We agreed that if we ever had ANY feelings whatsoever for anyone else, other than mere friendship or lust, then the relationship would end immediately and without question.

And yet, here we are.

I don't quite know where we are, or where we're going, or why we're going there. Rationally, I know that Oscar is about 18 years older than Kathleen, and he's married, so the chances are good that he won't steal her away from me. I'm also very confident that Kathleen loves me, so she wouldn't leave me, regardless. So I'm not really sure why I feel so anxious about their meeting this week. I've allowed Kathleen to play separately many times before, but for some reason this one feels different.

Kathleen and I have had a few very deep conversations over the past few days, and those talks have brought me great comfort. After all those talks, my key takeaway is this: I just want Kathleen to be happy. I want her to enjoy her night with Oscar, have some incredibly hot sex (because up until this point, it's been all about him), and then return to me at the end of their time together fully satisfied. After that, maybe we'll have another talk.

Free agents

2011-02-21T23:31:00.000-05:00

Many years ago, well before Kathleen and I began this crazy new adventure, I was sitting at a bar with a friend of mine who was going through a painful divorce. I couldn't pretend to understand the difficulty he was experiencing at that time, as I was so happy and satisfied with my own marriage that I almost felt guilty about it. But in an effort to boost his spirits and relate to him on some level, I suggested that I was envious that he now had the opportunity to experience "being a free agent" once again. Although it had been many years since I was single, I vaguely remembered being a free agent myself, when a night out included the titillating possibility of meeting someone new and exciting. Although (far) more often that not, nothing special would happen during a night out, the mere possibility that something might happen added a certain electricity to the air. Truth be told, I wasn't feeding him a line of bullshit. I really was a bit envious.

I never thought I would have the opportunity to experience that feeling ever again, but that all changed when Kathleen introduced us to "the lifestyle" a year and a half ago. Although we can be "free agents" any night of the week, it has been a very long time since the two of us ventured out into the night with no prior commitment to any particular couple.

That all changed Saturday night, when we found ourselves in a rare and wonderful position of being "free agents" at our favorite local house party. Although we knew Tracie and Bobby would be at this party, Kathleen and I agreed that we wouldn't hook up with them on this night, and force ourselves to socialize and meet someone new.

At some point in the night, we made our way down to the basement, and I spotted a very attractive younger woman sitting by the space heater. Her name (for the sake of this blog) was "Tawny," and she was simply stunning. With her big, beautiful eyes, her full, pouty lips and softly curled dark hair, she had a somewhat exotic look that was a bit intoxicating. (It was either that, or the three mai-tai's I had with Kathleen at dinner that night.)

We chatted for quite awhile, and learned all about Tawny and her husband (we'll call him "Louie.") It was a pleasant conversation, and they seemed to enjoy our company. At some point, I made my move, and began lightly stroking Tawny's back while we talked. I didn't get any reaction whatsoever, so I had no choice but to ask her straight out if she was okay with me touching her. She smiled and assured me that it was.

When we moved upstairs to give them a tour of the rest of the place, I made my next move, leaning in to kiss her. And this time, I got the response I was looking for. It was incredibly exciting knowing that this beautiful young woman was attracted to me. And since my wing-man Kathleen seemed to be having fun with Louie, the night couldn't have been going any better.

The four of us eventually ducked into one of the private rooms at the house, but it was so sleazy-looking, it ruined the mood for all of us. Louie then mentioned that they had booked a hotel room nearby, and invited us to come back to their place. Of course, we happily accepted.

Once we got to their room (a suite), we split up, with Kathleen and Louie taking the sleeper-sofa, while Tawny and I took the bed. As we began to make out, I had to pause a few times just to appreciate the sight I was seeing. Little by little, I removed Tawny's clothes to reveal more and more of her gorgeous body, and it practically took my breath away.

And yet, despite what I was seeing, I still found myself incredibly distracted by what was happening on the other side of the room. If there is anything I have learned about myself in the past 18 months, it is that same-room sex freaks me out. I simply can't concentrate or focus, to the point where I just can't enjoy myself. And tragically, this occasion was no different.

I went down on Tawny for quite awhile, and she seemed to enjoy herself a great deal. But when it came time for "my turn", I could not get aroused. Again. I will never understand my dick. It just doesn't make any sense to me.

Tawny was a good trooper. She went down on me for awhile, and when it was clearly not going to work, we simply lay next to each other for awhile and talked (all the while trying to block out all the moaning coming from the other side of the room.) She then gave it a second attempt, and this time I was able to concentrate enough to get hard. To my relief, I stayed hard, and even managed to slip on a condom without losing it. But after fucking her for a short time, I could sense that it just wasn't going to last much longer. The condom was cutting into my circulation, and was really uncomfortable. (I'm pretty sure I had it on inside-out!)

So once again, we had to pause and lay next to each other, chatting. Also by this time, my head began to swim, and my mouth was incredibly dry from all the mai-tai's I'd had that night. After taking a bit of a breather to down some water and chat a little more, I asked Tawny if she would blow me again. And being the good girl that she is, she happily agreed. At one point, I was moving her hair out of the way to get a bettter look, and she stopped to tell me that if I wanted to pull her hair, it was okay. So, naturally, I complied.

That got my engine revving, and within a couple of minutes, I was giving her a polite warning that I was about to cum. She left her mouth on my cock while jerking me off, allowing the cum to drip down my shaft. I only wish there were a little more light in the room so I could have seen it better. But the mental image is priceless.

We exchanged info with the two of them as we were leaving, and my fingers are crossed that they will become another one of our "regular fuck buddies." If not, it was still a great experience, and a "best-case scenario" when it comes to being a free agent.

The Blow 'N' Go

2011-01-17T12:15:00.001-05:00

Kathleen here.

Oscar and I have always been friends. Over the past few months, we have started to flirt a lot more and there is definitely a sexual tension there. Although we don't work for the same company, we do see each other during business hours because we work in the same building. We have even carpooled a few times to save a bit of money on gas. Of course, since we live so far away from work, our drives can get pretty entertaining with the conversations that we have about sex. Oscar gets visibly worked up from these conversations. One day when I noticed the bulge in his pants, I reached over and grabbed it. I was shocked at how thick it was. That about did it for me. I was intrigued.

We have been trying to find a few moments to 'get together' for quite some time now. It's funny, he's almost 17 years older than I am. (I know, who knew that a guy who is almost 60 would intrigue me?) I was alone all weekend because Joe took the kids to visit his Dad. It was unfortunately very uneventful. I worked and cleaned the house. Oscar was aware that I was alone, but circumstances prevented us from getting together. Until I got a call this morning. He was leaving work at 10 and said that he could drop by to see me on his way home. BUT, he could only stay for about 10 minutes or so.

Around 10:45, the doorbell rang. I got up and answered it. He immediately came in and kissed me. He took his jacket off and put it on the hall table. Without a word, I unzipped his pants and pulled his already rock hard cock out of his pants. I got down on my knees and started to lick and suck him. He then pulled his pants down so I could have better access. He wasn't as thick as I had remembered, but he was a good size. Thicker than average anyways. What was strange to me was he was bent. I don't mean bent like a banana. I mean bent like a boomerang! I have never seen such a crooked cock in my life! It was strange to try to deep throat something that is at almost a 90 degree angle. I did my best, and I think Oscar was impressed. I continued to suck his cock and he started to thrust his hips and helped me by fucking my face. All the while, he made a growling sound. It was a bit strange at first, then I found it to be kind of hot. I knew that he was enjoying the moment and that was a turn on for me. He then started to stroke his cock while my mouth was on the very tip. He was doing that when he started to cum. I have a hard time swallowing when my mouth isn't fully being used, so I ended up dribbling most of it out of my mouth. I rinsed off and he got dressed. We talked for a few minutes, and then he was off.

Great idea, poor execution

2011-01-06T12:53:00.001-05:00

Ron and Charlotte reached out to us a couple of weeks ago, asking if we could get together again soon. Kathleen then gave me the green light to plan our evening with them, and with her birthday just around the corner, I came up with what I thought was a fun and exciting idea.

I had scripted the night to go something like this:

We would all go out for drinks, and then head to a hotel room afterward. As soon as we get to the room, I would announce to Kathleen that we have a surprise in store for her. I would then blindfold her and lead her to the center of the room. She would protest, of course, but we would all insist that she go along with it. The three of us would then strip her naked and lie her in the middle of the bed.

We would each take turns kissing her and running our hands all along her body. She wouldn't know whose hands or mouth were whose. She would only feel one mouth and tongue kissing her neck, another licking her nipples, and another licking her pussy. The three of us would occasionally switch places, and we'd each take turns going down on her -- hopefully leading to an orgasm or two.

Eventually, we would all be naked, and Kathleen would feel all of our naked bodies all over her. A hard cock would eventually find its way to Kathleen's mouth, and maybe another hard cock would enter her pussy. We would continue to tease her for a good, long time and drive her absolutely insane.

I pictured Charlotte getting into a "69" position with Kathleen at some point, and then positioning myself behind Charlotte, so that I can fuck her while Kathleen licks my balls. I imagined cumming inside of Charlotte, and letting Kathleen clean her up.

And I pictured that by the end of a long night of ecstasy, we would all leave the room feeling completely satisfied, and Kathleen would have the birthday memory of a lifetime.

Needless to say, that's not exactly how it went down.

We did go out for drinks. And we did get a hotel room. I let Ron and Charlotte know of my devious plan, and they were both on-board. But when I brought out the blindfold, Kathleen steadfastly refused to wear it, and Ron and Charlotte didn't lend a hand in insisting. So we all just sort of hung out in the room, fully clothed and feeling very awkward, for a long time. We played a silly game to break the ice. Then, after a bit of begging on my part, Kathleen finally wore the blindfold, and the three of us pleasured her for a (too) short while. We then broke out into the usual foursome pairs, and that, too, only lasted a short while before it was all over.

Although it was a fun night, it wasn't exactly what I had planned. But then again, it never is!

Returning from vacation mode

2010-12-13T15:47:00.001-05:00

Everything is different when you're on vacation. The air is warmer. Food tastes better. And sex is more exciting. It has been a tough transition for us since we returned from Cancun. For over two weeks after we returned, we both still felt as though we were "in a funk." We just didn't have any energy whatsoever, and had little desire for sex. After spending an entire week partying until the wee hours of the morning and being sexually charged the entire time, it seemed as though our tanks had been emptied.

Compounding the problem for me was the fact that I had stopped taking my "low-T" medication. I had been on it for two months prior to leaving for Cancun, and I just wasn't certain that it was doing anything for me. Because it costs about $250 a month for this medication, I decided it just wasn't worth the added expense. But it wasn't until I stopped taking this medication that I discovered just how much of a difference it made, both in the amount of energy I have and in my libido.

This latter point was magnified during one unfortunate evening a couple of weeks ago. We had been chatting with Tom and Donna since we returned from Cancun, and decided to meet with them at their place for dinner and some board games. That entire day, I just felt tired. And even though I was excited to see Donna again, I just couldn't get myself "in the mood." But I thought that there was a good chance we would just hang out for some "vanilla fun" on this night, and it wouldn't be an issue. And I felt that if it progressed beyond that, maybe I would get in the mood once things got rolling.

Sure enough, I found myself in bed with Donna later that night. And to my horror, for the first time in months, I just couldn't get aroused. Donna tried everything she could, and I felt so badly for her, but it just wasn't happening on this particular night. After everything I've been through over the past year, I had thought that this particular problem was a thing of the past. So I was more than a little bummed to discover that this recurring nightmare had reared its ugly head once again.

I immediately scheduled a blood test, and I'm hoping that the results show a low enough testosterone level that my insurance will help pay for the medication. In the meantime, we met with Tom and Donna once again this past weekend. Again, I thought we would only be having "vanilla" fun, but again I was wrong.

After spending the evening dancing and flirting, we decided to drive back to their place. It was really late at night (or really early in the morning, depending on your perspective.) By the time we arrived, it was 2:00am. Donna and I headed out to the hot tub, while Kathleen and Tom made out in their kitchen. Donna and I made out for awhile, and when I stood up I was relieved to discover that I had a raging hard-on. Donna gave me a nice blowjob for awhile, but it was too cold to stand for too long, so we eventually moved the party indoors.

When we opened the door, we discovered that Kathleen and Tom had moved their party as well. We eventually found them in the upstairs bedroom. As soon as I turned the corner, the vision that greeted me was Kathleen on all fours, moaning with delight as Tom pounded her from behind. No matter how many times I have seen this in the past, it always shocks and excites me.

Donna and I then positioned ourselves beside them on the bed. This is by far my least-favorite alignment, where two couples do it side-by-side on the same bed. It is just far too distracting to me. In all of our time swinging, I have only been able to successfully do it this way once or twice before -- and I really didn't need that added distraction, given the problems I was having.

Sure enough, that self-fulfilling prophecy led to more problems on my side of the bed. After going down on Donna for awhile, it was her turn to reciprocate. I stood on the floor, facing Kathleen and Tom (probably a poor decision in retrospect), while Donna went down on me, with little success. She then asked me to lie down, and continued to suck me. Meanwhile, Kathleen and Tom were doing sexual gymnastics on the other side of the bed, fucking, sucking and fingering in numerous positions. As Donna valiantly continued to attempt to make me hard, I watched as Kathleen straddled Tom and eagerly fucked him like a pro.

Without warning, I immediately felt like I was going to cum. So I had to stop Donna in the middle of her activity -- even though I wasn't fully erect. She looked at me very strangely, and I whispered that I needed a minute. She gave me just that -- a minute -- before she continued. And after only about a minute more, I had to stop her again.

After stopping her a third time, I had finally become hard enough to fuck her. So we switched places, and I eased my cock into her pussy, savoring that exquisite moan of pleasure from her. I tried my best to block out what was happening to my right, and focus on the task at hand. But after only a few minutes, I felt that dreaded wave building inside me once again, and had to force myself to stop. After taking a moment to collect myself, I switched positions slightly, and began fucking her once again, with her legs held high, nearly wrapping around my shoulders.

After what seemed to be only a minute or two, I felt that wave building again. And this time, there was no stopping it. So I pulled out and came all over her belly. Tom and Kathleen, meanwhile, were still going at it on the other side of the bed, so Donna and I left them alone and headed downstairs. We each went to the restroom, got a bottle of water, and headed to the couch. By this time, it was about 2:45am.

We chatted for a long time about various topics -- all the while listening to the sounds of loud moaning and pounding of flesh coming from upstairs. Every once in awhile the noise would end, and we expected to see the two of them make their way downstairs. But then it would pick up again. And again. And again.

3:00 passed. Then 3:15. By 3:30, Kathleen and Tom had been at it for more than 90 minutes, and I felt myself becoming irritated. For one thing, it was late, and I just wanted to get to bed. For another, I knew that after having sex for so long, Kathleen would be out of commission for days (if not a week or more) afterward. But mostly, I was irritated that I hadn't spent 90 minutes fucking Kathleen combined in the four weeks since we returned from Cancun.

I hate to be one of those guys who thinks, "why does she do things with other guys that she won't do with me?" I understand the concept of putting your best foot forward when you're with a new person. After all, we clean our house from floor to ceiling when we have new guests over, right? But for some reason, this one rubbed me the wrong way. Kathleen had spent the past four weeks telling me she was too tired and not in the mood for sex. Yet, here she was at 3:30 in the morning, going at it like a porn star for 90 minutes with another guy.

We've talked about it since then, and I understand why she did it. She thought he was "close" several times, and didn't want to keep him hanging. She didn't realize how late it was. She had a little too much to drink. I'm good with all of that. But eventually, it needs to be my turn to be #1 on her priority list. When we first started swinging, we always took time to "reconnect" afterward, and it was usually the best sex we've ever had. We haven't done that recently, for various reasons. When Kathleen is fully recovered, I'm going to want my own time with her. Just me and her, one-on-one, for at least an hour. It's been a long time since we've enjoyed some real "quality time" together, and I think we're long overdue.

Desire, Part Four

2010-11-19T15:42:00.000-05:00

In the afternoon on our next-to-last day at the resort, the group we were traveling with held its annual get-together party in the disco. One of the many games played at this party involves handing every guy an envelope filled with four $500 bills in play money. It is then the girls' job to collect as much money as she can -- any way she can -- in order to bid on various auction items throughout the night. The only rules are that you can't steal any money, and the men can't give any money to their wives. As we soon discovered, the most popular way for the ladies to collect this money was to give blowjobs.

After standing around for awhile, feeling like a jackass, Lauren approached me and offered me a blowjob. Having never said no to a blowjob, I obliged. We found a bed in the corner of the room, and she practically pushed me onto my back, yanked down my boxers and started to work on me. As she did so, it was no surprise at all to see C.B. pushing his way next to me so that he could receive the same treatment from Kathleen.

While that was happening, another woman decided to get into the action, and the two of them went to work on C.B.. When Lauren was finished, I handed her a $500 bill, and the woman who had been working with Kathleen next to me shifted over to my side of the bed. And let me tell you...that girl had skills!

I thanked the mystery woman, whose name I hadn't even learned yet, and handed her a $500 bill. I ended up giving another $500 to Lauren a little later when she made out with me a little bit. (I could feel C.B.'s eyes burning a hole through me, and I didn't want him to think she was doing it for free.) And, with one bill remaining, I saw the mystery girl standing on the other side of the room. I caught her eye, and playfully waved my last bill in the air. She smiled, and we returned to the corner of the room, where her husband watched with great pride as she continued to work me over.

Meanwhile, I saw Kathleen give a couple of BJ's to various men we had met throughout the week. She seemed to really enjoy being a little "slut" for the afternoon, and I thoroughly enjoyed watching her do it!

By the time we reached our final day, we found ourselves with a burning need to reconnect as a couple. We decided to spend the entire day simply enjoying each other's company. It began with a nice lunch of freshly-made chicken fajitas out by the pool, and we then moved out to a couple of chairs, where we soaked in as many rays as we could before heading back to the cold autumn dreariness awaiting us at home.

That afternoon, we took turns pleasing each other. Kathleen teased me mercilessly, slowly licking my balls and shaft for an excruciatingly long time until I practically begged her to make me cum. After a short nap, I then returned the favor and sent her over the edge after a lengthy session of teasing and playing.

That evening, we enjoyed a simple Italian meal of pasta and bread, in a nearly empty restaurant, and we chatted, just the two of us. It was perhaps our most romantic moment in a vacation filled with romance. After dinner, we sat by the bar and chatted with some friends for the last time. Kathleen then changed into a "naughty schoolgirl" outfit (the night's theme), which drives me absolutely crazy. We then moved to the disco, where we danced and chatted and flirted with each other, and with the people we had met throughout the week.

It was the perfect ending to a tremendous vacation.

But...there is one story left to tell, and it is both embarrassing and -- in retrospect -- hilarious. When you are vacationing at an all-inclusive resort where the drinks are handed out like water, it is extremely easy to over-imbibe. Kathleen did so on our second night at the resort, and our friends were guilty of the same offense earlier in the week. On our last night, it was my turn, evidently.

Now, when you mix massive amounts of alcohol with an environment filled with sexy, open-minded women, and the clock reads well past midnight, this is a recipe for debauchery. At some point during the night, I realized that Kathleen and I had yet to officially try out the newly-remodeled playroom at the back of the disco. We had been in the room a few times, just to check it out, but other than a quick blowjob (meant to keep me hard and horny), we hadn't had a chance to make proper use of it. I asked Kathleen to go to the playroom with me, but she wanted to head back to our room instead. After a little begging, she finally relented.

We took a spot on the only remaining bed in the playroom, and I undressed while Kathleen remained in her schoolgirl outfit. It was incredibly hot receiving a fantastic blowjob from Kathleen while watching all of the hot action taking place in the room. To my right was a foursome swapping wives. Next to them was a couple fucking and moaning. And next to them were two women really going at it with intensity.

Kathleen was talking dirty to me while sucking my cock, and commenting about the action taking place around the room. Then, after several minutes had passed (far longer than we had planned to be in the room), she asked if I would like to move across the room to get a better view of the two women. I said I was fine where I was, but she insisted we move. So I left my clothes where they were and went to the bed in the far corner of the room, right next to the two women.

What happened next is a bit of a surreal blur, given the amount of alcohol I had consumed, and the extreme sexual intensity in the room at the time. But while Kathleen continued to give me one of her famous expert blowjobs, I felt as though I was on the verge of exploding for what seemed like 5-10 minutes. Then, at some point, I felt movement to my left, and opened my eyes to see a couple making a spot for themselves right next to us.

A naked woman then lay next to me, while her husband positioned his face between her legs. Before long, the two of us were moaning in unison. It was an incredibly sexy moment. At some point, I felt her hand touch mine, so I began to caress her hand, arms, belly, and eventually her tits -- all while Kathleen continued to go down on me. I then noticed Kathleen's hands on the other woman's body, and I was beside myself with ecstasy. I felt like I was going to explode at any moment, but I just couldn't push myself over the edge. Too much alcohol, and too much activity throughout the week.

Eventually, we finally got off the bed, and I made my way to the other end of the room...where I discovered that someone had taken my pants! There were a pair of khaki-colored pants on the floor that were the same color as mine, but a completely different fabric and style, and no belt. The couple that we were with then began talking to us, and we realized at that point that they didn't speak a word of English. I simply looked at the husband and said, "Donde estan mis pantalones?" This cracked up everyone in the room, except for Kathleen, who was seething.

Because my room key was in my pants pocket (along with about $150 in cash), I had to go to the front desk -- in my underwear -- and request a new key. I found a key in the pocket of the other pants, and asked them if they could tell me what room it belonged to, but they claimed it had been de-magnetized. So, after a short wait, Kathleen and I made the trek back to our room.

Roughly three hours later, I awoke with a bit of a hangover, and made my way back to the front desk. As our flight was heading out that morning, I explained that I would like to get my pants back before we leave. For some reason, they were now able to share with me the room number of the other party, so I knocked on their door at around 7:30am. A woman came to the door, looking like death, and I said, "I'm SO sorry to wake you so early...but do you have my pants?"

"Ah," she croaked, "the mystery pants. Just a minute."

We exchanged pants, and we went on our way. Only at Desire!

Desire, Part Three

2010-11-18T14:57:00.001-05:00

After Tom and Donna left, Kathleen and I figured the remainder of our trip would be relatively uneventful. We planned to spend the remaining three days of our vacation simply enjoying each other's company. But, as with most of life's plans, it didn't quite work out as we intended.

On the morning Tom and Donna departed, Kathleen and I had made an appointment for a "sensual massage" with a local woman. Neither of us are really big "massage people," but this woman has received rave reviews on all the web sites, so we decided to give her a shot. Kathleen went first (of course), and I sat patiently for what seemed to be hours (probably no more than 25 minutes) while she received a massage while lying face-down. Kathleen then flipped over, and after a towel was placed over her eyes, the masseuse motioned for me to join her. The two of us then massaged Kathleen's front side simultaneously for another 20 minutes or so.

It was a very thorough massage. No area was left unmassaged, by either me or the professional in the room.

Next, it was my turn, and the process repeated itself. When the time finally came for someone to touch my "happy parts", I felt like I was going to explode. I could definitely tell the difference between my wife's hands and the pro's hands. The pro was using some sort of technique that felt a lot like a blowjob (though I knew it wasn't.) And just as I was about to cum...both women stopped touching me in that area. My dick continued to throb for the next several minutes, and I felt like crying I wanted to finish so badly. But I would remain sexually frustrated throughout the rest of the afternoon and well into the evening. Little did I know that was just the tip of the sexual frustration iceberg that I would encounter on this day.

Our usual daily routine was to head up to the hot tub at around 4:00, as that is when all the action happens. And, as usual, by 5:00 the hot tub was filled to capacity. Prior to leaving for Desire, we joined a Yahoo group for people visiting Desire, which helps to connect a name to a face. While standing in the corner chatting with several couples, we saw a couple we recognized from that group and waved them over. The male half of the couple (we'll call him "C.B.", for reasons I'll later explain) was a tall, sort of nerdy-looking guy who couldn't have been happier to see us. Evidently, he had taken a strong interest in Kathleen after seeing her photos online, and told her so almost immediately. He was friendly and funny, and his happiness for being on vacation was so contagious, we all began to have a little more fun just being around him.

Kathleen generally likes nerdy, outgoing guys, so he seemed to fit her type. And when C.B. waved his wife over to join us, I immediately knew that she was my type. She was a gorgeous woman with beautiful eyes and a great smile. Because she is a dead-ringer for the actress Lauren Graham of the "Gilmore Girls," I'll call her Lauren.

I hadn't said more than a dozen words to Lauren before she asked me if she could do a body shot off of me. Being the naive dork that I am, I didn't realize that women could even do body shots off of men. Nevertheless, I happily agreed. Lauren collected two shots from the bartender, handed one of them to Kathleen, and then instructed me and C.B. to sit on the ledge of the hot tub. Naturally, we did what we were told.

Lauren then whispered something to Kathleen, and the two women placed the shot between the legs of the two men, with Kathleen standing in front of me, and Lauren in front of C.B.. Both women then started licking their husband's cocks, working around the shot glass. They then took the shot in their mouths, without using their hands, tipped their heads back, and drained the shot.

I thought the "body shot" had ended right there, but they had more in store for us. After downing the shot, Kathleen started blowing me, while Lauren took care of C.B. to my left. Once both of us were good and hard, the ladies then announced they were switching. And with about 50 people looking on in amazement (including me), the gorgeous woman I just met moments before began sucking my cock, while Kathleen worked on C.B. at the same time.

Before it got too intense, the "body shot" came to an end, and I thanked Lauren with a hug and a kiss. She then offered me her ample breasts to kiss, so naturally, I complied. Later, the four of us went out to dinner together and enjoyed a really nice meal with great conversation and a little touching and flirting mixed in.

At this point, I felt a bit "dirty" hooking up with another couple so soon after our new friends had just left the resort. But you can't always time these things perfectly, and sometimes things just develop on their own. So I went with it, and since Kathleen seemed to be enjoying herself as well, I figured all was good.

All was good...until later that night, when we met in front of the disco to watch the evening's entertainment. There are several "beds" surrounding the bar area, and the four of us were lounging on one of the beds, soaking in the warm Cancun evening, when Lauren suddenly leaned in and kissed me. As soon as she did so, C.B. looked as though he'd been slapped across the face.

Lauren noticed the look on his face, and the two of them immediately got into a heated discussion at one end of the bed, while Kathleen and I just looked at each other in bewilderment. They eventually worked out their issues, and apologized for bringing drama into our lives. We then moved on to the disco, where Lauren and I continued to flirt, while Kathleen did her best to flirt with C.B., who was now paying close attention to every move Lauren made while virtually ignoring Kathleen.

Several more times throughout the night, C.B. pulled Lauren aside to "talk," while Kathleen and I debated what to do. While we were both willing to take the next step with this couple, we really didn't need all the drama.

Finally, at the end of the night, the four of us went out to the balcony outside of the disco. While Lauren and I kissed and fondled each other at one end of the balcony, Kathleen raised the bar by dropping to her knees and giving C.B. a delicious blowjob! But...even that failed to dissuade him from peering over at his wife. And when he left Kathleen to huddle with his wife yet again, that was the last straw.

Although they asked us to come back to their room, we told them that it would probably be best not to play with the two of them until everyone became a little more comfortable with each other. We bid them good-night, and then went back to our room to have some passionate sex. We continued to run into Lauren and C.B. (or "Cock-Blocker") several more times throughout our trip, but after that night it became a little awkward. The moment had passed, never to be recaptured.

Oddly enough, we saw the two of them with several different couples throughout the next two days, so evidently they overcame whatever issues they were having that night. Although I would have loved to finish what we had started that night, we made the right decision.

Still MORE stories to come...

Desire, Part Two

2010-11-18T09:38:00.001-05:00

For the next several days, Kathleen and I hung out a lot with Donna and Tom. We played cards one day, had dinner together the next two or three nights, and danced in the disco every evening. It just seemed like a natural fit for all of us, so we went with it. Both Kathleen and I were concerned about dominating their time, but when I brought it up to Donna, she practically slapped me and insisted that they were more than okay with hanging out with us.

On our second day together, we once again broke off to have separate-room sex in our rooms during the afternoon. Having become more familiar with Donna's body, I was able to show her a much better time the second time around. She said many incredibly flattering things about me throughout the week, which of course was a major ego boost.

One night (I'm not sure which one, as they all seem to run together), I mentioned that I have never had two women at once. So, Kathleen being the ultimate wing-man, she set me up in the hot tub with an amazing dual blowjob from her and Donna. The two girls then reciprocated by giving Tom the same treatment.

Another night, Kathleen and I left the two of them late at night and suggested they stop by our room before heading to bed. When we got to our room, I went down on Kathleen for awhile, and just seconds after she climaxed, there was a knock on our door. We then proceeded to have the most incredible foursome I've ever had. It has been a LONG time since Kathleen and I played on the same bed with another couple. In the past, the foursomes we've had were more like two twosomes, with each couple paired off on opposite sides of the bed. But the foursome we had with Donna and Tom was more like a free-for-all. Tom and I ganged up on Kathleen. We then ganged up on Donna. Donna and Kathleen then sucked Tom while I fucked Kathleen. Tom then made Kathleen squirt while I fucked Donna. Donna went down on Kathleen, and at one point I even convinced Kathleen to go down on Donna! (Another "first" checked off our list.)

We had the most amazing time with Donna and Tom. But sadly, their vacation came to an end, and we were forced to bid them good-bye. But because they live so near, it is not really "good-bye."

More stories to come...

Desire, Part One

2010-11-18T00:24:00.000-05:00

This whole crazy adventure began a year ago when Kathleen booked a vacation for us to a clothing-optional resort called Desire in Cancun, Mexico, to celebrate our 17th anniversary. So what better way to celebrate our 18th anniversary (and first anniversary as swingers) than to head back to where it all began?

There is nothing like the first time. So no matter how incredible this year's vacation would be for us, we knew it wouldn't match last year's trip. However...there is something to be said for experience. And with a year of swinging experience under our belts, this trip had great potential. Despite all that potential, however, we went into this week-long vacation with an open mind. Recently, we have realized that we have come to the point where we are no longer interested in adding any more notches to our bedpost. We are really happy with the relationships we've established with other couples (and singles), and we really aren't looking for more. But if it happens...we won't complain.

After a VERY early-morning flight into Cancun, we arrived at the Desire resort at around noon. Before we even walked into the front door, a guy walked up to me and asked me a question about tipping. Little did I know at that point, but we would be spending the next four days with that guy and his girlfriend, almost exclusively.

After we checked in and were led up to our room, we headed to the lunch buffet. There, we ran into that same guy and his girlfriend (we'll call them "Tom" and "Donna".) They invited us to sit with them at lunch, and we happily agreed, as they were not only attractive physically, but they both seemed like genuinely nice people.

One of the first questions you ask when you meet new people on vacation is: "where are you from?" And incredibly, it turned out that Tom and Donna live about 20 minutes away from us. So immediately, we all began discussing the various clubs in our area, and people we may know in common. Eventually, we bid each other good-bye. While Tom and Donna went off to their room, Kathleen and I headed off to a couple of chairs by the pool, where we enjoyed our first naked cocktail of the trip.

Desire is unlike any other place on the planet. It is a place where you can truly be yourself, without worrying about judgment from others. It is the type of place where you can caress your wife's naked belly or ass while sitting by the pool without a glance from anyone nearby. After awhile, it becomes second nature to fondle your wife or husband (or someone else) completely out in the open. And it takes quite awhile to adjust to reality once you leave this paradise.

I think that my favorite place in the world just may be the hot tub at Desire, between the hours of 3:00 and 6:00. There is just something about that particular location that is SO exciting. You never know what may happen on any particular night. On this particular night, Kathleen and I were sitting on a couple of stools in the tub, chatting with each other, when we received a note from the bartender, sent from a couple on the other side of the bar. It read, simply: "How about dinner tonight?"

The couple who sent the note was an older couple we had noticed earlier, because they were fully-dressed and seemed a bit out of place. Normally, we wouldn't be drawn to having dinner with them, but since they had asked so sweetly, how could we say no? We gave them the thumbs-up sign, and eventually made our way to where they were sitting. Later that night, we had dinner in the resort's fanciest (our least-favorite) restaurant, engaged in some superficial chit-chat about our families and careers, etc., and eventually bid them good-night.

We headed back to our room and dressed for the disco, which opens at 11:00pm. As we had been awake since 4:00am, we should have been exhausted. But there is something about Desire that allows people to function on very little sleep. Kathleen wore one of her sexiest dresses, and I couldn't have been more proud as we walked through the resort on our way to the disco.

When we arrived, we ran into Tom and Donna once again. Kathleen (as she always seems to do) took the lead, and began flirting with Tom as we drank and danced throughout the night. As the night progressed, and the drinks continued to flow, Kathleen became more and more flirty. Meanwhile, I was having trouble reading Donna, so I just played my usual game of waiting for some signal before proceeding to the next level.

At some point during the night, I saw Kathleen and Tom duck into the playroom at the back of the disco. This is one of two areas of the resort where public sex is allowed, so naturally I wondered what the two of them were doing. After a few minutes had passed, I couldn't take it anymore, and headed to the playroom myself. I cracked open the door and saw Kathleen on one of the elevated beds giving head to Tom. I sort of nodded to Tom and smiled, letting him know I was okay with it, and then shut the door.

"Well," I thought, "now it's on."

So, I went in search of Donna. I found her standing near the bar, with her back turned toward me. So I crept up behind her, wrapped my arms around her, caressed her belly and thighs, and kissed her neck. She turned around, and we kissed like a couple of teenagers. When she came up for breath, she asked where Kathleen and Tom had gone. Before I could even answer, she said, "they went to the playroom, didn't they?" "Well...yeah," I said, hesitantly (as I wasn't sure how she'd handle that.)

"Let's go," she said, and pulled me by the hand into the playroom.

When we entered the room, I realized that the woman giving head to the guy on the elevated bed was not, in fact, Kathleen. In fact, Kathleen and Tom were simply standing in the center of the room, merely watching the action. The four of us stood there for a minute, a bit awkwardly, and then headed back into the disco. We then spent the next hour or so dancing, flirting, kissing and making out.

After awhile, someone suggested we head up to the hot tub, and we all happily agreed. We all stripped out of our disco clothes and entered the hot tub completely naked. Aside from two other couples huddled at the opposite end of the tub, we were the only ones there. Donna and I sat on two of the barstools, while Kathleen and Tom huddled together on the opposite wall.

I leaned in next to Donna and made out with her for awhile, and she responded by slowly reaching beneath the water to grab my cock. After a very short time, I was fully aroused. We were kissing all the while, but eventually she moved away from me and toward my cock. I complied by kneeling on the bar stool, and she gave me an incredible blowjob in the hot tub.

Meanwhile, I couldn't help but turn my head to see what was happening on the other side of the tub. And there was Kathleen with her mouth wrapped around Tom's cock. It had been awhile since I'd seen Kathleen suck a cock, and it was incredibly exciting to me. I must have been too excited, because Donna abruptly stopped.

Earlier in the evening -- while we were dancing in the disco -- the subject of separate-room swapping somehow came up. So, while we sat in the hot tub, completely aroused, the subject arose once again. We eventually decided as a group to play in separate rooms for the night. I then led Donna to our room, leaving Kathleen and Tom in the hot tub.

Once we reached our room, it was almost surreal. We both stripped naked and attacked each other on our bed. While it was incredibly sexy, it was also a bit light-hearted and fun, as we laughed and chatted the entire time. After going down on each other, we began to fuck. And though neither of us climaxed (well...she claimed to have climaxed, but I still don't believe her), we had a really great, fun and sexy time together.

As for Kathleen and Tom...it goes without saying that Kathleen performed her best "tricks" for him, including deepthroating his cock and swallowing his cum. As for Tom, his best trick is making a woman squirt -- a trick he performed for Kathleen that night, and for several nights thereafter.

More to cum in Part Two...

Ron & Charlotte: Take Three

2010-11-01T15:44:00.000-04:00

After a year of swinging and experimenting, Kathleen and I have sort of settled into a groove. We enjoy having our separate playmates (Linda for me, Ron and Felix for her), and we love hanging out with Ron and Charlotte as a foursome whenever possible. Last night was one of those rare opportunities.

We met with them early and Charlotte prepared a nice dinner for the four of us. And later that night, we found ourselves in a familiar arrangement: Charlotte and I on the couch, and Kathleen and Ron on the love seat. We began making out with each other, and after a lot of kissing and heavy petting, Charlotte began to remove my jeans. Just then, Ron announced that he was taking Kathleen to his office.

I should note at this point that Ron and Kathleen had discussed trying separate-room swapping for weeks leading up to this night, and we all agreed we would give it a try. Kathleen and Ron love to talk dirty to each other, and with all four of us in the same room, it just doesn't work out very well.

As soon as Ron made his announcement, Charlotte suggested they head to their bedroom instead. She then asked me if I would like to go to the "other bedroom." I didn't realize until we got there that the "other bedroom" was her kid's room! Needless to say, that was a bit awkward...but I blocked it out of my mind as best as possible.

Charlotte and I continued to make out on the bed, and before I even had her pants off, I could hear the bed springs squealing from the room next door. In the past, I've always finished well ahead of Ron, so I wanted to pace myself a little better this time. I went down on Charlotte for a good, long time, and I could sense that she was right on the edge of orgasm. But for some reason, I couldn't quite push her over that edge.

I then knelt next to her and put my dick in her mouth, fingering her pussy while she expertly sucked my cock. It felt so incredible, I didn't want to stop. But again...I had to pace myself. For the next several minutes, we fucked in a couple of different positions. And after about 15 minutes, I was exhausted. I climbed next to her in bed and explained that I needed a few minutes to catch my breath. She then responded in a surprising way, kissing her way down to my dick, and taking me into her mouth.

After only a few minutes, I could feel myself on the brink of orgasm. So I gave her a warning, telling her I was going to come. She continued sucking, so I gave her one more warning before exploding in her mouth. She wasted not a single drop, sucking me dry. She continued to suck until my dick stopped throbbing, and then climbed up next to me in bed.

The door to their bedroom still hadn't opened, so we just kissed and cuddled for a minute or two. I then said, "Well, that's not fair. I got to finish, but you didn't!" I told her I thought she was SO close, and she explained that she was...but she didn't want to cum. I asked her why, and she explained that once she cums, she is usually done for the night, and she didn't want to end it so quickly.

"Well...", I said, "I'm done now...so now you can finish, right?"

Before she could answer, I was diving back between her legs. Just as she began to moan loudly, their bedroom door opened, and I could hear Kathleen and Ron whispering in the hallway. But I didn't care. I was on a mission. Several minutes later, Charlotte's moaning became more intense, and I could tell that she was right there on the edge. I continued doing exactly what I was doing with my tongue until I could feel her shudder with an intense orgasm.

As for what happened next door, maybe Kathleen will post something about that. All I know is that I had a great time!

Entertaining company

2010-10-26T15:16:00.000-04:00

There are so many things Kathleen and I are doing today that we were adamantly opposed to when we first began swinging. Hosting another couple at our house was definitely one of those things that we originally insisted we would never do, for a variety of reasons. And yet, last night, there we were breaking yet another one of our original "rules."

Although I've been out on two "dates" with Linda (and her ubiquitous chaperon, Bob) since our first sexual encounter, both dates were "vanilla", as circumstances prevented us from hooking up. It's all well and good with me, as I enjoy going out on the weekends, and the two of them (and their friends) are a lot of fun to hang out with. But both Kathleen and Bob really get off on it when the two of us are together, and they were growing very impatient waiting for that to happen again. Given that the next few weekends will be busy for us, I decided to invite Bob and Linda over to our house last night.

As excited as Kathleen was for me and Linda to be together again, I was equally excited. But on top of that, I was really looking forward to Kathleen being with Bob. After so many months of listening to Bob brag about his wife, I wanted him to experience just how awesome Kathleen is. I know, it's not a contest...but I'm so proud of my wife, and I love showing her off.

Bob and Linda arrived at around 8:30, and the four of us played pool while chatting and occasionally flirting. By the time our kids were in bed, we had moved to the livingroom, where we watched some TV while all four of us sat on the couch -- me sitting next to Linda, and Kathleen (always the instigator) sitting on Bob's lap.

By 10:30, Bob evidently couldn't contain himself any longer, and boldly asked when I was going to take Linda up to our bedroom. I just looked at Linda and laughed. "I guess it's time for me to show you the rest of the house, huh?," I said. I then led her up to our bedroom, leaving Kathleen and Bob alone on the couch.

Although the first time with a new person is always hot, I have to say my second time with Linda was quite a bit more enjoyable than the first. She was much more relaxed, a little less drunk, a little more demonstrative, and really seemed to enjoy being with me. We spent over an hour sucking, fucking, kissing and fondling.

I had set up a signal with Kathleen prior to heading upstairs, and asked her to turn on the hallway light when she was done with Bob, so that I knew it was safe for us to leave the room. After more than an hour, the light was still off, and I assumed Kathleen and Bob were having as much fun as we were. Eventually, I couldn't hold back any longer, and came inside Linda, completely filling her. I had mentioned to Linda earlier in the night that it was my "mission" to make her cum that night. And to my surprise, when I finished, she looked at me and said, "mission accomplished!" I didn't believe her at first, but she insisted that she, too, had finished. In prior conversations with Bob, he had mentioned that Linda hadn't ever been able to cum with another man, so this was quite the proud moment for me!

The hallway light was still off at this point, so Linda and I just lay next to each other, talking, kissing and touching. Then, quite unexpectedly, she started kissing her way back down to my cock. At my ripe old age, I usually need at least 20-30 minutes to recover, but I found myself getting a bit aroused. Linda then excused herself to our bathroom, and when she returned, I returned the favor by kissing my way down to her pussy. Just as I reached it, though, the hallway light flickered on.

I just looked at Linda and we both laughed. "I'm not ready to leave yet," I said. "So don't," she responded. I continued to lick and suck her pussy, experimenting with several different techniques until I found one to which she responded. (Note: Linda is extremely tough to read, and is extremely quiet in bed, so getting ANY sort of response from her at all was a major accomplishment.)

Once I found that spot, I continued to hit it over and over until finally, she pulled me up and announced, "I'm done." I thought she meant that she had had enough, and was ready to leave the room. But she really meant that she had finished -- again! At this point, my ego couldn't have been any bigger, so we dressed and left the room.

Later that evening, Kathleen and I went over our usual "post-game summary", and she told me that she worked on Bob all evening, but he wasn't able to get aroused at all. She even brought out her Halloween costume (an unbelievably sexy "naughty schoolgirl" outfit) and wore it for him. But nothing she tried worked, and nothing he did for her worked well, either. So, unfortunately, that part of the evening didn't go as planned. But having been in Bob's shoes a number of times, I can definitely relate to what he was going through.

The perfect end to the evening came when I asked Kathleen to wear her schoolgirl outfit again for me, and I got to raise that little plaid skirt and fuck her from behind until she came for me. Yep...it was a very good night.

State of Our Union Address

2010-10-25T11:16:00.000-04:00

Exactly one year ago today, we created this blog with the intention of chronicling our journey through this insane notion of opening our marriage. So much has happened since then that it seems like a lifetime ago. 53 weeks ago, I never could have imagined in my wildest dreams – and I do mean WILDEST dreams – how radically our lives and our relationship were about to change. Fortunately, all of that change has been for the better.

Through 17 years of marriage, I thought I knew my wife pretty well. We always communicated very well with each other, and I honestly thought that there was nothing about her that I didn’t already know. But, man was I wrong. Over the past year, Kathleen has changed so dramatically. She now radiates with confidence, and that confidence is absolutely intoxicating. She suddenly seems to realize just how beautiful she is, and how desirable she is in so many ways. As a result, she has become a magnet for male attention. Everywhere she goes, she becomes the center of attention. And she soaks it all in like a sponge. Her personality has changed so profoundly, it amazes me that our friends and family haven’t questioned what brought on this change. If only they knew.

And if only I had known 53 weeks ago what it would take to turn my wife into this ultra-dirty, hyper-sexual slut! For 17 years, I wondered what it would be like to be with a woman who loves sex as much as I do, who is enthusiastic and eager to talk about (and do!) dirty things in and out of the bedroom, to experiment, to fulfill every fantasy and create new fantasies we never even knew we had. I had no clue that this fantasy woman was right beside me, lying in our bed every night for the past 17 years.

In terms of our swinging activities, we have come SO far upstream from where we began, it is a little frightening to imagine where we may be a year from now. When I think about the apprehension and concerns we had when we first started out, I can’t help but laugh a little. I vividly remember the first time we talked about the possibility of swinging, sitting in that restaurant in the mall, whispering to each other, because we were discussing things that were SO scandalous…and thoroughly loving the fact that we shared this amazing secret that NO ONE would ever suspect.

I remember meeting with our swinger friends before we had ever dared to venture into that titillating world of fantasy, and grilling them with questions in a dimly-lit bar, so afraid of being overheard by those around us. I vividly remember our first trip to Desire, and everything that happened during those five amazing days. I remember the first time I saw my wife stroking another man’s cock while standing in the hot tub during our very first day at Desire. And I remember being so overwhelmed with anxiety and emotions that I could barely make it through our first encounter with another couple.

I remember sharing a bed with that couple, watching my wife take another man’s cock in her mouth, watching him pound her with her legs held high, and watching him cum all over her face…and surprising myself with the fact that I was completely okay with it. More than okay, really. It was the biggest turn-on I had ever experienced!

Two days later, we met “The Bald Guy,” who made out with Kathleen in the hot tub while I tried my best to be nonchalant. That “Kathleen sandwich” we made later that night was the highlight of the trip for her. And it was incredibly naughty to rush into the playroom with them and have sex with these people we had just met – in a room filled with other couples having sex.

I remember our first trip to a “swinger’s club,” when we sat at the bar and looked in amazement at all the other couples who seemed to have it all figured out. Then, there was that disastrous encounter with “Jay” and “Kate”, when we rented a hotel room, and I discovered that my dick had a mind of its own. At the time, I thought it was the end of swinging for us. But fortunately, I got past it.

Next was our encounter with Gina and Ron – the first couple we met on Adult FriendFinder. They were so cool, so funny, and put us at ease. Our transition from polite chit-chat to full-swap sex was a bit awkward, to say the least, but we had a good time with them, and they were just what we needed at the time.

After four months in the “lifestyle,” we felt we were finally ready to attend our first house party. Unfortunately, the crowd we found at our first party wasn’t exactly “our type.” But Kathleen found a couple of guys she liked, and we ended up having a really fun and erotic mini-gangbang – yet another item checked off of our bucket list.

That party led to another. And that’s where we met “Tracie and Bobby,” who became somewhat regular fuck-buddies. At that same party, we had a brief, yet VERY hot encounter with a “BBC”, who allowed us (well, me) to check another item off of our bucket list.

In July, we finally met that couple that every swinger couple hopes to meet: the type of couple where both sets of spouses are attracted to the other, all are on the same page, and all get along well enough to get together on a regular basis, both inside and outside of the bedroom. True “friends with benefits.” I had my doubts about “Ron and Charlotte” at first, but they have proven to be our dream couple in terms of compatibility. It’s a friendship that I hope continues for many years.

At some point in our little “experiment,” we dipped our toes into the realm of separate swapping. It is not something we ever planned to do at the onset of this journey, but once we did it, we knew there was no turning back. Our very first experiment with solo play was when Kathleen visited Felix at his office to give him the blowjob of his life. When I think back on all the experiences we’ve had over the past year, for some reason this one sticks out to me as the hottest of them all. Of course, she has since made a few more visits to Felix’s office, and has begun to experiment with a “dom/sub” relationship – a relationship that I’m sure will provide many erotic stories on this blog over the coming year.

That first experience with Felix led to much soul-searching on my part and many conversations over the next several days. One result of those conversations was our first separate-room experience with Tracie and Bobby at yet another house party. Once we opened that door, there was no turning back. Kathleen soon found another solo playmate in her co-worker “Ron,” and I eventually found my own solo playmate in “Linda." We also had a brief encounter with school teacher “Lucas,” which provided our first experience where one of us played while the other watched (and video-taped.)

We have enjoyed so many incredible experiences in just one year’s time, it is difficult to imagine what lies ahead of us. I can’t even describe the happiness I feel today. It is unlike anything I have ever experienced. I feel so incredibly close to Kathleen, and so secure in our love for each other. I truly feel like the luckiest man on the planet. And I owe it all to swinging. Who knew?

Getting comfortable

2010-10-24T17:23:00.001-04:00

When I first started getting together with Ron, I wrestled with the idea of having sex with another guy while my husband Joe stayed at home with the kids. I felt a sense of guilt that he wasn't having the same experiences. Well, that all changed when he met Linda. He has since taken Linda on as his regular playmate and neither of us could be any happier about it. Of course, now that I don't feel guilty about my boy toy, I haven't seen Ron in what seems like FOREVER! Somehow, we keep missing each other. We finally made plans to get together after work today. It seemed like the longest day ever! I had a dirty smile on my face all day because I had a little secret. I knew that in just a matter of hours, I would be naked and would be having a lot of naughty fun with my playmate.

When work was finally over, I made my way to his apartment. I let myself in and found him laying on the couch with a comforter on all comfy and cozy. I walked over to him and was met with a welcome kiss. After a brief hello, I went to the bathroom to take my work clothes off. I didn't feel like putting my jeans on, so I walked out into his living room naked and proceeded to snuggle up next to him under the comforter. A minute or two and a really hot kiss later, we went to the bedroom where the fun began.

We kissed and fondled and groped each other for a while. The anticipation of what was about to happen was very hot. I made my way down and sucked his rock hard cock for a little while. I didn't want to stay down there for too long, because I didn't want our fun to end too soon. When it was my turn, he flipped me over on my back and began to lick and suck and work his magic. That just about put me over the edge. Let me just say again, Ron has a magic touch. I seriously think that he was born to give a woman oral. I could instantly feel waves of pleasure taking over my entire body.

I flipped over and then went down on Ron again. I was pleased to find that he was still rock hard. I knew for certain that he was having a good time as well. I heard Ron tell me to turn around. I was confused for a minute, but then I realized that he wanted to 69. I complied and once again found myself being brought to a level of pleasure where I couldn't possibly concentrate on Ron's cock any longer. I decided to get off and straddle him.

We started kissing once again, but by now, I was at the point of no return. I needed to be fucked, and I needed it right then. I positioned myself in such a way so that Ron's eager cock could enter me. I slowly started to grind my hips, so I could savor the feeling of him inside me. When I picked the pace up a bit, I heard Ron say that he was going to cum. Hearing him say that was very hot, and I once again felt myself being brought to the brink of orgasm. I started to grind faster and very shortly afterward, we both came in unison. We then collapsed next to each other and just stayed that way for a while enjoying the fact that we had both brought each other a lot of pleasure.

Felix

2010-10-06T16:50:00.000-04:00

Well, it's been a long time since I have even heard from Felix. That's how things go in the lifestyle. People have real lives that they must tend to. All of this playtime is fun, but life does get in the way, and that's OK with me.

I was online today and actually got an instant message from Felix. He told me he has been very busy, but he is still interested in getting together for some naughty fun. He again asked me if I would be willing to give becoming his sub a try. I have never done anything like that before, and am intrigued by it, so I told him that yes, I would try it out.

Felix then told me to go to an adult store and buy a toy and bring it to him. I quickly took a shower, then went to the adult store near my house. Unfortunately, they didn't have much of a selection. I went to his office anyways and told him that I struck out, but not to worry, I would do some online shopping tonight. He got up and pulled my pants down to my calves and told me to bend over his desk. He then gave my ass a slap and started to finger-fuck me. He told me that was my reward for doing as he asked. It felt so good. I started to moan. He asked me "you like that - don't you?" I replied "yes." That was met with a "yes...WHAT?" Now, I didn't know what to say, so stupidly, I said "Yes....It does." Apparently, that wasn't the answer that he was looking for. He told me that since I am his sub slut now, he wants me to call him master. I then said "yes, master," and giggled a small bit, because I felt a little bit silly, and stupid that I didn't catch on earlier as to what he wanted me to say. That was met with a slap on the ass and him telling me that I needed a lot of training. He asked me if I was going to cum, I told him that I was so close, but I couldn't. He told me that I need to work on that, and that I should be able to cum when he tells me to. This struck me as odd. Is it possible to cum on demand? Can people really do that?

After it became painfully obvious that I wasn't going to be able to finish, Felix commented that he really needed to get back to work and that I should get dressed. I did, and when I was finished, I tried to put my arms around him and give him a quick kiss. This was met with him telling me to stop. He said that I wasn't TOLD that I could kiss him and that I have not EARNED that right. He must have seen my face drop, because he then smiled and told me that since I DID go to the store, and since I DID come to visit him, I should be rewarded. He then told me to get down on my knees so I could suck his cock. He told me that it was going to be really quick, but that I could suck it. He pushed my head down onto his shaft and told me to hold it there. I took my mouth off of him and told him that I wouldn't be able to hold it there because he was deep into my throat and I wouldn't be able to breathe. He told me to just do it and pushed my head down again. He said I'm going to cum and you are going to swallow until I'm finished. He then proceeded to cum! I didn't DO anything! I've never met anyone who could cum at will. It was THE strangest thing! I swallowed just as he had told me. He then zipped up his pants and said his goodbyes. I still didn't get a kiss. He told me on the way out the door that he would catch me online tomorrow afternoon. He expects me to tell him all about the toy that I purchased for him.

This could be an interesting week.

My experience as the "other guy"

2010-10-03T23:14:00.000-04:00

Two weeks ago, I made plans to meet Linda and her husband (we'll call him "Bob") at a bar near their home. At the last minute, however, Bob called to tell me that Linda would not be able to make it. He asked if I could meet him at the bar for a beer or two, just so we could finally meet in person, and I agreed. We met as planned, and after about an hour, he called Linda and asked if he could bring me by the house to say hello. (I must have passed whatever test he was giving me.)

When we arrived at their house, it was a bit of an awkward situation. (Having been in "the hobby" for almost a year now, however, I've grown accustomed to awkward situations.) Their nine-year-old son was playing video games in their living room, just a few feet away from their kitchen, where all the adults were gathered. There was no way I was going to do any sort of flirting with Linda with her kid in the next room, so I sat across from her at their kitchen table. My only goal for the night was to make some sort of eye contact with her and make some sort of connection. Just a smile or a knowing look would have been enough to satisfy me. But by the end of the night, I hadn't received a single indicator that Linda was interested in me at all, and I drove home a bit dejected.

At that point, I began to question the entire setup. Maybe Linda didn't even know who I was. Maybe Bob hadn't told her. Maybe he told her, but she wanted nothing to do with the situation. I really had some serious doubts. But Bob insisted later that night, and throughout the week, that Linda was interested in me. And for reasons that even she probably couldn't explain, Kathleen was certainly interested in getting the two of us together. So when Bob asked me to meet them again last night, I agreed.

I showered and dressed at around 7:30 last night, and at 8:30, I kissed a practically giddy Kathleen good-night and headed out for my first solo "date." It was the first solo date I'd had since Kathleen and I first dated 19 years ago. Although I felt excited and a bit nervous, I was also more than a bit uncertain about the direction this night was heading. I had chatted online with Linda the day before, and it merely reinforced my suspicion that she had no real interest in me, other than using me as a tool to fulfill her husband's fantasy. While I have to admit the idea of being used as a "tool" in anyone's fantasy is pretty cool, I'd also like to feel like a desirable person!

I walked into the bar at around 9:00, and waited about 15 minutes for Bob and Linda to arrive. We all sat at a table in the middle of a very noisy bar. I let the two of them ahead of me to see what sort of seating arrangement they would devise, and noticed that Bob took a seat across from Linda. So I then sat in the chair to her left. And for the next hour or so, we exchanged casual chit-chat, punctuated by somewhat long, awkward silences.

By the time we all ordered our second drink, Linda began to loosen up a little. She asked me a few questions about myself, and we tried to find some common interests. (Note: aside from our shared interest in sex, there really aren't any.) Finally, after awhile longer, I figured it was time to put an end to the silliness, just make a move, and see how she responds. As we continued to talk, I casually placed my hand on her knee, and began to slowly caress her thigh. And with great relief, Linda responded by stroking her fingers along my back.

Another hour (and another round of drinks) passed, and Bob excused himself to the restroom, leaving me and Linda alone for a moment. I took that opportunity to turn her toward me and softly kissed her. She responded very enthusiastically -- as if she had been waiting for me to kiss her all night. When Bob returned to the table, he was very happy to see that we had (finally) made a connection.

For the next hour or two, Linda and I continued to make out, and I was getting increasingly aroused. By the time we left, Linda was practically sitting in my lap, kissing me passionately while her hand was massaging my cock through my pants. As we were in the middle of a bar, it was incredibly inappropriate...but oh, so hot!

We couldn't get out of there quickly enough, and practically raced back to their house, where Linda greeted me in their driveway with another big kiss. As soon as I walked through their front door, she sat me down on a kitchen chair, sat on my lap and continued our make-out session. The problem was, Linda's elderly mother was still awake, and her room was just across the hall! I mentioned this to Linda, and she didn't seem to care. But even I have to draw a line somewhere!

Luckily, Bob came to my rescue and convinced Linda to take me into their bedroom. She led me into the room and shut the door, leaving us in complete darkness. I couldn't see my hand in front of my face, but I could feel Linda practically devouring me. I felt around for the bed, and managed to get her on her back. After making out for awhile longer, fully clothed, I took off her pants and slowly lowered myself down her body. I then began to slowly and gently lick her pussy. After several minutes, I had just reached her clit when I heard a knock at the door.

It was her mother!

Now...I'm 40 years old, and I've been married for almost 18 years. Yet, there I was last night, diving under a bed in the pitch-black darkness so as not to be discovered by someone's mom. It was surreal.

Linda talked to her mother through the door for a moment, assuring her that everything was normal. But talk about a boner-killer! I had some serious reservations about continuing, but Linda insisted that it was fine. So back I went, starting all over from scratch, working my way down from Linda's lips, to her neck, to her thighs, and up to her clit.

Bob had warned me that Linda is really quiet in bed, and he wasn't lying. Not only was she quiet, but her body language gave nothing away. I tried several different methods and tricks on her, but nothing seemed to get a reaction. Eventually, we switched places, and Linda went down on me, returning me to full hardness.

After spending not nearly enough time sucking my cock (IMHO), Linda hopped on top and guided me into her soaking-wet pussy. She seemed to enjoy being on top, but it's not one of my favorite positions. I like to be in control. So I sat up, hugged her around her shoulders, and flipped her over to her back. I then began fucking her very slowly and deeply, and she seemed to respond very nicely. It felt incredible.

I alternated between slow and fast, gentle and hard, trying to gauge her reaction. But again, it was difficult to read her. So finally, I came right out and asked, "Do you like it gentle or hard?" She didn't answer. So I asked her again: "Do you want me to fuck you slowly...or fast and hard?" After a few more beats, I heard the faintest whisper: "hard."

That was all I needed to hear. I began pounding her with all I had, lifting her legs into the air to get deeper with each thrust. But we were now making a bit of noise, and with her mother right next door, I was terrified that there would be another knock on the door at any moment. So I stopped and flipped Linda over onto all fours, somehow hoping it would make less noise. But between the bed springs and the sound of my hips slamming into her ass, that position wasn't working, either.

Either Linda was thinking the same thing, or she was getting tired. Because the next thing I knew, I was being pushed onto my back once again, and Linda returned to sucking my cock. After several minutes, I felt the inevitable surge of release building up. But she then stopped, and climbed on top of me once again. And after several more minutes, she directed us to switch places. I was right on the edge at this point, and I told her so. She didn't seem fazed, so I began pumping harder and faster until I finally exploded inside her.

I then noticed that it was 1:35am, and I had told Kathleen I would be home by 2:00. So I quickly dressed, apologized for fucking and running, kissed Linda one last time, and sneaked past her mom's room as quietly as possible.

It was incredibly fun, exciting and erotic being the "other guy" for once. I never really thought I'd have the opportunity to be the guy who helps a couple fulfill their fantasy. And Kathleen's libido has been super-charged ever since we set up this little date, so I know she's happy. As for me, I haven't quite wrapped my head around it just yet. It all seems like a dream. A wonderful, crazy dream. Kathleen and Bob are already pushing for our next date, so it seems a fait accompli. If nothing else, it's nice to know the option exists. I just don't want it to become such a regular thing that it loses its "specialness." As always, we'll take things as they come and do what feels right.

Linda

2010-09-25T01:23:00.000-04:00

Way back (seemingly a lifetime ago) when Kathleen and I first discussed the possibility of entering into the hobby, Kathleen mentioned that it was her ultimate goal to one day get to the point where she could send me off to have fun with another woman. Kathleen's thought process at the time was that it would be nice to have the luxury of "outsourcing" whenever she wasn't in the mood, or was too tired to give me her full attention. And the mere thought of doing so was a huge turn-on for her.

In the past year, however, it hasn't been our primary focus to find a playmate for me -- in part, because we have learned it is far too difficult. At first, we focused most of our energy on finding a compatible couple to play with. Then, we discovered that it is very easy to find single men for Kathleen to play with. And along the way, we sort of lost track of her original fantasy.

Recently, however, I decided (with some prompting from Kathleen) to reach out to a married couple that advertised themselves as having a desire to share the wife (we'll call her "Linda.") This couple responded to that initial inquiry, and we've been exchanging e-mails, pictures, instant messages and phone calls for the past couple of weeks. Tomorrow, I plan to meet with this couple for the first time. And unfortunately, Kathleen won't be able to come with me.

Needless to say, I'm a little anxious about this meeting. I am anxious, yet really excited. I love the idea of being the guy who can fulfill not only this couple's fantasy, but also Kathleen's. And by doing so, I'd be fulfilling my own fantasy. So it seems like a win-win-win-win all around.

I have no idea what will happen tomorrow night. Will I be attracted to Linda? Will she be attracted to me? Will we share some sort of connection during the night? Or will it be awkward? I can't even imagine flirting with another woman without Kathleen being there. It just seems so weird and wrong to me. But I know it's more than okay with her, so I just need to let go of my inhibitions and enjoy myself. Of course, I've learned many times over the past year that doing so is much easier said than done.

Latin Flavor

2010-09-23T18:44:00.000-04:00

Well, it's been a long time since I've met with Ron. I have to say that a "lunch date" was seriously overdue. We had been sending each other messages every now and then saying that we need to get together, but there was always some reason why we couldn't commit. That is, until yesterday. I got a message from Ron that simply said MAYBE THIS THURSDAY...plan it. Yep. I know. It's strange, but that somehow got to me. So, with less than one day's notice, I planned it.

I left work about a half hour before Ron did. I picked up some sandwiches at Subway, and went to his house. I let myself in, and went to the bathroom to get changed. I wasn't there even 3 minutes when I heard him walk in the door. I quickly finished getting dressed, and went out into the kitchen to meet him. I was greeted with a sly smile and a welcoming hug and kiss. I really had a hard time not giggling at that point, because I had all of these naughty thoughts about what could happen in my mind. We were both pretty hungry, so we grabbed some drinks and set up the sandwiches in the living room. I started eating my sandwich while Ron went in to take a quick shower. When he was finished, he joined me for lunch. Since I had started eating before he did, I was the first to finish. I didn't know what to do with myself, so I sat behind him on the couch and started running my fingers up and down his back. I'm not sure if he enjoyed that, or if I was bothering him while he was eating...he's sometimes very hard for me to read.

When lunch was over, Ron pulled me up on his lap, and we started to make out. He gave the window a couple of nervous glances. I think he may have been worried about someone seeing what was going on. Of course, me being the exhibitionist that I am, I thought it was hot. So, off came my shirt and bra! We kissed and groped each other for a little while longer, and then he laid me down on my back and he removed my shorts. It was then that I discovered why everyone says that Latin guys make great lovers. Ron started to go down on me and he slowly teased me with his tongue. It sent tingles down my body. That's when I started to moan. I tried to keep my moans as quiet as I possibly could because his upstairs neighbor was home. I figured that if Ron was nervous about the window, he'd be mortified if I made too much noise. After slowly teasing me to the brink of orgasm, Ron inserted a finger inside me and started to slide it in and out. He alternated between using his tongue, and his fingers and then both. He even at one point grabbed onto my hips and pulled me closer to his face. It was really intense. It felt so good, that I think I could have let him stay down there all day!

We quickly moved to the bedroom, where we kissed and grinded on each other for a while. Then to my amazement, he went down for some more! He pulled me to the edge of the bed, and started to lick, and suck while kneeling by the side of the bed. I literally had waves of pleasure running through my body. As each wave grew more intense, I grew louder. It must have been a bit too loud, because the upstairs neighbor put his stereo on. Now, to most people, that would be embarrassing. But to me, I got a perverted kick out of it. I think that it's possible that Ron was turned on by it too, because I then flipped over and started sucking his raging hard cock while he stood next to the bed. Soon he began to thrust his hips in sync with my mouth. As he grew more excited, he started to actually fuck my face. This was enough to get me going again. I started to instinctively moan, and then he came, and came hard. I was thankfully able to suck up every drop he had to offer me.

We collapsed in a pile on the bed and just laid there for a few minutes resting. I was tired. I can only imagine how tired he must have been! He really got a workout today while trying to please me. And please me he did!

Dom/Sub...WHAT?

2010-09-17T14:32:00.001-04:00

OK. It's been quite a while since I met Felix at his office. We have chatted online several times, but it has literally been MONTHS since I've seen him. In one of our recent chats, he mentioned that he wanted to try a Dom/sub relationship. I'm all new to this and although I know what that means, I don't KNOW for sure what all that entails. When his birthday came around a few weeks ago, the topic came up again. I told him that for his birthday present, we would get a hotel room, and for a few hours, I would be his sub. Of course, I set a few ground rules, but I'll leave that for another time. As of right now, we still haven't found the time for our big rendezvous - but, we did get together.

As Joe mentioned in his blog yesterday, I have recently been in the mood for a little bit of extra "naughtiness". So, while Joe and I were online last night, we ran into Felix. He was out drinking with friends, but we managed to convince him to meet me at his empty office for a half hour so I could get my cock fix. I put on a slinky black dress - well, I think it's just a longish shirt, but I wore it as a dress - with no bra or panties, and headed out the door.

As soon as I arrived at the office, I saw Felix looking out the window. I opened up the office door, and he was there to greet me. All I got out was a quick hello, and he was already heading towards me to give me a kiss. As he wrapped his arm around me, his other hand went directly to my pussy. In his fingers went. He lifted me up and put me on the closest desk and started to work his magic.

His fingers were just that too - magic. He clearly loves to talk dirty, which I am a total sucker for. He said things like "Oh, you shaved for me?" "Ooh, that's a perfect cunt", "You are so wet, I can tell you couldn't wait to get here"...you get the idea. It was so unexpected and erotic, that I started to squirt right there on the desk. I could feel the liquid just pouring out from between my legs.

He then told me that I needed to be his sub slut. He wanted me to ASK him if I could PLEASE be his sub slut, and that I needed to tell him that I WANT to cum. I said "screw you". He ignored my comment, and kept working his magic. He then put three fingers inside me and I started to work up into more of a frenzy. I don't know why, but I was on the edge of orgasm the entire time...I just couldn't seem to cum.

I bowed down to the dom/sub idea and started to plead for him to make me his sub slut, to make me cum. I don't know why, but something about doing that really seemed dirty, and I LIKED it. I started to squirt even more. I then heard him say "You like that, don't you? You little sub slut".

At this point, I was so close to the edge, but I somehow knew that the intense orgasm that I was aching for probably wasn't going to happen. I knew that we had only a few minutes left before he needed to leave for home. I heard myself begging him to PLEASE let me suck his cock. He stopped and told me that he would ALLOW me this pleasure just because I asked nicely.

I knelt down in front of him, and took his now rock hard cock out of his pants. He demanded that I take his entire cock deep into my throat and hold it there until he told me to take it out. I had no choice but to comply, because he held his hand at the back of my head while he thrust deeply into my throat. He then while holding a fistful of my hair, tilted my head sideways so he could see the fantastic view from his angle. When my head was tilted, he used his other hand to gently sweep my hair off of the side of my face.

When I was allowed to remove him from my mouth, I was told that I needed to then suck both of his balls at once. I started to suck on his balls, and was immediately told that I wasn't doing as was instructed. I was TOLD to suck both at once. This entire exchange was so foreign and yet erotic to me, I found myself not only extremely turned but with a burning desire to please him. I wanted so badly for him to let me know that what I was doing was to his satisfaction.

He let me know when he was about to cum, and asked if I would enjoy swallowing every last drop. I moaned at the thought, but told him that it was Joe's specific request that he cum all over my face. Felix then said OK - make me cum on your face then. So, as I knelt before him, I took his throbbing cock out of my mouth and began to stroke it. I didn't even think to let him do it, I intuitively KNEW that somehow it was my job to totally please him. It only took a minute, but I could feel the cum slowly rising inside him. I tilted my face back, and opened my mouth. When he came on my face, a few drops luckily landed in my mouth, which I eagerly swallowed. He didn't cum a huge amount, but it was enough that I could feel it dripping down my chin and onto my tits. When we were finished, I went into the restroom to wipe off the huge globs of cum off of my face, but I was careful to leave the rest where it was. It seemed somehow appropriate for me to wear my reward home.

Staying After School

2010-09-16T15:05:00.000-04:00

Over the past year, Kathleen and I have had some amazing experiences -- things that I would never have believed actually happen outside of bad porn movies and cheesy letters to Penthouse Forum. Quite unexpectedly, last night was one of those nights.

It all began when Kathleen had a few glasses of wine after dinner. Wine tends to make her horny, and last night was one of those "extra special" nights where she was practically climbing the walls by the time the kids went to bed. We began talking dirty while making out on the couch, and Kathleen told me she needed to suck a random cock immediately. I offered my own, but she insisted on a new cock. And she had that look in her eyes that told me she was serious.

I decided to call her bluff, and logged onto our favorite swinging web site to see if we could find someone willing to help her out. I didn't think that would be too difficult, given that we are constantly contacted by horny single guys who would go out of their way for a blowjob -- even at 10:00 on a Wednesday night. Shockingly, however, the pickings were slim. And after several failed attempts, Kathleen suggested we visit a local porn shop that allegedly has "glory holes."

Now...I should pause at this point in the story, as there is some back history here. Long before we ever got into swinging, I used to peruse the porn sites (like any red-blooded, horny, sex-starved American husband) and one of my favorite types of porn to watch was women sucking random dicks through a hole in the wall. There was just something SO dirty and slutty about sucking nameless, faceless dicks, one after another, that really turned me on.

When we first got into swinging, Kathleen wanted to see the type of porn I was interested in, and I reluctantly shared one of those videos with her, thinking she would think I was some sort of perverted freak. But to my utter amazement, she was just as turned on by it as I was!

Unfortunately, the fantasy of visiting a gloryhole is much hotter than the reality. The reality is that because you know nothing about the sexual history of the person on the other side of that hole, it really isn't a safe practice at all, and you're just asking for trouble. In other words: kids, don't try this at home.

But...when you're ultra-horny like Kathleen and I were last night, sometimes all sensibility and responsibility gets tossed out the window. We hopped in the car and only got about 500 yards down the road before sensibility returned (note: I was completely sober, and therefore was supposed to be the responsible one.) I turned around and headed back home, promising Kathleen I would find a random dick for her to suck that would be a little safer.

As soon as we returned, I logged back into our site, and immediately found a single guy online who had contacted us several times before. Like every couple on the site, we are constantly getting e-mail and instant messages from single guys. This happens so often that you tend to discard them without ever giving them a second look. But this one guy stood out for me because he had a self-deprecating sense of humor. In our profile online, I had mentioned that Kathleen has a thing for bald guys and nerds, and this guy -- we'll call him "Lucas" -- introduced himself by stating that he has a vast collection of lightsabers at home, and thus qualifies as a nerd. (Kathleen's response was to ask him if she could play with his lightsaber sometime.)

Anyway...as fate would have it, Lucas had just contacted us earlier yesterday to see if we would like to meet. We didn't bother responding, but now finding ourselves with a need for a random dick, I sent him an instant message asking if it were too late to take him up on his offer. As it was now 11:00 at night, I figured he would probably decline, but he was VERY eager to meet with us. I mentioned that Kathleen was extremely horny, and wanted to suck a random disk. Needless to say, he was more than willing to help her out.

Now, the question was: where do we meet? With kids at home, meeting here isn't an option for us. And he seemed hesitant to meet at his place. He then mentioned a very intriguing option, stating that he is a school teacher and has access to the school and a key to his classroom. As it turned out, this school just happens to be the same high school from which Kathleen graduated. Talk about fulfilling several fantasies at once!

About 30 minutes later, we pulled into the parking lot of the high school, and were somewhat surprised to see Lucas already waiting for us. (We thought there would be a 50/50 chance he wouldn't show.) As we had never shared our face pictures with him, he was VERY glad to see Kathleen in person, as I'm sure she exceeded every expectation he had. She was wearing tight, low-cut jeans that accentuate her ass very nicely, and a form-fitting green shirt that exposes just the right amount of her belly when she moves. The look of surprise on Lucas' face when she stepped out of the car was priceless.

As for Lucas, he looked exactly what you'd expect a high school science teacher would look like: glasses, a full beard, a little overweight, and dressed in the standard-issue uniform of the high school science teacher: button-down dress shirt and pleated khaki's. It's probably safe to say that this guy was pretty "safe" in terms of having a relatively short sexual resume. (Certainly much safer than a random dick sticking through a hole in the wall.)

Lucas led us into the school and to his classroom, while Kathleen remarked upon the similarities and differences in the school as we walked down the darkened hall. We then stepped into the classroom, and Lucas switched on the lights, allowing us to see a typical high school science room, complete with desks and lab counters. Despite it being such an odd and unexpected situation, Lucas seemed remarkably calm. I asked if anything like this had ever happened to him before and he quickly replied, "never!"

After he and Kathleen engaged in a little chit-chat about the school and the classroom, Lucas finally made his move, putting his arm around Kathleen and pulling her close. I then asked if it would be okay if I videotaped the two of them from the waist down, and after a bit of hesitation, Lucas said it would be okay, as long as I didn't film too much of the background. I easily agreed to that stipulation. (Not only was it a turn-on for me to videotape them, but it gave me something to do besides simply standing there, feeling awkward.)

Lucas then asked if he could kiss Kathleen, and she happily agreed. Their hands began exploring each other's bodies, and it wasn't long at all before Kathleen's hand roamed down toward Lucas' dick, which I could already see was poking its way out of his pants. This was my cue to turn the video camera on.

"Ooh, honey," she cooed, as she unzipped his pants and reached inside, "look what I have!" Within seconds, she dropped to her knees and wrapped her lips slowly around his throbbing cock. It appeared to be about average in size (maybe a little shorter), but thick, and absolutely rock-hard. Kathleen ever-so-slowly licked around his head, and teased him by ever-so-slowly taking him in and out of her mouth. She then dove right in, and took him all the way into the back of her throat, pulling his ass toward her head with both hands. Lucas responded with a tremendous groan, leading me to believe this wouldn't last long at all.

For the next 10-15 minutes, Kathleen worked him over like a pro, licking, sucking and face-fucking him with such intensity that I thought I was going to blow my load just watching them! Every once in awhile, Lucas would say something about her incredible mouth, or how good she looked and smelled. But for the most part, he just stood with his eyes cast down upon her gorgeous mouth wrapped around his dick, pumping in and out, in and out.

At one point, Lucas made a motion that he wanted to proceed to the next phase and return the favor to Kathleen, but Kathleen briefly took him out of her mouth and said, "Oh, no -- this is all about you." Looking a bit surprised, he asked her if she wanted him to cum, and she said, "Oh, yeah. Please!"

I thought that would be the end of it right there. (That certainly would have put me over the top.) He began pumping in and out of her mouth a bit quicker and deeper, and I could soon see a generous amount of saliva falling from Kathleen's mouth and chin to the floor. But she kept going, and never stopped for breath, as Lucas began to moan louder and louder.

Unfortunately, though, in the end, he could not give her the cum she wanted. It felt incredible, he explained, but he just couldn't get over the top and finish. Hey, I've been there, bro. Many times. It happens.

After a little more small talk, we all left the building and bid each other good-bye. I don't know if we'll ever see Lucas again, but I do know one thing: that is a night he will never, ever forget!

Another First (Part Two)

2010-09-12T23:45:00.001-04:00

We returned to Ron and Charlotte's, and I took a seat on one of their couches. Charlotte walked into the room, and she actually headed toward the couch on the other side of the room, but after a slight hesitation, she then took a seat next to me. I didn't hesitate at all in placing my hand on her thigh, and she let me know it was okay by placing her hand on top of mine.

Kathleen and Ron were in another part of the house, giving me a rare moment alone with Charlotte. I really wanted to talk to her about what had happened at the bar, but I figured that probably wouldn't be a smart decision. So instead, I told her that I had a really tough time reading her. I'm usually pretty good at reading body language, I explained, but I just couldn't figure her out at all.

She apologized (making me feel terrible), and explained that she has never been very good at expressing herself emotionally. She assured me that it had nothing to do with me. She then leaned in and kissed me. And for the next several minutes, we made out like a couple of teenagers on her couch. If the night ended right there, I would have gone home a happy man.

Luckily, it didn't end there. Kathleen and Ron came into the room shortly thereafter and sat on the other couch, while we pretty much ignored them, wrapped in our own little world. After several minutes had passed, we were still kissing and groping each other when I heard the distinctive sound of cock-sucking coming from the other couch. I refused to look, as I was making a concerted effort not to be distracted by anything Kathleen was doing. I was trying to pretend she wasn't there, and Kathleen was doing a remarkable job of being quiet. (Both she and Ron love to talk dirty and moan loudly during sex, but were trying to be as quiet as possible in order to not distract us.)

Charlotte must have recognized the sound as well, as she took this as a signal to progress to the next stage and immediately reached for my belt buckle. She fumbled with my belt, and I helped her out, undoing my belt and unzipping my pants. She then reached down and stroked my cock while I undid her pants and began rubbing her clit outside of her panties. Amazingly, I hadn't done anything like that since I was in high school! It was extremely hot!

Eventually, (unlike when I was in high school) I stood and removed my pants and underwear, and then sat back on the couch, allowing her to blow me. But, although I had been rock-hard just moments before, I was now completely limp. I will never figure out my dick. Ever. It just doesn't make any sense to me. I could be experiencing the hottest sexual experience of my life, and my dick just doesn't react the way I expect. At this point, though, we've been doing this for almost a year now, and I've come to accept it. It is what it is.

I can imagine how frustrating it can be to a woman, going down on a guy who just isn't responding. So after only a minute or two, I guided Charlotte back up to kiss me, while I deftly removed her top. I then stood up and practically lifted her onto the couch. (Well, maybe not "practically.") After kissing and sucking her neck and around her tits, I worked my way down to her belly, and managed to remove her pants. I then ever-so-slowly kissed her thighs and flicked my tongue gently along her pussy, teasing her a bit before attacking her clit. I was bound and determined to give her an orgasm, but after a LONG time had passed, I finally gave up. She seemed to be very close a number of times, and she seemed to really love what I was doing (it was the most response I've gotten from her to date), but I just couldn't push her over that edge.

Exhausted from my effort, I rose and straddled her mouth. Remarkably, my dick was still unresponsive at this point. I really thought it was broken beyond repair. But I couldn't help myself any longer. I just HAD to know what was happening on the other side of the room. It was too quiet. And it was killing me. So I looked. And I saw Ron positioned between Kathleen's legs, thrusting into her...without a condom. INSTANTLY, I became rock-hard. Not only was I hard, but I immediately felt as though I was going to cum.

There was no way I was going to cum so quickly yet again. The last time I was with Charlotte, it was embarrassing how quickly I came. So I withdrew -- or, at least, tried. Charlotte was very determined to keep me in her mouth. And it felt SO good, I really wanted to be there. But I knew things would end badly (for her) if I did. So for the next few moments, Charlotte and I had a tug-of-war with my dick.

Finally, I couldn't take any more. I pulled away and positioned myself between Charlotte's legs. This was the moment of truth. I have only fucked one woman in my entire life without a condom. And at that moment, that woman was quietly moaning while some other guy was pumping in and out of her on the other side of the room. I hadn't spoken to Charlotte about our new policy, and I didn't know if Ron had spoken to her, either. But I positioned myself at her entrance, completely bare, and Charlotte didn't protest. So in I went.

It. Felt. Incredible.

That's the way I felt, and that's what Charlotte whispered to me. I started to fuck her slowly, and she responded to every thrust with a sweet, soft moan. Eventually, I fucked her harder and quicker. And within no time at all, I could feel the urgent need to cum. So I backed out completely and squeezed my dick as hard as I could. Not tonight. The last time we were with Ron and Charlotte, I came so quickly that Ron and Kathleen continued fucking for 15-20 minutes afterward while Charlotte and I chatted in their kitchen. And although it was a great chat -- one of my favorite moments with her, actually -- I did not want to repeat that teenage-like performance.

Although I could hear all sorts of pounding and stifled moaning coming from the other couch, I refused to look, as I knew it would just distract me from the task at hand. I moved Charlotte into a different position, with her legs held high, and she really seemed to enjoy that one. But again, after only a minute or so, I felt like I was about to cum. So I had to stop once again. I couldn't tell if Charlotte enjoyed the starting-and-stopping or if it annoyed her. (It's SO hard to read her body language.) But I had no choice.

Finally, I flipped her over, and entered her from behind. Charlotte has an amazing ass, and I grabbed onto it as I thrust into her, and the harder I pounded, the more she seemed to enjoy it. But annoyingly, I kept having to stop every minute or so, as I felt like I was going to explode!

I was doing okay, starting and stopping at will, just waiting for Ron and Kathleen to finish, so that I could finish myself. But at one point, I heard Ron whisper to Kathleen, "You like that cock, don't you?" And instantly, without any warning whatsoever, and without any way for me to stop it, I started cumming.

Now, for some reason, I thought that cumming inside Charlotte would not be welcomed. So I pulled out and came all over her back as a "courtesy." But several minutes later, Ron came...inside Kathleen. And she LOVED it. She loved it so much, she stuck a couple of fingers inside her afterward and tasted his cum. Had I known that was an option....

Afterward, Charlotte and I made out in the kitchen while waiting for Kathleen and Ron to wrap it up. We then shared an extended good-bye kiss. All in all, despite the speed bump at the bar, it was a good night. Hell, it was a GREAT night.

Another First (Part One)

2010-09-12T23:04:00.000-04:00

We've been in "the lifestyle"* for nearly a year now, and it seems as though we're running out of "firsts." There was the first time we fondled a stranger in public, the first time we had sex in front of other people, the first time we had sex with another couple, the first time we played in separate rooms, the first time I sent Kathleen off to blow another guy, etc., etc.. But this weekend, we managed to add yet another "first" to our list.

* Side note: I hate the term "the lifestyle." It sounds so corny, and cult-like. To us, what we do isn't a "lifestyle." It's a hobby. A really fun, really sexy, really exciting hobby. It doesn't consume our day-to-day life, so it's not a "lifestyle." It's just something we do for fun. Some couples get together and play cards. Some get together and go to movies. We get together with other couples and have sex. It's just another "recreational activity." So from now on, I'm going to call what we do "the hobby."

Back in July, I wrote a blog post about a couple named "Ron and Charlotte." Since then, we've met with the two of them twice. Both were very "vanilla" dates -- one even included our children at a barbeque at their house. Kathleen had a rare Saturday night off last night, so we made plans with Ron and Charlotte once again. And this time, we knew it probably wouldn't be "vanilla."

The last time we hooked up with them, Ron really wanted to fuck Kathleen without a condom. Our one (and only, it seems) rule that we have is no fucking without a condom. It is just something we decided when we first entered the hobby, and it's the only rule we have been adamant about maintaining.

However...I hate condoms. They completely take me out of the mood, and if I don't strap one on quickly enough, I'll lose my hard-on instantly. They smell. They probably taste awful. You can't even buy one without that nasty lubrication smeared all over it. Fucking with them feels like fucking with a garbage bag tied around your dick. And I can't fuck with a condom for more than 2-3 minutes before I completely lose my hard-on. There is just nothing sexy about condoms.

But...we all know condoms protect you from all sorts of nasty diseases. And it is socially unacceptable to even think about fucking without condoms in the hobby. You may as well announce to the world that you have leprosy, as your chances of getting laid would be about the same.

But condoms cannot protect you from getting Herpes, which can be passed from mere skin-to-skin contact. And if you don't use condoms for oral sex, then you are exposing yourself to nearly as much risk as you would from fucking without condoms. Condoms will protect you from HIV, but let's face it, if you're fucking with other middle-aged married couples who aren't IV drug users, the odds are astronomically low that they will have HIV. According to some reports, more than 80% of people aged 25+ have Herpes. But most of them don't even know it, because they've never experienced any symptoms. So if you have a disease that doesn't have any symptoms...then why worry about it? In other words, I think the hype over "safe sex" is just that: hype.

So, prior to meeting with Ron and Charlotte, I mentioned to Kathleen the possibility of not using condoms with them. If what they've told us is true, we are the only couple they have been with in the past several years. So we both feel they are pretty "safe." But I fully expected Kathleen to shoot down my suggestion, as she has been adamant about using condoms since we started this experience. To my surprise (and elation), however, she said she was willing to try it without condoms.

We met up with Ron and Charlotte at their place, and had a nice dinner together. We then headed out to a bar down the road to listen to a band and have some drinks. At one point, Kathleen leaned across the table and told Ron what we had discussed. Needless to say, he was totally on-board.

Now...I have always been very attracted to Charlotte. By far, she's the most attractive woman we've met in the lifestyle-- er, hobby -- so far. She is also a really nice person. But since the day I first met her in that restaurant during our first meeting together, I have not felt a "connection" between the two of us. I can't really put my finger on it, but I just don't feel as though she is attracted to me. I think she "goes through the motions" to please her husband. It's not that she's "taking one for the team" for him, as I know she doesn't find me unattractive, but I think she just puts up with it, and does what she feels she needs to do to keep him happy.

I shared these thoughts with Ron prior to our "date", and he assured me that wasn't the case at all. He insisted that Charlotte is very attracted to me, but that she just has trouble expressing herself. I can definitely relate to that, as I have the exact same problem. So, I figured maybe I was just being paranoid. But as we sat at the bar, listening to the band, Kathleen and Ron carried on an animated conversation across the table. (The connection between those two is undeniable.) And Charlotte was engrossed in conversation...with another couple at another table. The other couple were old friends of hers, and I understood they had some catching up to do. But I couldn't help but feel like a fifth wheel -- especially when Ron and Kathleen went off to the bathroom together, leaving me sitting alone while Charlotte had her back turned to me, talking with her friends.

I felt like such a loser, and when Kathleen returned to the table, I told her I was done for the night. I just wanted to go home. But Kathleen just laughed, said I was being foolish, and assured me that everything would be okay once we got back to Ron and Charlotte's place. In retrospect, she was right.

To be continued....

The Newbies

2010-08-29T22:54:00.001-04:00

This past weekend, we attended a local lifestyle party. At one point, Kathleen and I were chatting with a single guy when another couple (we'll call them "the Newbies") approached us and introduced themselves. Mrs. Newbie was incredibly cute, and "my type" of girl in every way: great eyes, great smile, great personality, and (perhaps most importantly) she seemed interested in me.

We chatted for awhile, and learned that they are brand new to the lifestyle, having only experienced a girl-on-girl encounter once before. Because of that, we knew we'd have to move very slowly. As the night progressed, I moved closer and closer to Mrs. Newbie, and liked the vibe I was getting from her. When the moment seemed right, I asked if I could kiss her. She checked with Mr. Newbie, who gave his eager approval, and I made my move. For the next...well, it seemed like 30 minutes, but was probably only two or three...she and I shared an incredibly passionate kiss.

After the kiss, the four of us discussed playing together in one of the rooms. Unfortunately, the party was so packed, all of the rooms were occupied. We stood in the hallway, contemplating our options. And that's when the Newbies got cold feet. They broke away from us to talk amongst themselves, and that was pretty much the end of the fun. Mrs. Newbie later explained to me that she really enjoyed our kiss, but she wasn't comfortable taking it any further. I told her I completely understood, and mentioned that what I'd really like to do is meet them for dinner/drinks sometime outside of the crazy party atmosphere and get to know each other, take things very slowly, and let the relationship develop naturally. And if nothing ever happens, at least we'll have a great friendship. She agreed, and seemed very happy with that plan.

When we got back home, I sent them an e-mail, reiterating what I had said to Mrs. Newbie, and stressing that we were willing to slow down the pace to whatever level they are comfortable with. Mr. Newbie responded that they enjoyed meeting us, but they really wanted to slow things down, and perhaps we'd meet again at the party someday. And since, realistically, the odds of Kathleen and I having another Saturday night off in the near future are slim, and the odds of the Newbies ever returning to a lifestyle party are even slimmer, this means that we have likely seen the last of them. What a pity.

After the Talk

2010-07-18T19:17:00.002-04:00

After lunch was finished, we picked up our mess and we pretty much started up where we had left off. We started to make out on the couch again. Hands were roaming, and I had to remind Ron a few times that I couldn't have sex with him this time around. Perhaps on our next date. I ended up straddling Ron on the couch while we were kissing. I could feel him growing harder underneath me, so I started to slowly grind on him. He started kissing my neck and pulled the neck of my shirt down, so he could kiss the tops of my breasts. I can't explain it, but I was getting really turned on, and quickly.

It was pretty hot in the living room, so I got off of poor Ron thinking that he would die with me sitting on top of him. He ended up flipping me over and he laid on top of me. We kissed and he began to thrust his pelvis into mine. That was just about all I could take. I actually was fully clothed at this point, but it felt so good, I started to moan. I wanted to rip off my clothes and have him take me right then and there. All I was thinking about was how much I needed to be fucked. But I made myself a promise that I would behave.

So I sat back up to catch my breath. I looked over at Ron and knew instantly that he was at the same point. He needed to be fucked. Now, I made myself a promise. He never made any such promise. Who am I to make a guy suffer? I started to fondle his crotch and then I took off his shorts and eventually his underwear as well. I took him into my mouth and began to suck on his increasingly growing cock for a little while and then took a break to again straddle him and make out. He took off my shirt and bra at this point so he could have full access to my tits.

We played that way for a bit more, and then I moved back down to finish what I had started. I could feel Ron's cock getting harder, and he started to push my head down so I could take him fully into my mouth. I began to bob my head up and down while he continued to help guide my head rapidly over his cock. When Ron came inside of my mouth, he came a lot. So much so, that some of it dribbled out of my mouth and down his shaft. I continued to slowly suck him until I was sure that he was completely emptied. When I was sure that he was fully drained, I went into the bathroom to clean up and he did the same. I then gave him a kiss goodbye and left.

The Talk

2010-07-18T18:31:00.000-04:00

Well, the day of our date arrived. Ron and I left work and headed for his place. We walked into the kitchen, and I pulled out a bottle of wine that I brought with me. I figured that we may as well have a glass or two of vino if we were going to be talking about sex and swinging. I left Ron to the task of pouring the drinks while I went to his room to change into my shorts and t-shirt.

When I came out, Ron handed me my glass and we went into the living room to sit and we started to talk. I sat down next to him and we discussed my fears and he answered all of my questions to my satisfaction. It was a nice talk. At this point, I had been up for twelve hours, and had absolutely nothing to eat all day. I was starting to feel the wine go straight to my head, and I KNEW that meant that I would start being way too flirty. I told Ron that we should order our food, so he got on the phone to order our takeout. Twenty five minutes. That's a long time to wait with a glass of wine in your hand, a buzz starting, and a nice looking guy sitting next to you on a couch! I sat down next to him and started to ask him questions again. He asked me why I was sitting so far away. So, when I moved closer, he put his arm around me and we started to kiss. We made out on the couch like a couple of teenagers. It was pretty intense, and quite exciting. Of course, our food came way too soon, and we took a break for lunch.

We Need To Talk

2010-07-18T18:17:00.002-04:00

Hi. Kathleen, here.

I was recently "outed" as a swinger to my coworker Ron. Most people would be uncomfortable knowing something like that about someone they worked with, but for some reason, Ron started to talk to me, and flirt with me quite a bit more. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy it. You see, I have a thing for nice looking bald guys. So, I guess he would be what you would call my workplace crush. Knowing all of that, Ron started to ask me if I would break my rule about not playing with coworkers. That question in and of itself made me pause to reassess the rule.

My first concern was how would my husband feel knowing that I play with someone I work with. I mean, I'm at work a lot more than I am at home sometimes. I'm not sure how I would feel if the situation were reversed, so I immediately assumed that Joe would be uncomfortable. Well, since I share EVERYTHING with Joe, I decided that this new development needed to be discussed as well. To my surprise, Joe was more than OK with it. He essentially told me that if I wanted to play with Ron, then that's what I should do. This of course got my mind racing, and the sexual tension started to increase when I was around Ron at work just because I knew that if I wanted, I could have him.

You would think that knowing that I had a green light, I would just go with the flow, but something was holding me back. It took me a bit to figure it out, but I realized that this wasn't going to be just a fling with a swinger who I could just drop and never see again if it doesn't work out. This is a guy who I would have to see every day if it doesn't work out. Also, Ron is single. There is something safer about a married guy. You KNOW he's in it for the sex. That's it. But, a single guy, even though he's in it for the sex.... could he also possibly become too invested in this new "friendship"? That's when I decided to call him up on the phone to make a lunch date for the weekend. I told him that "We Need To Talk". No playing...just that we need to talk. I had a lot of questions in my head that I needed answered before I even considered getting involved. So many questions....

Swinging separately

2010-07-17T01:10:00.000-04:00

On our return trip from our very first experience as swingers, we happened to run into one of Kathleen's co-workers. Her eyes lit up immediately when she saw him (he is bald, of course), and I made a facetious remark that she was absolutely shameless for not even attempting to conceal her attraction to another man so early in our swinging experience. She assured me that nothing would ever happen, because they were co-workers. And she had a strict rule: never "play" with a co-worker.

Well, it's been eight months, and a lot has changed since then. We're no longer "newbies" to the swinging scene, and we've quickly discovered that EVERY "rule" we had established when we first entered this crazy pastime has either been broken already or will be broken soon.

As for Kathleen's co-worker, an interesting development occurred earlier today when he confronted her and (without too much effort) outed her as a swinger. As it turns out, this guy may be a swinger himself, and needless to say he is VERY interested in getting together with Kathleen. When she told me about this conversation, she was clearly intrigued by the notion of breaking this particular rule. The major issue she seemed to have was my feeling toward the matter. As she put it, "I would be uncomfortable if the situation were reversed."

There is no doubt whatsoever that if she were to have suggested such a thing last November, when we first began swinging, I would have felt VERY uncomfortable with the notion of her sleeping with a guy she works with. But as I said, a lot has changed since then. And the experience we had a couple weeks ago with Felix really forced me to do some heavy-duty soul-searching.

Here now is a basic outline of my thought process since her experience with Felix:

A: I love Kathleen with all my heart, and I truly believe she feels the same.
B: Because I believe in "A", I trust her completely.
C: Because of "A", I want her to be as happy as humanly possible, and experience everything life has to offer. Life is too short, and the window of opportunity we have for enjoying a kick-ass sex life is shrinking every day.
D: Because of "B", I am comfortable with Kathleen having sex with anyone she chooses, at any time she chooses, wherever and however she chooses. I want her to sow every wild oat she has ever dreamed of sowing, and experience every sexual high she can possibly experience.

Since our separate-room experiment, I have realized that we cannot fully enjoy sex with another person if we are in the same room together. I was always well aware of the fact that my "performance issues" had a negative effect on MY experience, but it didn't occur to me until recently that those issues also had a negative effect on Kathleen's experience, as she was too worried about me to fully enjoy herself. I've also learned that she loves to talk dirty during sex, and if I (or the other guy's wife) is in the room, it detracts from that element of her experience as well.

So in other words, for Kathleen to fully enjoy herself sexually, I can't be in the same room. And if I'm not in the same room, then what difference does it make if I'm in the same house, the same section of town, or the same part of the world? This was a tough pill to swallow at first, but I have come to terms with it.

I believe that she enjoys having sex with me more than anyone else. But there is one thing I cannot give to her, and that is the experience of being with someone new. And that, in itself, is a huge turn-on. And I want so badly for her to experience that feeling as often as possible, because I know how great it feels. And just because I have far fewer opportunities to experience that feeling (thanks to the fact that I'm a guy) shouldn't mean that she can't experience it as often as possible. This isn't a contest, and we're not keeping score. (And thank god for that, because if it were, I'd be losing BIG-TIME!)

I really enjoy same-room experiences with Kathleen, because I love watching her be pleased, and I love watching her please other men. I love the look on their faces when she gives them the same treatment I receive regularly. It is a huge turn-on for me, and (oddly enough) a big ego boost, as I know that at the end of the night, she'll be going home with me. I love hearing her talk dirty to other men, and seeing their reaction. I love listening to her moan as she's being pounded by another guy. I love watching her take another man's cock deep into her throat, and seeing his reaction to that.

But, at the same time, I understand that if I am in the room, watching all the action, it is a huge distraction for her, and she isn't able to enjoy herself completely. And I so desperately want that for her. I want her to have the most earth-shaking orgasm she's ever had, and I want to hear every detail about how it happened. I love setting her up with "dates" and ordering her to wear her sexiest outfits so that she can go out and suck and/or fuck some other guy. I really can't explain why, but it is a huge turn-on for me.

I told Kathleen earlier today that I'm perfectly fine with her fucking Ron if that's what she wants to do. I love the fact that she has that option, and I know she loves it, too. She's clearly attracted to him, so now the only question is whether she's comfortable fucking a guy she works with. Whatever she decides, I'm okay with it. I know that when she's done with him, she'll come home and tell me all about it (and hopefully blog about it here!) And that's good enough for me.

In many ways, sex is like any other experience. If Kathleen decides to take a vacation or scale a mountain or swim the English Channel, I don't have to be there with her to share the same experience myself. I can simply allow her to enjoy the experience, and then share the details with me when she gets home. In this way, she is free to full enjoy the experience without any distractions. And this makes her happy. And when she is happy, I am happy.

Separate rooms

2010-07-10T18:57:00.000-04:00

When we first started swinging, Kathleen and I had many, many discussions about what we were and were not comfortable with. At the top of the discomfort list was the notion of separate-room swinging. Because swinging is something we want to explore and enjoy together, and because our main source of enjoyment is watching each other, separate rooms just seemed to defeat the entire purpose.

But after eight months and several same-room adventures with other couples, I realized that I've never been able to fully enjoy the experience, because I am always hyper-focused on what Kathleen is doing with the other guy on the other side of the bed. While I would be content to simply watch her do her thing, it isn't fair to the other woman I am supposed to be entertaining.

We never seriously discussed separate-room swinging until Kathleen's hot little adventure last Friday. Never mind "separate room" -- Kathleen's adventure took place on the opposite side of town! After that, we both realized we were comfortable with the notion of separate-room swinging, and would pursue it if given the opportunity.

Well, that opportunity came sooner than expected, as we visited our favorite local swingers party last night for the third time. And for the third time, we ran into Tracie and Bobby at that party. It had been a long time since we've seen them, and they seemed very excited to see us again. At one point during the night, I pulled Tracie aside and told her about the problems I had during our last swinging experience. She told me that the same thing happened to the guy she was with during her last swinging experience. She was convinced the problem was her, but she seemed a little relieved when I told her I had the same problem with another couple. I explained that I get really distracted when Kathleen is in the same room, and Tracie asked if we'd ever considered separate-room swapping.

Within the hour (after much discussion between the four of us), I found myself in a room alone with Tracie, while Kathleen and Bobby ducked into a room of their own on the other side of the house. Before we even started, I told Tracie not to be offended if I couldn't get aroused. This separate-room experiment was simply that: an experiment. And it was highly possible that the experiment could fail. But Tracie assured me that she was okay with it, and we should just relax and enjoy the experience.

We began by kissing and exploring each other's bodies with our hands and mouths. Eventually, we undressed, and Tracie dropped to her knees to take me into her mouth. It felt incredible, but after a minute or two, I was still limp. But Tracie kept working at it, and it wasn't much longer before I felt myself growing inside her warm mouth. As I continued to grow, Tracie became more and more enthusiastic. She began moaning and bobbing furiously up and down my shaft. By the time she withdrew me from her mouth to lick my balls, I noticed I was sporting a rock-hard erection.

She continued to suck and moan and jerk me off, taking a break every once in awhile to talk dirty to me. "You have a gorgeous cock," she would say. And I would respond by saying things like, "You are so fucking good at that. I don't want you to stop." This continued for what seemed like 10-15 minutes. The longer we went, the more intense and excited she became. And that in itself was an incredible turn-on for me.

After what seemed like a blissful eternity, I told her to stop, because I wanted to fuck her. I strapped on a godforsaken condom (the bane of my swinger existence) and slowly entered her in the missionary position. As I did, she let out the most exquisite moan. I pumped away slowly at first, not allowing myself to fully enter her, and then gave her my full length -- to which she responded by thrusting her hips forward with another loud moan.

The harder I fucked her, the more she seemed to enjoy it, so I gave her several quick, forceful thrusts, slapping against her clit with each thrust. She begged me not to cum, as she wanted to ride me. But I had other plans. I withdrew from her, grabbed her ankle, flipped her over, and entered her from behind. I then grabbed ahold of her ass and pounded away. And as I did, she practically screamed, "This was SO worth the wait!"

But after awhile, despite the incredible time I was having, I could feel that I was losing my erection. (It seems as though I can never keep an erection for long with a condom on.) So I reluctantly withdrew, and began using my hands on her while she was still up on all fours. She seemed to enjoy this greatly, and ultimately responded by squirting all over my hand.

We collapsed onto the bed, and she seemed totally satisfied. She told me once again that this experience was well worth the wait, and we lay there for awhile, just catching our breath. But I wasn't done yet. I asked her if she could go down on me again, and she happily agreed. Now lying on my back, I could feel that she was giving a particularly sloppy blowjob, as I could feel a lot of warmness running down my shaft and between my legs. I could also feel a wetness on my leg, which she was pressing against her pussy. She seemed to be getting off on blowing me, which only heightened my arousal.

In no time, I felt the unmistakable tingle of orgasm building within me. I assumed she wanted to ride me, as she'd planned earlier, so I warned her that I was going to cum. But she had no intention of stopping. That warning only increased the intensity of her sucking. Within seconds, I exploded into her mouth. It came in wave after wave, and the sight and sound of her taking my cum in her mouth was incredible. She did not swallow, but let it run out of her mouth, down my shaft, and over my balls (which she then rubbed into my balls -- an incredible feeling in and of itself.) I'm normally not a huge fan of messy blowjobs, but this one was somehow incredibly arousing.

She continued to suck, and didn't remove her mouth until my dick had completely stopped throbbing inside her. We then collapsed once again onto the bed, completely drained, exhausted and satisfied.

We dressed and opened the door, expecting to see Kathleen and Bobby waiting for us with a knowing pair of grins. It seemed as though we had been in the room together for an hour, though it was probably no more than 30 minutes. But when we opened the door, Kathleen and Bobby were nowhere to be found. We ventured down the hall, and the door to their room was still closed. So I fetched myself a drink, went upstairs, and tried to occupy myself for awhile.

Although I was okay with Kathleen playing with Bobby alone, I found myself oddly missing her. We had always experienced these things together, and it disturbed me a bit to have had a sexual experience without her. I wanted to reconnect with her immediately, reaffirm our connection and share the stories of our experiences. But she was still in the room with Bobby. And that, too, disturbed me a little. Either Bobby had far greater stamina than I had, or they were spending a long time cuddling together in the afterglow. Either way, it was disturbing.

After another 15 minutes had passed, Tracie and I looked at each other with dumbfound expressions. "Let's go check it out," she said, and I quickly agreed. We ventured to the end of the hallway, cracked open the door, and there was Kathleen, on her knees, taking Bobby's rock-hard cock deep into her throat. It was an absolutely incredible sight, and I would've given anything to keep watching. But without removing her mouth from his cock, Kathleen reached over and closed the door.

Another 15 minutes passed, and they still hadn't emerged from their room. So once again, Tracie and I went down the hallway and cracked open the door. This time, we only saw the two of them lying naked together on the bed. So we closed the door and gave them another few minutes together, before they finally emerged.

I later learned that they spent a lot of time in the room simply chatting. And when they finally got down to business, Bobby had a lot of difficulty staying aroused. In the end, Kathleen jerked him off onto her face, chin and tits -- which is something I would've paid anything to see!

And that is the story of our first separate-room experience. Given that I was finally able to perform with another woman, I would grade it a success. If nothing else, going forward, we now know it is an option. Whether it is an option we prefer over same-room, we shall see.

His side of the story

2010-07-08T12:16:00.001-04:00

I ran into Felix online today, and told him I couldn't get enough of hearing about his encounter with Kathleen last Friday. I begged him to share his side of the story. Here is his response:

Have to say bit nervous when I first saw her
I was confused as to whether it was cool and didn't want to screw up anything
wicked nervous
talked for about 10 mins and then she stood up
we hugged & kissed a bit and she started rubbing me through pants
then after could feel how swollen I was she dropped down to her knees and took me into her mouth
so warm, hot, wet
amazing talent
spent 15 mins getting me close, taking it all, and then just licking shaft, etc.
unreal
was shocked I lasted 1 min! LOL
no less lasted that long, and then finally after I could not hold out, unloaded in her mouth and some on face
GORGEOUS
absolutely drained me
then she cleaned up and told me to get back to work
so damn hot

"So damn hot" is right!

Just another day at the office? Part Deuce

2010-07-03T16:59:00.001-04:00

Felix has an office only about fifteen minutes away from my house. Let me tell you, that car drive seemed like an eternity. I had butterflies in my stomach. The kind you get when you are on a roller coaster. You know the ones I'm talking about. I couldn't believe what I was actually about to do! Even more than that. I couldn't believe how much it excited me! I'm starting to think that being a dirty dirty slut is my sort of Cialis. Something about being really naughty really gets my juices flowing.

I arrived at the office and went upstairs. The door was locked. Oh no! He wasn't there! I had told him earlier in the day that I couldn't make it, and had not told him that I had changed my mind. I wanted to surprise him. My heart sank into my chest. I couldn't believe how disappointed I was! As I started to turn around to leave, I heard the door unlock! Felix answered the door and right away had this huge grin on his face. All I could get out was "Hi" and then a clumsy "Surprise!"

I could tell that he wasn't disappointed that I had come by. He invited me in, shut the door and locked it once again. He explained to me that he locks the door after he is done with his appointments for the day so he won't be bothered and can get some work done. We walked into his office and I sat down on a chair. He took the other one, which was unfortunately, on the other side of his desk. I felt like I was on a job interview.

We exchanged pleasantries and I started to feel very awkward. How do you make a smooth transition from talking to blowing a guy who is across the room? I then thought that there would be no way in hell that he would ever drop his pants and ask me to blow him. I realized that the first move would be entirely up to me. I stood up and said "come here".

I gave him a hug and started kissing him. He was so nervous that he was shaking. When I say he was shaking, I mean he was SHAKING. I have never seen anyone shake this bad who didn't have a medical condition. This guy was NERVOUS! How endearing. I unzipped his pants and he told me that he didn't think that he was going to last very long because he was so excited. I told him to not worry about it. I would take care of everything.

I slowly got down on my knees and gently began to lick his cock and finger his balls. After a few minutes, I started to slowly suck his cock and took him deep into my throat. I could feel that he was about to climax, so I backed off and gave him time to compose himself. This went on for a decent amount of time before I thought that I had tortured this poor guy enough. I asked him if he would prefer to cum on my face or in my mouth. He told me to choose. I chose in my mouth.

I took him deep into my throat and he began to face fuck me. He was moaning and I swear that it turned me on almost as much as it turned him on. He came into my mouth. He came a lot. I mean a lot. I let a little bit leak out of the side of my mouth and dribble down my chin. I then got up, smiled at him and headed to the bathroom to rinse off. When I got back, he was dressed once again. I kissed him deeply, thanked him and then left.

Just another day at the office?

2010-07-03T16:37:00.000-04:00

Joe and I talked to Felix online for a bit one night. I especially had a nice conversation with him. Normally, I won't even talk to the single men, but for some reason, this one seemed different. He was genuine, funny, and most importantly, he was honest. How do I know he was honest? Let's just say that I have a gift. I can smell a phony or a liar from 50 feet away. We enjoyed ourselves online so much so that we made a date with Felix for drinks at a local tavern.

Joe and I arrived 10 to 15 minutes early for our date. We grabbed a corner table, ordered a couple of drinks and some nachos. I couldn't help it. I was STARVING. I looked toward the door when the time for our date was to take place, and I saw Felix walk in. Punctual. I like that. I knew instantly who he was. He looked very nervous and unsure if we were the people he was supposed to meet, so I jumped up from the table and introduced myself. I saw his face light up and instantly knew that there was a connection. On the average woman's scale of handsome, I'm not sure he would be up there with Brad Pitt, but to me, he was very handsome. I have a thing for bald guys. He also sported an athletic body and even better than being bald, he was smart. I am a sucker for smart men. You put bald, fit, funny, honest and smart into one guy, that would be Felix. I instantly looked at Joe and asked if I could keep him! As we talked over drinks, Felix made it very clear that he didn't mind an occasional threesome, but he preferred to have alone time with me on a regular basis. I won't lie, I was a little bit nervous about that, but I was also very intrigued at the same time. Seeing as I had a few drinks in me and was in a very horny mood, I agreed to meet him at his office the next day for some one-on-one adult fun.

When Joe and I got home that night, we put on a cam show just for Felix. We wanted to give him a sneak preview of things to cum. It was more than exciting to me knowing that he was watching. I got sort of a perverse thrill out of it. We didn't get to bed until around midnight, and I had to get up for work at 2am. I was tired the next morning to say the least!

After I got home from work, I kept thinking about my standing office appointment. I was so tired, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to nap. I was too sexually charged up. I had convinced myself to email Felix and tell him that I couldn't make it simply because I was a bit nervous. I was nervous because I had never done anything like that before, and because I didn't want Joe to have second thoughts after the fact. That's a bell that can never be unrung. I wanted to make sure that whatever decision we made, it was one made totally sober and after some serious thought. Well, let me tell you. Joe was SO excited about the idea of me going to see Felix, that I knew instantly he meant it. I couldn't believe that my husband really wanted me to go to another man's office and blow him! My mind started to race and I felt myself instantly turned on. It was then when I realized that deep down I really wanted to go. So, I showered, hopped in the car and headed for the office.

My wife, the slut

2010-07-03T00:33:00.000-04:00

Today, something incredible happened. And by "incredible," I mean "beyond credulity." What happened this afternoon is so unbelievable that I don't even believe it myself. It seems like one of those stories you read in "Penthouse Forum" that begins, "I never thought something like this would happen to me..."

But this story is 100% authentic. I know this, because the woman who told this story to me is my wife, and she swore to tell me the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. So let's start from the beginning.

For the past couple of weeks, Kathleen has been unusually horny. One of the side effects of that horniness is that she will occasionally log on to our favorite swingers web site's chat room and chat with whoever happens to ping her. A couple of nights ago, a single male requested to chat with her, and she accepted. They chatted for quite a long time, exchange some pics, and Kathleen really seemed to like him.

We've had a longstanding "rule" against meeting with single guys, but it seems as though all rules are made to be broken. We decided to meet with this guy last night. Kathleen and I showed up at the place, and secured a quiet table in the corner. I expected the other guy not to show, yet he did, at approximately the same time as he said he would.

As soon as this guy approached our table, I knew he was Kathleen's type. For starters, he is bald (which, as we learned from a previous post, drives Kathleen wild.) But he is also a decent-looking guy, with a great personality, which fits her profile even better. Throughout the night, Kathleen grilled him with questions while I sort of took a back seat and simply observed. It was clearly evident that the entire night was about the two of them, and I was nothing more than a third wheel.

At the end of the night, we walked out to the parking lot together, and you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. Before Kathleen even entered the car, I knew exactly what she wanted. In their online chats, this guy had practically begged Kathleen to spend some time alone with him, but Kathleen and I have never played apart from each other, and we each had reservations about that. But at the same time, I felt as though I was getting in the way of her fantasy, and it was a fantasy that I shared as well.

That fantasy was for her to show up at his office in the middle of the day and give him a blowjob.

It is probably the dirtiest fantasy I have ever had: asking my wife of 17 years to blow a guy she has just met, in the middle of the day. But it is a fantasy that both Kathleen and I thought was extremely intriguing. That night, Kathleen and I put on a "web cam" show for about 750 people, including the guy we had just met that night. After that show, he was beside himself. He could not wait to be with Kathleen, and begged her to come see him the next day.

Today, Kathleen came home from work at around 10:30am. I mentioned the possibility of meeting this guy (we'll call him "Felix") at work, and she told me there was no way it would happen. Usually, when Kathleen says "no way," she means it. But today, I felt like maybe she wasn't being sincere. When I pressed her on it, it turned out that she was concerned about how I'd feel about it. When I told her it would be the most erotic experience of my lifetime, she suddenly had a change of heart.

It was then that Kathleen decided that she would go through with it. I couldn't believe it. I was so incredibly turned on by the mere thought of it that I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that she was actually willing to do it. I became instantly aroused -- to the point of discomfort -- at the mere thought of what was about to happen. It didn't make any sense to me, logically, since I wasn't going to be there to see it, and I wasn't going to evoke any direct pleasure from it at all. Yet, for some reason, it turned me on more than anything I've ever experienced before.

At this point in the story, my view is completely third-person. I could simply reiterate everything Kathleen has told me (which is the hottest story I've ever heard), or I could get her to tell you this story in her own words. Frankly, I think the latter option is way hotter.

Ohmygod, ohmygod

2010-07-02T14:46:00.000-04:00

As I type, my wife is sucking another man's cock somewhere in our hometown. I am sitting here with sweaty palms, the shakes, and a rock-hard erection. I absolutely LOVE it when she's dirty, and this is the dirtiest thing she's ever done.

Details to cum...

Oh, what a night!

2010-07-02T14:43:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago, we met with a couple from AFF. Up to that point, we'd exchanged a few e-mails, and they seemed like a nice, attractive couple. When Ron and Charlotte first walked through the door, I was immediately elated to discover that Charlotte was even prettier in person than in her photos. Over the next hour or so, we exchanged the usual chit-chat about our family lives and jobs. Both Ron and Charlotte seemed to be enjoying themselves, but at the same time they seemed a little uncomfortable. After awhile, we learned that this was their first meeting with another couple in months. While this explained their discomfort, it didn't help break the awkward silences that punctuated our first meeting together.

After we'd finished eating, and the checks had been paid, the four of us remained at the table, awkwardly wondering how to proceed with the evening. So I asked if either of the two played pool, and luckily enough, both answered that they are avid pool players. I then secured a table for the four of us, and we proceeded to play pool for the next hour or so. At this point, they began to loosen up a little, and we had a lot of fun together.

When we parted for the evening, I told Kathleen that Charlotte was without question "my type" of girl, and we were both eager to meet them again. Luckily, shortly after we returned home, we got a message from Ron stating that they would like to meet us again.

This past Friday, we met with them again for dinner and drinks. Afterward, we went back to their place, where Ron prepared some nice drinks for us. We then sat around their livingroom, wondering how to make that awkward, yet inevitable, transition to the bedroom. Initially, we tried playing a really lame game of strip poker. After several rounds, the two guys were shirtless, and Kathleen was bottomless. But Kathleen, playing the role of the world's greatest wingman, decided to get things started, and began flirting with Ron. After a few more hands were dealt, Kathleen's advances became a bit more aggressive, and in no time the two began to make out. At long last, that was my sign to begin making out with Charlotte. So I leaned in next to her, and she reciprocated by kissing me long and hard.

At some point, we all realized how silly it was to be making out on their couches, so we moved upstairs to their bedroom. Although we were all naked and sharing the same bed, the awkwardness was still present. Unsure of how to make the first move, I simply began making out with Kathleen. Charlotte and Ron followed suit by making out with each other. As Kathleen and I kissed, I realized that once again my body was refusing to cooperate. Kathleen offered to get me going, but I didn't want to draw attention to it. Instead, as I kissed Kathleen, I slowly ran my fingers along Charlotte's legs and thighs. After teasing her for awhile, I slowly made my way toward her pussy, which I was happy to discover was already wet.

Sensing that I would not be able to perform right away, I figured I'd give myself some time by going down on Charlotte. I positioned myself between her legs and began "working my magic." I tried every "trick" I had learned throughout my lifetime, but it was difficult to read Charlotte's body language.

Meanwhile, over on the other side of the bed, Kathleen was busy giving Ron the blowjob of his life. As I licked and sucked between Charlotte's legs, Kathleen worked her magic on Ron, massaging his dick with her tongue and throat, and moaning to the point that I thought Ron had already shot his load inside her. But she kept going, telling me that he wasn't quite finished yet.

After going down on Charlotte for a very long time, I still wasn't hard. Despite all the sexy activity around me, I just couldn't get it up. It remains a mystery to me what happens in these situations, but I'm determined to push through it and make it work. Charlotte did her best to get me going by sucking my cock for awhile. And once again, I felt the sudden urgency to cum even though my dick was completely limp. I stopped Charlotte before it was too late, and she climbed on top of me. We made out for awhile, and eventually I managed to get hard enough to slip on a condom.

I entered her slowly, and it was the most amazing feeling. Once again, I found myself on the verge of orgasm before I'd even begun. At one point, I was so close to cumming, I had to quickly pull out and strangle my dick at the base. Charlotte gave me an odd sort of look, so I just smiled and told her I was a little too excited. She smiled in response, and I went back to work. But after stopping myself, I now had the opposite problem: I was losing my erection yet again.

Rather than try to get it back (which I've learned is pointless), I asked her if she enjoyed the oral sex, and she claimed she did. So I asked if she wanted more, and she happily agreed. So once again, I positioned myself between her legs and went back to work. As I did, I couldn't believe what I was hearing on the other side of the bed. Ron was on top of Kathleen, fucking her, and I could hear them whispering, but couldn't quite hear what they were saying. At one point, though, I heard Kathleen mutter the word "face" and I knew exactly what she had requested. She actually asked him to cum on her face!

This little request got me incredibly excited once again, and when I saw Ron move into position, straddling her face while stroking his cock, I nearly lost it. After what I thought may have been an orgasm from Charlotte (it was still difficult to tell), I moved into position, kneeling next to her face, and she happily took me in her mouth. As she did so, my eyes were glued to the action on the other side of the bed. Ron alternated between jerking off over her face and inserting his dick in her mouth. Every once in awhile, Karen would bring her head forward and deepthroat him, eliciting a nice, low groan. At one point, Ron grabbed her hair and fucked her face.

I couldn't take anymore. I could feel myself right on the edge of ecstasy, so I gave Charlotte a warning, telling her I was going to cum. I figured she would redirect my cock toward her tits, or stop altogether, which would signal to me that she wanted to be fucked again. But a third option never occurred to me: she kept sucking.

I figured maybe she didn't hear me, so I said it again: "I'm going to cum." And again, she kept sucking. Just for good measure, I gave her a third warning, just seconds before I exploded into her throat. It felt so tremendous, I practically screamed. And I came in wave after wave, to the point where I didn't think it would end! I really thought she would choke or gag, but she swallowed every drop without a problem. It was an incredibly erotic experience, and one I never thought I would experience.

I thanked her, and we dressed and left the room, allowing Ron and Kathleen to have some privacy. And while they continued to play on the bed, Charlotte and I had a very nice conversation in her kitchen. Eventually, we ventured back upstairs to find Ron and Kathleen sprawled out on their backs, looking drained.

Tracie and Bobby

2010-05-17T00:09:00.002-04:00

Thanks to an incredibly hectic schedule and a variety of health-related issues, Kathleen and I haven't had much of a chance to play for what seems like an eternity. Two posts ago, I recounted how we had hooked up with another couple (we'll call them "Tracie and Bobby") in the swing room at a house party, which turned into an awkward sixsome, where I had trouble performing. Since that time, Tracie has been very proactive in reaching out to me. We've chatted online, made arrangements for dinner together with the four of us, and ultimately made a "date" to meet at the same house party this past Friday night.

In the six weeks between those two house parties, I finally got around to taking the blood test my doctor had ordered way back in February during my annual physical. Since I had asked him for a Cialis prescription, he requested a Testosterone test. To my great surprise, that test revealed I have "low T." Given that I had spent the majority of my adult life suffering from almost constant horniness, I never thought low Testosterone would ever be a problem for me. It's excruciatingly ironic (not to mention cruel) that now that I'm at a point in my life where I'm allowed to live every sexual fantasy I've ever had, my body has abandoned me.

I haven't yet been able to take the medication my doctor prescribed (thanks to problems with our insurance company), but nonetheless I felt incredibly confident that I wouldn't have any problems performing on Friday, even with my "low T." I felt more comfortable with Tracie and Bobby, and preferred a simple foursome to the sixsome we experienced the last time.

When we arrived at the party, they were already there. We chatted with them for a long time before the four of us finally headed into a room. Kathleen and I got naked immediately, and she began sucking my cock while Tracie and Bobby went at it on the other side of the bed. It took me awhile to get going, but eventually I felt confident enough to break away from Kathleen. Tracie was lying on her back, with Bobby going down on her, and I scooted over to their side of the bed and stuck my hard cock in Tracie's mouth.

That gave Bobby the "green light," and he made a bee-line toward Kathleen. Within seconds, he had strapped on a condom, and was lying on his back, with Kathleen riding him on top. Meanwhile, I was still pumping myself into Tracie's mouth, and was still pretty hard. But for some reason, I began to lose it. Maybe it was all the drinks we'd had before we entered the room. Maybe I was too distracted by what Kathleen was doing. Maybe it was my low Testosterone kicking in. Maybe it was that nagging feeling I always seem to have when we're in a swapping situation with another couple that I'm losing the "competition" with the other male in the room.

Whatever it was, I could feel my enthusiasm begin to fade. So, I began to go down on Tracie, figuring that if I just ignored it for awhile, I'd get it back eventually. I worked my "tongue magic" on Tracie, and she really seemed to enjoy herself. I was down there for a very long time, and all the while, Kathleen and Bobby continued fucking and sucking each other on the other side of the bed.

After what seemed like a very long time, I finally came up for air, with my dick as limp as could be. I just couldn't understand what went wrong, but I tried not to focus on it. Instead, I moved over to Kathleen, who was being fucked from behind by Bobby. I stuck my dick in her mouth as Bobby pounded away, and in no time I had regained my hard-on.

Bobby then turned his attention to Tracie, and began fucking her. At this point, Kathleen and I weren't sure what to do, so she positioned herself behind Bobby and fingered his balls while he entered his wife, while sucking me at the same time. But after awhile, Kathleen dressed to take a bathroom break, leaving me in the room with the two of them. I wasn't sure what to do at that point, and my hard-on disappeared again. So I just stood there awkwardly until Kathleen returned.

When she finally returned, she dropped to her knees once again, and yet again managed to bring me to a very hard state of arousal. I then tapped Bobby on the shoulder and told him it was my turn to fuck his wife. But by the time I found a condom and strapped it on, my dick was completely limp.

Meanwhile, Kathleen had convinced Bobby to lie on his back to receive the world's greatest blowjob. I thought that would get me going, but it didn't. Tracie was lying on her back, legs spread, just begging me to enter her, but as much as I tried to get myself going, it only seemed to make the situation worse. So eventually I gave up, and told Tracie it just wasn't going to happen.

Ironically, Bobby also went limp at that moment, which only added to the anticlimax. So, all in all, it was a disappointing night for everyone involved. I wasn't able to perform as I had hoped, Tracie didn't get to enjoy me as much as she has hoped, Kathleen didn't get to enjoy Bobby to the fullest, and Bobby didn't get to finish what he had started.

When I think back on all the times we've had so far, I'm dumbfounded by how many times we've experienced male impotence -- either by myself or the other guy. Kathleen has now been with eight different guys since we entered the lifestyle, and only three of them have been fully erect for her. And only two of those three were able to finish with her. So based on that sample alone, I don't feel so alone.

On the other hand, I can't help but wonder why I'm not part of that small group of guys that is able to perform in swapping situations. I have been involved in the most incredible, erotic experiences imaginable over the past several months, yet I feel like I haven't been able to enjoy myself. I am really hoping that my new medication does the trick, and I return to my old self in short order.

BBC

2010-04-05T10:58:00.000-04:00

(No, this isn't a post about the British Broadcasting Corporation.)

After that embarrassing little episode at the house party on Friday night, Kathleen and I hung out and chatted a little more with a few of the people still milling around outside of the playrooms. It was late, and a few people were starting to head home. One of the guys we had talked to earlier that evening was an enormous black guy who stood at least 6'6" tall, with massive hands and size-18 shoes. Given all the stereotypes that go with that description, it was a safe bet that this single guy had been invited to this party for reasons other than his charming personality.

This guy (we'll call him "Mr. Big") was heading home for the night, and stopped to say good-bye to us as we stood outside on the back porch. He was clearly taken with Kathleen, and suggested to her, "Maybe we could get together sometime." Kathleen responded, "It's too bad you're going home now." Mr. Big's eyes widened, and a smile broke out on his face.

"Well, I don't HAVE to go home right now," he said.

"Let's head back inside and chat," Kathleen responded.

At this point, it was clear what was about to happen, but I think Kathleen wanted to tease him a little bit and play "hard-to-get." So she grilled him with questions about himself, his motivations, what he does for a living, etc.. Finally, after about 10 minutes of questioning, Mr. Big took her by the hand and practically pulled her into one of the private rooms. Of course, I tagged along, too. I wouldn't have missed this show for all the money in the world!

Although Kathleen stood between us in the room, I may as well not have been there for awhile, as the two of them were completely focused on each other. At some point, Kathleen had undone his pants and pushed them down a bit, exposing what we all suspected from the beginning: this guy was hung like an elephant. His dick must have been at least 9 inches long and 3-4 inches in girth. But Kathleen seemed completely unfazed by it. After stroking him with her hand for awhile, she dropped to her knees, and to my utter shock and amazement, she took all nine inches into the back of her throat.

"No F'ing way," I said, prompting Kathleen to withdraw his cock from her throat for a moment to smile at me and say, "Oh, yeah."

Although I'd been unable to get a hard-on less than an hour before, while standing in a room full of naked people having sex, with three different women sucking my cock, I now inexplicably found myself with a raging hard-on. Kathleen was clearly enjoying sucking his cock (as was Mr. Big), but after awhile I felt a bit neglected. So I tapped her on the shoulder and said, "Hello? Remember me?"

She laughed, and turned to suck my cock for a short while, while Mr. Big completely undressed. We then undressed, and moved over to the bed, where I kneeled in front of her while Mr. Big strapped on the biggest condom I'd ever seen. While Kathleen continued to suck away at my cock, Mr. Big entered Kathleen from behind, causing her to moan loudly. It was such a huge turn-on for me, just watching this scene unfold. I've seen countless porn movies of suburban wives who get fucked by a "BBC" while their husbands watch. I just never, ever thought I would participate in such a scene.

Kathleen really seemed to enjoy having his massive dick inside her, and after awhile she couldn't concentrate on both of us at the same time. She took my cock out of her mouth and begged him to fuck her hard. This, it turned out, was a mistake on her part. Later that evening, she explained that it really hurt when he was thrusting so hard into her.

When Mr. Big took a break from thrusting, I suggested we switch places. He then stood on the floor beside the bed while I entered Kathleen from behind. Her ass looked so amazing, and she was so wet, I thought I was going to cum immediately. But I held off for as long as I could, wanting to savor the moment for as long as possible.

While I fucked her, Kathleen went back to work on him with her mouth, and his intense moaning told me he was loving every second of it. Kathleen then stopped for a moment, looked up at him, and asked, "Are you going to cum for me?" Mr. Big responded by grabbing her head and shoving his cock so far down her throat, she could barely breathe.

Kathleen bobbed her head up and down on his cock quicker and quicker, until he nearly shouted. His white-hot cum filled her mouth and overflowed onto her chin and neck. It was too much for me to handle, and I pumped her pussy harder and harder until I, too, came with an earth-shattering orgasm, filling her with cum.

Kathleen then flipped around and cleaned my cock from top to bottom, with another man's cum still decorating her lips, chin, neck and tits. It was by far the dirtiest, most erotic experience I have ever had.

Kathleen continues to surprise me every day. I absolutely LOVE the fact that she has become such a dirty slut -- and the sluttier she becomes, the more it turns me on. I have no idea why, but it is what it is.

The Yips

2010-04-03T22:59:00.000-04:00

In sports, you sometimes hear the phrase "he has a case of the yips." What this means is that a player has developed a mental block that makes it virtually impossible for him to complete a routine task that he has performed thousands of times in the past. Chuck Knoblauch, Rick Ankiel and Mackey Sasser are three prime examples from the world of baseball, as each player developed a "yip" when it came to the routine task of simply throwing a baseball. As a former ballplayer myself, I can verify that the yips are, in fact, real. One season, I found myself unable to throw a ball back to the pitcher from my position as catcher. This became such a problem for me that I wasn't able to play that position for the rest of the season.

Some people are more susceptible to the yips than others. Having contracted the yips once before, I know that I am probably part of that "high-risk" group of people who are likely to contract this dreaded condition again.

I mention all of this because I have no doubt whatsoever that I have developed a yip when it comes to swinging. For reasons that I cannot explain (and believe me, I've spent HOURS thinking about this over the past several months), I simply cannot get an erection when I'm in a swinging situation with another couple. This has happened (in various degrees) every time Kathleen and I have been with another couple, and it happened again last night.

Having enjoyed our first house party experience a few weeks ago, Kathleen and I decided to check out a different house party a little closer to home last night. We arrived to find a small group of people chatting in a very subdued atmosphere. For most of the night, it seemed as though we probably would not be swinging with anyone, as neither of us were particularly attracted to anyone at the party. But we had a great time just hanging out and chatting with a great group of people.

Later in the night, I excused myself to go to the rest room, and noticed that it was occupied. Standing outside the door was a woman, and we struck up a conversation as she waited for her husband. She was somewhat attractive, and she seemed interested in me, so I was enjoying our flirty interaction. On a whim, I leaned in and kissed her, and she returned my kiss with great enthusiasm and passion. It was such a hot moment, I found myself instantly sporting a rock-hard erection.

Now, for the past several weeks, I've been telling myself that my problems of the past are over, and this erection confirmed that for me. The woman's husband eventually came out of the bathroom to find his wife making out with a stranger in the hallway. We exchanged pleasantries, and went our separate ways.

When I came out of the bathroom, I found Kathleen and told her what had happened. She was completely turned on just hearing about my story, and insisted that I go and find this woman immediately. So I took a stroll downstairs, found her, and we picked up our flirting/making-out where we had left off. Eventually, Kathleen joined us, and the woman's husband took an immediate interest in her.

Another couple had joined us at this point, and I soon found myself sandwiched between two women, as we all took turns kissing and fondeling each other. All six of us then headed into the nearest playroom, where the woman I had originally been making out with dropped to her knees and began sucking my cock.

Back in the days when situations like this one were nothing but a fantasy (or a scene in a porn movie), I would have become instantly aroused just thinking about such a thing. But there I was, in a room full of naked people, with my wife to my left, on her knees in front of a man she had just met, and a woman I had just met on her knees in front of me, practically begging my cock to come to life...and I was completely limp.

Once again, I found myself in the awkward position of having to explain that it sometimes takes me awhile to get going. I asked my play partner to lie down on the bed, and I proceeded to go down on her, bringing her to a very wet orgasm. Like Kathleen, this woman was a squirter -- only more so. Normally, it would be a huge turn-on for me to give a woman such pleasure. But in this case, it did nothing for me. I remained as limp as ever.

While I was going down on my new friend, Kathleen's play partner had left her to fuck the third woman in the room, leaving Kathleen on her knees, staring up at a man she had never met. "Hi, I'm Kathleen," she said. And instead of shaking hands, she sucked his cock. Such is the life of a swinger. That one-liner evoked big laughs in the room, and it should have eased whatever tension I had felt. But in all honesty, I wasn't feeling tense or nervous. The only thing causing me any anxiety whatsoever was the fact that I couldn't get a hard-on. I had contracted "the yips" all over again.

The third woman in the room was the next to attempt to get me hard, and she, too, failed. Next, Kathleen strolled over and gave it her best shot. If she couldn't do it, no one could. And she couldn't. Three different women had taken turns sucking me off, and I was no closer to an erection than I was when I'd entered the room. The situation defied all logic whatsoever. We gathered our clothes and escaped from the room with as much dignity remaining as possible.

I have weighed every excuse imaginable to explain this latest case of the yips, and each and every one fails the test. They say the yips are caused by fear, yet I honestly cannot think of anything that I fear in those situations -- except the inability to perform, which I wouldn't feel if I didn't have the yips! It is beyond humiliating -- it is permanently scarring my ego. And I really don't know how many more times I can get back on that bicycle and try to push through it.

I've tried every trick in the book, from taking medication, to practicing relaxation techniques, to focusing completely on my own pleasure, to adopting a carefree attitude that no matter what happens I'll find a way to have fun. Nothing works. But I WANT to make it work SO badly, I can taste it. I am living every man's fantasy. It is absolutely foolish that I'm not able to fully enjoy myself. And I'm bound and determined to find a way to make this work.

The shocking twist to this story is that less than an hour after this episode occurred, I was rock hard and having fantastic sex in a different playroom. But that's a story for another time.

A Night of Firsts

2010-03-21T16:36:00.000-04:00

Last night, Kathleen and I went to our first house party. It was just the first of many "firsts" we would experience that night. When we arrived at the party, 15-20 minutes early, we were surprised to discover that the house was already filled with people. And what a strange-looking assortment of people it was.

As soon as we walked through the door, all eyes were upon us. It was almost like one of those scenes in a movie where the music scratches to a halt and everyone in the room turns toward a common point of interest -- in this case, us. Now...Kathleen and I don't consider ourselves to be supermodels, but we do think we're pretty attractive, and we work hard to keep ourselves in decent shape. We certainly aren't snobs when it comes to the lifestyle, and we aren't looking for the ubiquitous "Ken & Barbie" to swap with. But physical attraction certainly helps when you're having sex with someone.

This group of people couldn't have been nicer. They were friendly, outgoing, funny, kind, and down-to-earth. But to say they were not an attractive lot would be putting it very, very kindly. Some were much older than us, some had missing teeth, and nearly every person at the party, both male and female, weighed at least 50 pounds more than they should.

Again...we're not snobs. We really aren't. And we thoroughly enjoyed talking to every person at that party throughout the night. But we stuck out like sore thumbs -- especially Kathleen, who was like a big slab of prime rib thrown into the middle of a pack of hungry wolves. And Kathleen being Kathleen, she thoroughly enjoyed being the center of attention!

After receiving a tour of the house, which included two "private" play rooms and one "open" room, I poured us a couple of Captain-and-Cokes and we stood in the corner, thoroughly enjoying the people-watching. After a few minutes, a short guy with graying hair introduced himself as "Tom," and we had a nice conversation with him. He was a decent-looking guy, but more importantly to Kathleen, he was a nice guy with a good personality, and he really seemed to like her. It wasn't long before several others approached us, and we shook a lot of hands and exchanged a lot of chit-chat.

Heading into this party, I told Kathleen that I had no idea what this night would be like. It could be a total disaster, or it could be the best night of our lives. Either way, we'd have a great story to share for years to come. Kathleen had been particularly horny for days leading up to the party. And while playing together one night, she mentioned for the first time the possibility of hooking up with a single guy at this party. When we first began swapping, we both agreed that we would only swap with other couples, and that we had no interest in single guys whatsoever. So this new development was a little bit of a shock -- although I've grown so used to being shocked by Kathleen over the past few months that nothing shocks me anymore.

We talked about ground rules if such a thing were to happen, and she said she'd like me to be in the room -- mostly for safety reasons. I agreed that if we got to this party and there were no couples we were interested in, but if she found a single guy she liked, we would find a way to make this happen. Just the thought of it seemed to put a twinkle in her eye.

After a couple of hours of chatting and mingling (and after a couple of C&C's and a couple of shots), Kathleen really began to loosen up, and her chatting with Tom became a little more flirty. A light touch of the arm here, a rub of the back there. It wasn't long before I turned around, and the two of them were making out. I don't mind at all when Kathleen makes out with another guy -- in fact, it turns me on. But it's always a bit awkward, as I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing while that's taking place. I usually just stand there with a smile on my face, trying not to stare at them.

At this point, I realized that the little discussions we'd been having leading up to the party was about to become a reality. So, when they came up for air, I suggested we move to one of the private rooms. Tom happily agreed, of course. We stood outside the private room door for quite awhile, waiting for the two couples in the room to finish their business. And while we waited, several people passed us in the hallway -- each one stopping to chat with Kathleen, who was quickly becoming the most popular girl at the party.

One guy, John, was on his way up the stairs when he stopped dead in his tracks and introduced himself to Kathleen. "You are absolutely gorgeous, by the way," he said. Just then, the door opened and the two couples poured out in various states of disarray. Tom headed through the door first, and as Kathleen and I followed, Kathleen turned to John and said, "Wanna join us?" I nearly swallowed my tongue in shock, and John just had this look on his face, as if to say, "Seriously?" He then validated that look by saying, "Seriously?" "Yeah," Kathleen said, and headed into the room. I looked at John, shrugged my shoulders, and headed into the room, and John eagerly followed.

So now, our first MFM experience had quickly turned into our first MFMM experience, with Kathleen thoroughly enjoying her role as the center of attention. I had no idea what to do, so while the guys were prepping the bed, I undressed Kathleen. As soon as I took off her shirt, John was all over her, kissing her passionately. He then unsnapped her bra with one swift motion, and Kathleen was clearly impressed. This new guy had clearly done this sort of thing before.

As soon as her bra came off, I heard a gasp coming from Tom, who simply uttered, "Oh. My. God." I helped Kathleen out of her jeans, and in no time she was completely naked, with both Tom and John kissing and touching her everywhere. While they continued, I completely undressed. I then took Kathleen's hand and led her to the bed, lying her on her back so that she could suck my cock while our two new friends occupied themselves with her tits and pussy.

With my cock in her mouth, Kathleen began moaning while John liked her pussy. Tom then took his turn, while John moved to her tits. After awhile, I told her to flip over onto all fours. I then fucked her from behind, while Tom and John took turns sticking their dicks in her mouth. Kathleen was obviously in heaven by this point, and both guys let out loud moans as she worked on them so expertly.

"She is freaking incredible!," John said at one point. At another point, Tom remarked on her amazing skills, and as I continued to fuck her, I reached over and pushed her head deep into Tom's cock, causing another huge moan. Kathleen turned her attention to John, and she was sucking him so hard and deep, he said he was going to cum. "Go ahead," I said. "She loves it in her mouth." But he pulled away, out of breath, and clearly trying to stem the tide of orgasm.

I then asked, "Who's next?" Tom quickly grabbed a condom and moved into position, while I switched places with him. And as he entered Kathleen with his thick cock, she moaned so exquisitely on my dick, causing me to moan as well. "She likes it hard," I instructed Tom, and he complied with a few hard thrusts, causing Kathleen to utter a few dirty phrases. "Oh, yes! Fuck me hard! Oh, god, yes!"

After awhile, Tom pulled out, and Kathleen flipped onto her back. John then positioned himself to her side and inserted a couple of fingers into her pussy. And that is what led to our next big "first" of the night. For the past several weeks, Kathleen has had a fascination with squirting. She has never done it, and didn't know if she was capable of it. But she wanted to find a girl who can squirt, simply to see it, and because she found it to be really hot.

Well...after only a few seconds of having Tom's fingers in her pussy, Kathleen began bucking up and down and moaning like a woman possessed. And as the room filled with the sound of extremely wet thrusting, John announced, "Oh yeah -- we've got a squirter here."

"What??," I said. "Show me how you did that!"

And for the next several minutes, he gave me a lesson on how to make Kathleen squirt. I still haven't mastered it, but I am getting there. One of the many joys of swapping is learning new "tricks," and this was certainly an incredible learning experience for both of us.

After she squirted the first (of several) times, I fucked her, and was absolutely amazed how wet she was. Tom fucked her next, and after a few minutes, pulled out and came all over her belly, to Kathleen's delight. John then took over again and managed to make her squirt once again. With all four of us now exhausted, it was time to towel off and get some fresh air.

It's safe to say that last night was Kathleen's favorite night of swapping since we entered the lifestyle. She LOVES being the center of attention, and I love seeing her enjoy herself so immensely.

Back in the Saddle Again

2010-03-16T00:03:00.000-04:00

When we first ventured into the world of swinging, I pictured this vast underground network of couples and select singles scouring the internet, hungry to meet horny couples like us. As it turns out, swinging is a much slower-moving, methodical, thoughtful exercise than one would think. We joined Adult Friend Finder back in December or January, and in three or four months, we've managed to meet just two couples face-to-face for drinks.

The first couple to meet us, Gina and Ron, were friendly, outgoing, relaxed and attractive. Gina, in particular, caught both my eye and Kathleen's, both in pictures and in person. I was anxious to be with her, and Kathleen was equally anxious for me to be with her. In fact, we both thought that Gina might be the one with whom Kathleen would finally get to share her first truly bisexual experience.

After meeting them for drinks, both Kathleen and I felt that we definitely enjoyed each other's company, but that it would most likely be a platonic friendship, as there didn't seem to be any "sparks" whatsoever between us. When we returned home, we sent them a quick note to let them know we enjoyed meeting them. And after a few days passed without hearing from them, we assumed they had decided to move on. It happens.

But to our surprise and delight, they eventually replied, and said they, too, enjoyed our company and would like to meet again sometime. Kathleen and I are both very shy by nature, but we've been trying to be more assertive lately, as it seems to fit better in the lifestyle. So, we replied that we would love to meet the following week, and that we would be open to simply meeting for drinks or "playing" -- whichever was comfortable for them. This was a BOLD move for us.

We then waited for several days. After not receiving a reply, we wondered if maybe we had scared them off. But after three or four days had passed, they replied, and suggested we meet for dinner. It was such a casual invite, with no mention of our offer to "play," that we both assumed it would be another platonic get-together. Truth be told, we enjoyed their company so much, we were fine with that.

We met last night for dinner, and as usual we enjoyed their conversation and company. And as usual, neither one of us received any "vibe" whatsoever that either of them was interested in us, sexually. At the end of the meal, we sat around the table for another 10-15 minutes, chatting about the weather, movies, sports -- anything but sex. We fully expected them to thank us for another wonderful evening, and we'd be off on our separate ways. Then, out of the blue, Ron asked if we'd like to go back to their place.

Ka-ching!

Now...it has been a long time since "The Incident," yet it is still fresh in my mind. I obsessed about that incident for weeks thereafter, picking apart every minute detail of what had transpired, tossing out theory upon theory to explain what happened, and searching my soul as to the cause of the incident. And after weeks upon weeks of soul-searching, I was no closer to solving that mystery. But I was determined to bury it in the past, relax, have fun, and just enjoy our next experience, no matter who it was with.

Nevertheless, as we followed Gina and Ron home last night, The Incident itched away at the back of my brain, in a place where I could not reach it. No matter how much I convince myself, no matter how much effort I put into "relaxing," it is always there, itching away at the back of my brain.

We arrived at their place, and Ron prepared some very potent margaritas for the four of us. We then sat around their livingroom, engaging in more small talk. After 45 minutes or so, Ron finally broke the ice and suggested laying out a mattress in the middle of the livingroom in front of the fireplace. All four of us then lay on the mattress, and Kathleen and I began to make out. I closed my eyes and tried to pretend that we were alone in the room. Kathleen slid her hand down my pants and fondled me.

But there was no reaction.

Uh-oh.

It was happening again. Kathleen unbuckled my pants, slid them down around my ankles, and wrapped her warm mouth around my cock. I closed my eyes, took several deep breaths, and tried to relax.

No dice.

At this point, I began thinking two things: 1) how do we escape from this situation with a shred of dignity?, and 2) how are we going to go back to living a "vanilla" lifestyle after sharing this incredible experience for the past few months? Because there was no way I was going to put myself in this situation again. Clearly, I just wasn't cut out for swinging.

But then...I opened my eyes and noticed Gina had reached over and was slowly caressing Kathleen's body. And Ron's arm was doing the same. The line had been crossed. So I reached my hand over and began caressing Gina's body while Ron was going down on her. And (cue the Hallelujah Chorus), my dick finally began showing some signs of life.

I wasn't yet fully aroused, but I was well on my way, when Kathleen stopped what she was doing. Ron flipped Gina around and began fucking her from behind, while Kathleen knelt in front of them, caressing both of their bodies. Taking her lead, I then knelt in front of Gina, hoping she would give me some head while her husband fucked her. Sure enough, after she spent some time kissing Kathleen, she began sucking my cock.

After awhile, Ron stopped fucking his wife and made his way over to mine, while his wife continued to suck away at my cock with a thrilling sort of hunger. She was so eager, and so enthusiastic, that I felt myself quickly coming to the verge of orgasm. So I gently nudged her away, and said, "Your turn."

She laughed, and lay down in front of me. I then began gently licking and sucking her pussy, while I could feel Kathleen stroking my balls from behind. Gina began moaning, and really began to enjoy herself when I worked my way up to her clit. As I began working my tongue harder and faster, I inserted a couple of fingers in her soaking-wet pussy and began to stroke her from the inside while my mouth and tongue worked the outside. Incredibly, within seconds, she was telling the entire room she was going to cum.

After bucking around furiously for a moment, she eventually settled down, with my tongue still pressed hard, but still, against her clit. By this time, Kathleen had flipped Ron onto his back, and was showing him her unique oral skills. His intense moaning was enough to put a smile on my face, as I knew exactly what he was feeling at that moment. At one point, he was moaning so loud, I actually thought he came in her mouth. But he was simply enjoying himself.

Meanwhile, Gina was still lying on her back, reveling in the afterglow of orgasm. Eventually, when enough blood had rushed back into her head, she ordered me to lie back and relax, while she went down on me. Although I had returned to semi-flacidness when she began, her quick tongue and unusual eagerness had me back at full erection within seconds. And once again, I felt another orgasm approaching quickly.

I don't know why this happens to me in swapping situations, but it has happened almost every time now. Normally, it take me quite awhile to work my way up to orgasm, but in the few swapping experiences we've had, I reach that point at an embarrassingly early point -- sometimes before I've ever become fully erect! It's just yet another one of those swapping mysteries that I may never solve.

Forced once again to ask Gina to stop, I squeezed my cock, trying to stop myself from coming. Thankfully, it worked. As I lay there squeezing myself, I noticed that Ron had taken a very bold move that I would have never thought to do in a swapping situation for the first time with a new couple: with Kathleen lying on her back, Ron straddled her face and was fucking her mouth.

Inspired by this incredibly bold act, I assumed this act was now in play for both of us. So, with Gina lying back in a perfect position to be straddled, I did just that. And to my absolute delight, Gina REALLY got into it. As I fucked her mouth, she began moaning loudly -- which only heightened my enjoyment. At one point, she grabbed my ass and forced me to fuck her mouth harder. Once again, I could not do this for very long before I felt that annoying, intrusive orgasm quickly buiding within me once again.

So, reluctantly, and while cursing my own dick, I pulled out and asked her if I could put on a condom. "Sure," she said, rather casually. While searching for one, I lost a bit of my hard-on, so after unwrapping it, I returned to my former position, straddling and fucking her face until I was sufficiently hard. I then strapped on the condom and entered her, hearing that exquisite moan upon the moment of entry.

I couldn't help myself at that point, so I began fucking her hard and deep -- which she really seemed to enjoy. I know how Kathleen loves the sound of hard fucking, and I knew it was driving her crazy at that moment. I then switched it up, and fucked Gina while grinding my pelvic bone into her clit (a move I had just recently learned drove Kathleen nuts.) Gina responded with more loud moans of approval.

While I fucked his wife, Ron had disappeared, and then reappeared with a condom of his own. He soon began fucking Kathleen, missionary-style. I continued fucking Gina while watching Ron plow my wife with her legs spread high in the air. It was absolutely intoxicating to watch.

After fucking Gina for a bit longer, I began to get distracted by a number of things: the action taking place to my right, the fact that my mouth felt like a cotton ball, and the intuitive sense that Gina's endurance for fucking had been exhausted. I eventually stopped fucking her and began slowly massaging her clit with my fingers. After awhile, I moved back into position with my mouth, while Ron flipped Kathleen onto all fours and began drilling her from behind. Incredibly, just as Ron began to shout the loudest orgasm I've ever heard, Gina had one of her own.

It was an incredible, amazing night in so many ways. In retrospect, it was probably the most enjoyable swapping experience I've had to date. Most importantly, it was a step in the right direction. It took me awhile to get there, but the important point is that I eventually got there. And I'm getting better at this swinging thing. I now have no doubt whatsoever that I will eventually get to the point where swinging is as natural to me as sex with my wife. And I look forward to the day when I am just as relaxed, and enjoy myself just as much, in swinging situations as I do in private. Baby steps. Baby steps.

Getting into the swing of things

2010-02-12T22:05:00.000-05:00

It has been almost a month since "the incident," and I've had a lot of time to think. In fact, I have spent SO much time thinking about what happened, and why it happened, that it became somewhat of an obsession. But I'm feeling better now. And I am anxious to get back in the saddle and prove to myself that I can make this work. It just seems so silly to me. I spent so many years fantasizing about these amazing, erotic sexual situations that I thought would never, ever happen to me. And now that it's actually happening, I'm so flustered I can't perform? It just doesn't make any sense.

Over the past few weeks, I've come to realize that I've been approaching this lifestyle from a completely wrong angle. I've been so wrapped up in Kathleen and her enjoyment of this experience that I haven't taken the time to enjoy it myself. I've actually felt too guilty to enjoy myself, and I now realize how silly it was. There we were in that hotel room, and Kathleen was SO wrapped up in the guy she was with that she didn't even notice I was in the room. And yet, there I was in the bed next to her, feeling too guilty to enjoy the beautiful, naked woman lying next to me. It's foolish, and I now realize it.

But I get it now. I understand that not only is Kathleen okay with me enjoying myself, she actually gets off on it -- the same way I get off on seeing her enjoy herself. It just seems so unnatural. When we were on vacation, it was a completely different situation. We were loose and relaxed and drinking way too much, and it was all about having fun and letting go. Now that we're no longer on vacation, it seems like we should be more serious. But, really, why should it be any different? Why shouldn't we have the same mindset?

I have spent the past few weeks "flirting" with various couples on Adult Friend Finder and Swappernet, hoping to hook up with someone new. There are several swinger parties I'd like to attend, but Kathleen's schedule gets in the way. I just feel like I need to "get a win under my belt" (to use the sports vernacular.) Just one win, and I would feel so much more confident, and so much more relaxed. I know I can do it. I just need to play the game.

Put me in, Coach! I'm ready!

Failure to launch

2010-01-25T12:52:00.000-05:00

I wasn't going to continue this blog after last night's experience. But I'm hoping that some day Kathleen and I can look back on this entry and laugh. And I find that I need to get the words out of my head so that maybe I can move on.

After waiting for so long for the 23rd to come, the big night finally arrived. I was excited, aroused, and sexually charged beyond belief. But when the four of us stripped off our clothes and broke off into pairs, I wasn't able to get an erection. At all. Not even close.

I cannot explain why it happened (though I do have about 1,001 theories.) I have obsessed over it since it happened, and I cannot stop thinking about it. I have even questioned whether I am cut out for the lifestyle.
And it is breaking my heart.

Since we embarked on this journey together, Kathleen and I have had SO much fun, shopping for "play partners" online, having dinner and drinks with potential "fuck-buddies", going to clubs and dancing, meeting new people, buying and wearing sexy clothing, taking sexy photos, and -- most of all -- fantasizing and talking about the adventures that lie ahead of us. We have assembled a mental "bucket list" of all the crazy, erotic things we would love to do before we're too old and gray. But because my dick refuses to cooperate, all of that fun, and all of those fantasies, are now in jeopardy.

Jay and Kate couldn't have been any nicer, or more empathetic, or more understanding of my situation. And Kathleen had a tremendous time with Jay, sucking, fucking and fondling each other in their bed while Kate and I lay awkwardly in our bed for over an hour, trying to breathe some life into my limp member. I have never endured a more embarrassing incident in my life, and I have no desire whatsoever to relive that moment. I can't even imagine facing Jay and Kate again, never mind putting myself into a situation where I would be expected to perform in front of the same couple. If I were to fail again in that situation, my ego would be permanently damaged (if it hasn't been already.)

I have been on the precipice of an emotional breakdown since that incident, replaying the events of the evening as they happened, picking apart each and every detail in order to solve the mystery of what went wrong. I have an endless list of theories and excuses, but in the end, I have no rational explanation.
My first thought is that perhaps there is something physically wrong with me. (Although I have had no trouble at all achieving an erection with Kathleen alone.) So I've made an appointment with my doctor, and will ask him for a prescription for Cialis. I already have a stash of Cialis pills from our vacation to Mexico, but I am now questioning whether those pills are legit. As I was so excited about that night, I didn't think I would need any, but I took a full Cialis pill before we arrived at our hotel, just in case. The last time I took a full Cialis pill, I got a full erection by simply thinking of sex. But even that didn't work.

On a more positive note, Kathleen had a tremendous time with Jay, and I enjoyed watching her. She said that when they were slow-dancing in the club, she was so hot, she was ready to go right then and there. And later in the room, she was so locked in with him, she didn't even realize anyone else was in the room. I have to admit, in all honesty, that this bothered me a bit. I have no problem whatsoever with Kathleen enjoying herself sexually -- in fact, I encourage it. But there was something about their connection that bothered me.

In our past swapping experiences, it was all about fun and sex. This time, I felt it was getting a little too serious on the other side of the room. There was too much kissing, we were too far apart to touch each other, and Kathleen didn't even glance at me. Kathleen and I have talked about this, and she explained that there was no emotional connection between her and Jay whatsoever. She was simply wrapped up in the moment, enjoying his company on a pure sexual level. And she didn't want to look at me, because she thought it would only make my problem worse. I completely accept her explanation 100%, and I have no doubt whatsoever that she is telling the truth. But a tiny red light still blinks somewhere within the depths of my brain, warning me that something is not right.

Kathleen is a VERY easy woman to fall in love with. She is absolutely beautiful, and has such a warm, caring, inviting personality, you'd be a fool not to love her. Toss in the fact that she has a great body and is tremendously talented, giving and passionate in bed, and it becomes clear that she is the total package. I hit the lottery when she agreed to spend the rest of her life with me. So I cannot help but question: why on earth am I "loaning her out" to other men?

We entered into this lifestyle with the agreement that as long as we were doing this strictly for fun, excitement and great sex, and as long as we always came back to each other in the end, then we would continue down this path with no regrets and no hurt feelings. I'm still on board with that idea, and I still want to find a way to make it work.

It would devastate me to end this experiment and return to our "vanilla" lifestyle. This hobby of ours has re-energized our marriage in ways that I cannot explain, and has brought us closer than we have ever been before. If I can just convince my dick to relax a little and have some fun, I can only imagine the exciting times that lie ahead for us. But maybe my dick is telling me something my brain is too stupid to realize.

Our first trip to a swingers club

2010-01-10T16:30:00.000-05:00

With a rare opportunity to escape on a Saturday night, Kathleen and I tried to make several different plans. Eventually, we decided to go to the local swingers club and meet a couple we had met on Swappernet. We first heard about this club while sitting in the hot tub on our vacation, and our curiosity had been piqued ever since. We received a message from this couple the other day, asking us to meet with them, and when they mentioned they were planning to go to the club on Saturday night, all of our plans fell into place rather nicely.

We arrived at the club at around 9:00, and only a few couples had arrived. We sat at the bar, undoubtedly looking like a pair of nervous newbies, and simply took in the scenery, trying to get a feel for the place. Kathleen had dressed in her sexiest outfit: tight, black "skinny" jeans, high heels, and a low-cut blouse. She looked absolutely stunning, and I had no doubt that she would be a popular girl this night.

The club holds various theme nights each week, and the theme of this night was "men's dress shirt" night. Women eventually filtered into the club wearing nothing but their husband's dress shirt over a bra and panties. As the night wore on, the buttons on those shirts (including Kathleen's) eventually came unbuttoned, and some of the bras eventually came off. It was exhilarating just being in that atmosphere, where people were so free to express themselves sexually, and as the night wore on, the sexual energy of the place only intensified.

At around 10:00, we recognized the couple we had met online dancing together. We introduced ourselves and found a table with four chairs nearby. More often than not, you know immediately whether there is a sexual connection. Unfortunately with this couple, we knew instantly that the connection just wasn't there. As we sat around a small table with them, sharing casual chit-chat about the usual topics of conversation (where are you from, how long have you been in the lifestyle, how did you get into it, etc.), it became uncomfortable knowing that we would eventually need to find a way to break away from this couple.

After chatting for awhile (interrupted by long stretches of uncomfortable silence), they asked us to dance, and we complied. Kathleen danced with the husband, while I danced with the wife. She was an older woman with a soft body, and dancing with her reminded me of dancing with my aunt at a wedding. Needless to say, it wasn't an arousing visual. She tried to lock eyes with me, but I merely smiled politely and kept looking over at Kathleen, who was shooting daggers at me from her eyes. She obviously wasn't enjoying her dance partner, either.

It only became more uncomfortable from there, as the song changed, and the husband flipped Kathleen around and danced with her front-to-back, grinding his erection into her while fondling her tits. The wife then flipped around as well, and stood face-to-face with Kathleen, making a female sandwich. If we had been with a more alluring couple, it would have been an incredibly erotic experience. But as it was, we simply closed our eyes and made the best of it. For a few moments, it seemed as though Kathleen was enjoying herself, and it got me a bit excited watching her.

But when the song ended, and the husband and wife headed off to the bar, Kathleen and I basically looked at each other and said, "How do we get out of this?" Neither of us has ever been good at rejecting people, and we saw no way out of this situation that didn't involve hurting their feelings. But if there's no attraction between two couples, then there's no attraction. We're all adults, and we all understand how difficult it is to find sexual chemistry between two people -- never mind four.

Instead of confronting them with the harsh truth, Kathleen and I took the admittedly chickenshit way out. We eventually found an excuse to break away from them, and simply never returned. At the end of the night, the husband and wife came up to us, and we thanked them for meeting us. I'm not sure if that was the best way to handle it, but that was the least uncomfortable way to deal with it that we could devise. Eventually, I guess we'll get better at it.

The night wasn't a complete loss, as Kathleen and I enjoyed some very intense one-on-one time in the club, dancing and making out amongst all the other couples. It was just nice to be in such a sexually-charged atmosphere with so many other like-minded couples. And the mere fact that a possibility of being with another couple existed was enough to sustain us. It has been many, many years since either of us went out to a club with the possibility of hooking up with someone new. That potential alone is incredibly exciting, and we can't wait for that potential to become a reality. We just need to find the right couple. Hopefully, on the 23rd.

The Twenty-Third

2010-01-06T20:51:00.000-05:00

We're quickly approaching the two-month anniversary of our officially becoming "swingers." And even though we haven't swung since then, that will not be true for much longer. Shortly after Christmas, Kathleen and I visited a local bar where swingers often hang out, and we met a couple -- we'll call them "Jay" and "Kate." They were not only an attractive couple, but we seemed to "click" right away. Kate is a friendly Southern girl with an incredible body, and Jay is a good-looking guy who looks as though he spends a lot of time in the gym.

We hit it off immediately, enjoyed an engaging conversation, and the attraction between us was undeniable. We exchanged phone numbers at the end of the night, and soon thereafter began corresponding through Swappernet. Eventually, we received an invite to watch a football game at their place on Sunday afternoon, and for days prior to that event, Kathleen and I were incredibly excited and anxious. We got so worked up about it that we had trouble sleeping, and we were so incredibly horny throughout each day we couldn't keep our hands off each other.

Unfortunately, the night before the big day, Jay informed us that Kate was feeling under the weather, and we'd have to cancel our meeting. And with our schedules colliding over the next couple of weeks, we most likely will not see them until the 23rd. That is the date we have set for an impromptu dual-birthday celebration for the two of us.

The plan is to meet at a swingers club, where a strip club is located on the bottom floor. We'll do some drinking, dancing and lots of flirting. Then, at the end of the night, Jay and Kate are invited to spend some time with us at a nearly hotel. Jay and Kate have already agreed to it, and -- barring another illness or winter catastrophe -- it is a done deal.

So now, the anxiety and excitement begins anew (or, rather, continues unabated.) On our vacation, we shared a nervous excitement over the possibility of what might happen. This time, we know what will happen. And yet, that nervousness and excitement is almost unbearable. We cannot wait to be with this couple, and hope that it will lead to a long-term "friendship with benefits."

For my part, I am incredibly excited to finally see Kathleen with another woman. It is something we've fantasized about so many times, and now that day is just around the corner. Kate has already made it clear that she finds Kathleen attractive, so there is no question that something will happen. Kathleen is equally excited, but also anxious in wondering whether she will enjoy being with another woman. Even if nothing comes of it, it will be incredibly erotic to see Kathleen with another guy once again.

It will be a win-win situation no matter how I look at it, and the 23rd cannot get here quickly enough.

Still Searching

2009-12-02T23:59:00.000-05:00

So, we've been members of Swappernet for a while now, and we've received several invitations from several members to meet for drinks. But we've yet to find a couple that we are both interested in meeting. It is entirely possible that we're being too picky. After all, we're not marrying these people -- we just want to fuck them. Yet...we also want to make some sort of connection, and part of that connection is a physical attraction. And so far, we haven't found that "perfect match" -- or even a "close enough" match.

Kathleeen has put me "in charge" for the next month, giving me sole authority to decide what we do and who we do it with, and I intend to take full advantage of this opportunity. I have spent a lot of time (far too much time, quite frankly) browsing Swappernet, looking for a compatible couple. I've found a few couples (and one single female) that I think we'd like to meet, and I've been very proactive (relatively) in reaching out to those people. But so far, we've received only a lukewarm response.

Meanwhile, I continue to experience these intense flashbacks throughout the day (and night) about the things we did during our vacation. Kathleen devouring Ray's cock while I went down on her. Ray fucking Kathleen with her feet in the air and a bunch of pillows under her ass, with Kathleen screaming, on the verge of an intense orgasm. Kathleen, with her eyes closed and her mouth open, embraced in the corner of the hot tub with John, with their hands ands mouths all over each other. Kathleen sucking my cock, and then handing it over to Erika to continue the job. Kathleen taking a break from John to deepthroat me, getting me nice and hard so that I could fuck another woman. Ray coming all over Kathleen's face, ordering her to open her mouth, and (incredibly) Kathleen complying, swallowing his cum, and then taking him deep into her mouth, sucking him dry.

These images will forever be burned into my memory for as long as I live. But I can't help but think that even better memories lie ahead of us. I can't help but think that we haven't even scratched the surface in terms of our sexual exploration and fantasies. And I can't wait to get there. I'm a very impatient person by nature, and I want to experience these things as soon as possible.

Okay...now what?

2009-11-26T23:13:00.000-05:00

Officially, Kathleen and I have been "swingers" for over two weeks. So...now what? At the resort, it was easy to find couples who were more than willing to "play" with us. But here at home, we have jobs and kids and everything else that comes with a "normal" suburban life.

We met with our swinger friends the other night, and in the back of our minds we thought that meeting might have led somewhere. But we got mixed signals from them, and we decided to back off for now. Kathleen and I are so alike in that we are naturally shy people who are uncomfortable in certain social situations. Because of that, we are both far more comfortable allowing others to make the first move.

Speaking for myself, I was never sexually aggressive when it came to approaching women as a single man. And now that I've been married for so long, any skill I ever owned in terms of flirting or picking up women is long gone. It was a skill I never thought I would ever need again. Who knew?

So, this has been a real struggle for us to overcome. But so far, it has been a fun struggle. And I think we'll be much better skilled at flirting a year or two from now. I believe it's a healthy thing to step outside your comfort zone every now and then, and both of us are definitely living in that zone today.

Since we made the decision to join the lifestyle, I've made a concerted effort to become more sociable. I make it a point to remember names and call people by their names, whether it is a friend of a friend, a waitress or a person working behind a counter at a gas station. And instead of just quietly keeping to myself, I've struck up conversations with complete strangers -- something I never would have done a month ago.

Although we've only been in the lifestyle for a very short time, it has already been a very positive experience for both Kathleen and me.

Getting back to the question in the title of this post, I have registered with Swappernet, and we have received several messages from interested (and interesting) people already. The plan is to pick one of those couples and meet them for drinks some time in the next week or two. If all goes well, then our next meeting will be a memorable one. If not, then there certainly doesn't seem to be a shortage of couples looking for the same thing we are.

The bald guy

2009-11-18T13:17:00.003-05:00

Our second and final sexual encounter with another couple happened on our penultimate day at the resort. And this time, I was prepared. After our adventure with Ray and Erika, I realized two things that made me feel a lot better about the whole episode: 1) Erika just wasn’t into the idea of swapping as much as Ray, and therefore I shouldn’t have taken her lack of passion personally, and 2) Ray’s Superman-like performance could be explained by the fact that he was taking Viagra. I know the latter is true, because at some point during our session (I believe it was after I had nearly exploded in Erika’s mouth), Ray whispered in my ear to go to his bathroom and “take a bite” of the Viagra pill he had stashed on the counter.

The following day, I went out and purchased some Cialis at the resort’s “gift shop,” and quickly discovered the wonders of modern medicine. Kathleen and I simply relaxed and enjoyed each other’s company throughout that second day. Although we met a lot more great couples and had a ton of fun, we didn’t hook up with any of them. It was a day for us to simply reconnect after our thrilling adventure the prior evening. We got a lot of mileage out of reliving the events of the evening, and we were eager to do it again.

That opportunity came on our third night, when we once again made our way up to the hot tub. The crowd was a little more subdued on this night, but there was one man in particular who drew Kathleen’s attention. She has always had a thing for bald guys, for as long as I’ve known her. And since I’m reluctant to shave my full head of hair, she’s never had a chance to experience being with a bald man. When we first met “John,” I mentioned Kathleen’s preference, and his eyes immediately lit up, as he stated he has a thing for red-heads like Kathleen.

The two of them hit it off immediately, and it wasn’t long before they were all over each other in the corner of the hot tub, kissing passionately and letting their hands explore each other’s bodies. I, meanwhile, was standing right next to them at the bar, pretending not to notice (although my rock-hard erection was a dead giveaway.)

During a break in their make-out session, we asked John about his wife, and discovered that she was sleeping back in their room. He assured us that his wife was okay with what was happening, as they had an open marriage and fooled around with others all the time.

I asked John to give Kathleen and me a moment of privacy, and after a brief chat, we came to the conclusion that all three of us would head over to one of the beds surrounding the hot tub, and I would fuck Kathleen while she gave John a blowjob.

Kathleen then left to head to the restroom, and I motioned for John and explained to him what our plans were. Needless to say, he was fully on board. I was so fully aroused, I needed a moment to calm down before walking over to the beds. Just then, John’s wife joined us. “Lee” was an older woman of around 50, but she had a very nice body for a woman her age. John asked her to confirm what he had stated earlier, and Lee responded that whatever her husband wanted to do was okay with her.

We spent a few more minutes in the tub, finishing our drinks and waiting for Kathleen to return. I then turned around and found her sitting next to Lee, talking. Several more minutes passed, and the two ladies were still talking. I quickly realized that our little scenario on the bed was not going to happen.

I ordered another drink, sat next to John at the bar, and apologized for giving him false hope. He completely understood, and insisted everything would work out for us. When Kathleen and I finally got out of the hot tub to towel off, I learned that she had made dinner arrangements for the four of us.

That evening, we enjoyed a very nice meal with John, Lee and several other couples. We then went back to our room to change for the disco. That night, Kathleen wore a stunning black dress she had purchased at Frederick’s of Hollywood. It was tight and sheer enough that you could catch glimpses of her naked body as she moved. She accented this dress with stiletto-style heels, giving a whole new meaning to the term “fuck-me pumps.”

We met up with John and Lee at the bar outside of the lobby, where a crowd of people had gathered to listen to music, drink and enjoy the evening’s entertainment. But neither John nor I could concentrate on anything but Kathleen. She was simply stunning and completely irresistible that night, and as I stood behind her with my arms wrapped around her, I gently kissed her neck. When I opened my eyes, John was kissing the other side of her neck. The two of us continued to work her from both sides, softly kissing her neck, earlobes and lips, and Kathleen was absolutely melting in between. I can only imagine the show we put on for the crowd of people standing around us.

The four of us nearly ran up to the disco, where a “playroom” is located in the rear. Kathleen and I had spent the previous evening in the playroom, and fucked each other on one of the couches while two or three other couples did the same around us. It was an intensely erotic experience, but it was nothing like we would experience on this night.

Since the disco had just opened, the playroom was empty. We chose the largest of the cushions on the floor at the back of the room, and the ladies reclined in front of us. The men then went to work with our tongues, and unlike Erika, Lee was extremely responsive to what I was doing to her. She moved her hips and bucked up and down, moaning loud enough to drown out the music from the disco. After bringing her to her first orgasm, she turned to Kathleen and told her what a lucky woman she was. Instantly, my ego was fully restored after the night before.

It was now the men’s turn, so I swapped places with Lee, and she began to suck my cock, taking as much of me into her mouth as she could. While she did so, I reached over and moved Kathleen’s hair out of the way, so that I could get a better view of the job she was doing on John. I also took a look around the room and noticed that a few other couples had joined us in the playroom, which only heightened my arousal. Kathleen then took a break from John and leaned over to deepthroat me. That sent me to the edge. I asked Lee if it was okay to put on a condom (as we hadn’t even had time to discuss the “rules” beforehand), and she replied, “of course.”

I stuck with the missionary position, while watching John get into the same position with Kathleen. And after bringing Lee to what I perceived to be another orgasm (raising my ego even further), I saw Kathleen push John away from her, flip him over onto his back, slip off his condom, and go back to work on him with her mouth. I later learned that John was having trouble getting an erection, and needless to say, I was sympathetic to his plight.

As I still hadn’t finished, Lee flipped me onto my back as well, and proceeded to ride me. But it just wasn’t doing it for me, and after awhile I told her I was okay, explaining that I had cum two or three times that day already and was spent. Meanwhile, Kathleen was still working on John, so I moved into position behind her and fulfilled the fantasy we had created that afternoon, fucking her from behind while she sucked John’s cock. That image of Kathleen, who hadn’t even bothered to take off her little black dress, going down on John while I fucked her from behind, with her moaning on his cock and the rest of the room undoubtedly watching this spectacle, is something that I will never forget for as long as I live.

Eventually, Lee took over for Kathleen, giving her a well-deserved break, and Kathleen and I caressed each other on our side of the cushion until they were done. All four of us then walked out together, in all our scandalous glory.

Day One, The Conclusion

2009-11-17T15:35:00.002-05:00

I felt sorry for Erika at this point, as I knew she didn’t have the skills Kathleen had brought to this bed, and on this night, I could relate. I wanted to make sure she got something out of this evening, and since I now had no tool to use other than my hands and tongue, I went down on her and gently licked and kissed her thighs, slowly working my way toward her pussy. I used all my best moves, flicking my tongue up and down, side to side, gently at times and hard at others. After awhile, I inserted a couple of fingers and slowly massaged her from the inside as I continued to run my tongue along her clit. But I got nothing. Zero. No reaction whatsoever.

At this point, my ego was about as low as any man’s could ever get. What really irritated me is that I’ve always considered myself to be a good lover, and I knew that under the right conditions (like, say, NOT imbibing several gallons of alcohol beforehand) I felt I could have really rocked that bedroom. But here was this beautiful girl who just watched me go from limp to prematurely cumming in a matter of minutes, and who now apparently felt I had no oral skills whatsoever. She must have felt so sorry for Kathleen at that point, being married to such an unskilled lover for so many years.

While I was licking Erika’s pussy, I did open my eyes and looked up at one point to catch an exquisite view of Kathleen sucking Ray’s cock. Ray then went down on Kathleen while I continued to attempt to get Erika to move, moan or react in some way. But she continued to just lie there, and after awhile I gave up. Thankfully, Ray eventually came to Erika’s rescue and fucked her from behind for awhile, while Kathleen moved to my side of the bed.

Back in my comfort zone, I felt my dick finally come back to life as I played with Kathleen’s pussy while we both watched Ray fuck his wife slowly from behind. For a 48-year-old woman, Erika had an amazing ass, and it was quite a sight watching Ray’s massive cock slowly pump in and out of that ass.

I don’t know what came over me at that point, but I then asked Ray if he would do me a favor and cum all over Kathleen’s face. Facials have been a fetish of mine for as long as I can remember, and it was only within the past two weeks that Kathleen began to enjoy receiving facials. Amazingly, she also developed a taste for cum during this time, and I knew she’d enjoy the opportunity to taste another man’s cum.

Ray became extremely excited at the mere thought of this, and he began to drill his wife’s ass harder and harder. After a few minutes, he quickly pulled out, kneeled next to Kathleen’s face, and squirted her down with a beautiful cumshot. To my delight, Kathleen even opened her mouth a bit to taste, and when he was done, she took him into her mouth, completely draining him.

I then looked down at myself and, to my delight, discovered that I (finally!) had a raging hard-on. So I asked Erika if she could take any more dick, and she replied (rather unenthusiastically), “Sure.” She flipped over onto her knees, and (after borrowing a condom from Ray) I entered her from behind, just as her husband had done moments before.

“You have to go slow with her,” Ray advised me. And although it’s not something I’m used to (as Kathleen loves it fast and hard), I complied as best I could, and tried to fuck her as slowly and gently as possible.

Meanwhile, Ray (the fucking porn star) was strapping on a condom himself, and was positioning himself between Kathleen’s legs. The man had just cum all over her face not two minutes earlier, and yet here he was, ready to go again. If this really were a contest, it would be the Globetrotters against the Washington Generals.

Not only that, but he had some unusual moves I had never used before. He stuffed a couple of pillows under Kathleen’s ass, raising her from the bed, and held onto both feet while he drilled her hard. Kathleen’s moaning soon filled the room, and that moaning soon turned to screaming.

Meanwhile…I was getting no reaction whatsoever from Erika. I may as well have been fucking a hole in the wall. No noises, no movement. Nothing. Just a nicely-shaped ass in my hands, and my dick pounding away (probably a little too hard after watching what was happening to my left) in between.

It wasn’t long (I am once again embarrassed to admit) before seeing Kathleen in the throes of ecstasy put me over the top, and I announced to the room that I was cumming. Later, Kathleen said it was a huge turn-on to see me cumming in another woman’s pussy. And unlike Superman next to me, this meant I was done for awhile. So I got up, threw my condom in the trash, went to the bathroom and got a water out of the fridge. And all the while, Superman was still thrusting into my wife on the bed while her screams filled the room and probably entertained the people in the neighboring rooms.

That’s when the night took an unfortunate turn.

As Ray continued to pound away at Kathleen’s pussy, Erika sat on the couch with a very unamused look on her face. I asked her if everything was okay, and she replied that she was fine. Ray then stopped his pounding for a second and asked me what was going on. He then asked Erika the same question I had asked, and she responded once again that she was just fine – only this time a little louder. She then stormed out of the room and loudly slammed the door.

I looked at Kathleen and said it was time to leave. We got dressed in a hurry and scampered out of there as quickly as possible, leaving Ray to deal with the issue. Kathleen and I have many theories about what happened, but we will never know. Ray and Erika left the next day and (after running into us at breakfast in a very awkward moment) we’ll probably never see them again.

Although the evening was a complete and utter nightmare for me in terms of the humiliation I suffered, I took away so many erotic visions that are burned in my memory forever. The vision of Kathleen taking Ray deep into her throat and hearing him moan in response. The vision of two women sucking my cock (although it was a limp cock, it still felt incredible.) The vision of Ray pounding away at my wife, and (I assume) hitting spots I had never hit before, and her screams filling the room. The vision of another man cumming on my wife’s face, and watching her suck him clean afterward. The vision of my wife’s hand on another guy’s cock, casually stroking him in a hot tub filled with people, with that dirty grin on her face.

In our play-by-play afterward, Kathleen downplayed the events of the evening, telling me Ray was a sloppy lover when he went down on her, that his dick wasn’t as long as mine, and that she was faking the screaming in order to get him off of her. I love her for trying to salvage my ego, but I can tell she thoroughly enjoyed herself that evening. And even though I got little out of it myself from a physical standpoint, I thoroughly enjoyed watching her enjoy herself, and that alone was worth the price I paid in humiliation.

And there you have it: our first-ever experience in the lifestyle. In the end, I suppose it should be classified as a success, given that we have gotten so much mileage out of our experiences that night. It wasn’t an ideal experience, but considering it was our first, that is to be forgiven.

Day One, Part Two

2009-11-16T15:52:00.002-05:00

After spending a good deal of time soaking in the hot tub together, the four of us agreed to move the party to Ray and Erika’s room. And it was at that point that I began to really freak out. Prior to our departure, I obsessed over the possibility that I might experience performance anxiety when the time finally came to be with another couple. Although I have never had a big problem in that area before, I have had occasional issues when I’ve had too much to drink. And the older I’ve become, the more that problem has multiplied.
I could imagine no bigger humiliation than to be involved in a wife-swapping situation where I can’t get it up. I imagined the disappointment on the other wife’s face, while her husband happily drilled my wife with a rock-hard cock. I know that this is a very unhealthy view, but let’s be honest: once you enter that room with another couple, it becomes a contest between the two guys to see who the bigger stud is. And being a very proud and competitive person, I did not want to be the loser of that contest.

That thought dominated my every waking moment in the weeks leading up to our vacation. I obsessed about it to the point where it was becoming an inevitable self-fulfilling prophecy. My plan was to stop at the airport pharmacy in Mexico on the way to the resort, where I could purchase some Viagra or Cialis. I had never taken any such medication before, but I thought it would give me the peace of mind I sought. But when I stood at that counter, I just couldn’t bring myself to fork over the $130 for just eight pills. I convinced myself that it would not be a problem. But now I was kicking myself for not pulling the trigger on that purchase when I had the chance.

I pulled Kathleen aside and told her that this was all moving too quickly. I argued that we had agreed not to move so quickly on our first night, and now, because I had had way too much to drink, I could barely stand, never mind fuck.

But Kathleen assured me that I would be fine. She’s been with me long enough to know that I will eventually rise to the occasion under any circumstance. She told me she would head to the room first and talk with Erika for awhile, while I sobered up in the hot tub. As they left, I talked at length with Ray, who also assured me that everything would be okay.

While Ray and I chatted, the hot tub continued to be a massive party of wild, naked people groping, kissing and fondling each other both above and below the water. At some point, as Ray and I stood at the bar with a bar stool between us, two women appeared out of nowhere and shared that stool as they ordered a drink. They began talking to us, and as they did so, the one closest to me reached down and began to play with my cock. Being a reciprocating kind of guy, I then reached down and grabbed her ass. The next thing I knew, she was bending down and blowing me underwater. It only lasted for maybe 10-15 seconds. Both girls then left after getting their drinks. I still don’t know what their names were, and I barely remember what they looked like. The most amazing part of that episode was that when I told Kathleen about it afterward, she was so incredibly turned on, she said it was the best memory she had of our trip – and she wasn’t even there to see it!

I was afraid that if we waited too long to join the girls, someone out of the four of us would have second thoughts about the whole idea and back out altogether. So, despite the fact that I still didn’t feel ready for what was about to happen, I took off with Ray toward their room.

We walked into the room hoping to find Kathleen and Erika making out on the bed. But Erika had told me she wasn’t into women, so we knew that was an unrealistic expectation. Instead, the two women were chatting in their own private hot tub. Kathleen later told me that she was telling Erika about my problem. So now everyone in the room knew that I was having problems with my limp noodle – and I hadn’t even had any problems yet! Already, this was turning into an embarrassing situation.

We sat in the tub for awhile, as my head continued to spin from both the massive amount of alcohol I’d just consumed and the intense anxiety I was feeling about the entire situation. After awhile, I suggested that Kathleen and I go to their bed, as I knew that a little alone time with Kathleen would calm my nerves and get the blood flowing to all the right places. But both of the girls were convinced that if they fulfilled my lifelong fantasy of having two women suck my cock at the same time, I’d get rock-hard in no time.

Who was I to argue?

So, all four of us moved to the bed, and Kathleen and Erika got right to work. Kathleen took care of my shaft, expertly employing her new deepthroat technique, while Erika licked my balls. It was probably the most pleasurable, most erotic thing I have ever felt, and it was the realization of a lifelong fantasy.
And yet…my dick just didn’t respond. My worst nightmare was becoming a reality, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Making matters worse, both women seemed a little hurt that their best efforts were going to waste, and they just couldn’t understand why. After what seemed like only a minute or so (but was probably much longer), I asked them to stop and give me a minute. I suggested the two of them go down on Ray instead, and they happily complied, as Ray was sporting a major league, porn-stud-style hard-on. Making me look like a complete chump. Just as I had feared in my very worst nightmare. It couldn’t possibly get any more embarrassing for me.

And yet…it did.

What happened next was such a surprising embarrassment that I hadn’t even considered it in my worst-case nightmarish scenario. After watching my wife go down on another man along with his wife (a vision that was both oddly arousing and humiliating at the same time), I lay back down on the bed and tried to get myself going. Kathleen must have noticed this, because she stopped what she was doing and started to suck me. Finally…slowly, but surely, my dick began to come back to life. I could feel myself growing as she slowly took me into her mouth and worked her tongue all along my shaft. I still wasn’t fully aroused, but at least I was making progress.

Then…Kathleen handed my cock to Erika, who began to suck me. And the vision of my wife handing my cock to another woman brought me over the edge. Out of completely nowhere, I could feel the cum working its way quickly up my shaft. I asked Erika to stop, and she did immediately.

But it was too late. I started to cum. Not completely, but enough to ensure that my dick would go limp for the next several minutes. This was a level of humiliation that I hadn’t ever anticipated. The only thing worse than having a limp noodle is prematurely ejaculating. You’d have to be one inept and awful lover to go from one extreme to the other like that. This is something you’d expect from a 16-year-old boy, but not from a man about to celebrate his 40th birthday.

I could see the frustration on Erika’s face, but I couldn’t see the expression on Kathleen’s face, because it was buried in Ray’s pelvic bone. She took every inch of his cock, and his loud groaning told me that he was enjoying it quite a bit.

I may be the worst lover in the world, I thought to myself at this point, but at least my wife is a fucking superstar! I was oddly proud to have such a beautiful and talented wife, capable of giving such intense pleasure to another man. I hardly knew this guy, yet I had given him the greatest gift I could ever give any man.

To be continued...

Day One, Part One

2009-11-15T22:56:00.002-05:00

Three weeks ago, a vacation to a clothing-optional resort was about as remote as possibilities can get. And yet, there we were last Tuesday, on the first day of our four-day vacation. Although we had numerous lengthy discussions prior to departing for this trip, and although we had come to a happy consensus on the direction we were planning to head, I felt an almost unbearable amount of anxiety as we drove into the resort.

I had spent the previous night staring at the ceiling, thinking of all the erotic possibilities that awaited us. And although I hadn’t gotten one minute of sleep, I felt more awake and alive than I’d ever felt before. And now, as we sat at the front desk speaking to a representative of the resort upon our check-in, a couple strolled by the front door, completely naked. They both were well-built, and clearly filled with casual confidence. And I immediately began to wonder: what had we gotten ourselves into?

We were led to our room, where we changed into our swimsuits – swimsuits we knew we’d be shedding shortly. We had some lunch, and then headed to the pool. All around us, couples strolled around as carefree and naked as could be. They weren’t all as well-built as they first couple I spied, and I began to feel a little less intimidated stripping down to nothing in front of these people. We found a couple of chairs and with one last deep breath, off came our clothes.

The experience was a bit surreal, and nothing like I had imagined it would be. I expected to feel self-conscious and uncomfortable, but after awhile those feelings faded away and I simply enjoyed the carefree and relaxing feeling of the sun shining on parts of my body where it had never shined before.

After a few drinks, we headed up to the rooftop Jacuzzi, which – according to the research we did prior to the trip – was where all the action takes place. There were about a dozen people in this giant 50-person tub when we arrived, and after stripping down once again, we jumped right in and ordered a few more drinks. Our bartender could not have been more attentive. Every time our drinks got down to a quarter full, we found two more drinks waiting for us on the bar. And although I had planned to regulate my drinking that afternoon, after awhile, I lost count of how many I’d had.

Meanwhile, the hot tub continued to fill with more and more new faces (and new bodies), and Kathleen and I talked to almost every one of them. They were all so incredibly friendly and outgoing, and the conversation flowed so easily, it was as if we’d all known each other forever. At some point in the evening, Kathleen connected with a couple. The husband (we’ll call him “Ray”) was a tall, well-built guy in his late-40’s who seemed like a good guy. His wife (we’ll call her “Erika”) was a very attractive woman, also in her late-40’s and also well-built.

At some point, Kathleen took Erika aside and told her the story of how she’d given me this trip as a 40th birthday present, and that it was my fantasy to have two women at once. Erika later mentioned this to me, and told me this fantasy could soon become a reality. There was a lot of touching, kissing and fondling going on in the hot tub that night, and the details are a bit of a blur, as all the drinks have fogged my memory. But I distinctly remember turning around at one point to grab my drink at the bar, and seeing Kathleen stroking Ray’s cock under the water with a big grin on her face.

Here it was, then: the moment of truth. For weeks, Kathleen and I had wondered how we would feel seeing each other with another person. We had convinced ourselves that there would be no jealousy, as we completely trust and love each other. And we told ourselves that any contact with another person on this vacation would be completely and solely about fun and sexuality, and that our hearts would remain pure and loyal. But there was no way to predict how we’d actually feel once push came to shove. My wife – the love of my life – was now stroking another man’s cock. How did I feel about that?

I passed our first test with flying colors. I can’t quite explain why, but seeing Kathleen in that situation was an exhilarating turn-on.

Earlier in the day, Kathleen and I had agreed that we would not seek a sexual connection with another couple on our first day at the resort. We wanted to spend the day simply getting a feel for the place, and enjoying the sun and some drinks without all the anxiety of playing with another couple for the first time in our lives. But at this point, as Kathleen and Ray fondled each other, and Erika sidled up next to me to allow me to feel her up as well, it became evident that our earlier plans were about to be scrapped.

To be continued...

Departure Day is upon us

2009-11-08T20:52:00.000-05:00

After what seems like months (although it's only been weeks), Kathleen and I are due to leave tomorrow night for our long-awaited vacation at the clothing-optional couples resort. Unfortunately, the weather report does not look good, as it is supposed to rain every day we are there. But I'm trying to remain optimistic, and hope the sun peaks through the clouds on occasion, long enough for us to enjoy the warm sunshine on our naked bodies.

Regardless of the weather, we are about to embark on a journey together that we will remember forever, and that alone is cause for intense excitement. I plan to take plenty of notes, and will post a new entry on this blog detailing our activities each day we are there. Maybe I'll even convince Kathleen to write an entry or two herself, giving her thoughts from her perspective.

My wife

2009-11-05T00:21:00.002-05:00

At nearly 40 years old, I thought I knew everything there was to know about love. If not “love,” exactly, then I thought I knew everything there was to know about “infatuation.” I thought a person could only feel infatuation with another person once in his or her life. Lately, however, I have had no choice but to question everything I know about infatuation, because I think I am falling in love with my wife all over again.

Kathleen and I met and fell in love at a very young age. She was 22, and I was just 21. Prior to meeting Kathleen, I had generally dated women who were less attractive and less intelligent than me. Because I had such low self-esteem, I just felt that I didn’t deserve someone “better” than me, and I felt intimidated by beautiful, intelligent women like Kathleen. But for whatever reason, I had decided to “go for it” the night I met her. On that particular night, I just didn’t care that she was out of my league. I had been rejected before, and decided she was worth adding another rejection to the list.

But to my surprise, Kathleen gave me her phone number at the end of the night. And, even more amazing, I discovered she had actually given me her real phone number when I dialed it the next day. The fire, the passion and the intensity I felt during the first few months of our relationship was like none other I had ever experienced. And there was no doubt in my mind that we were meant to spend the rest of our lives together. I was so certain of this, I proposed to her less than a year after we met.

Fast-forward. Nearly two decades later, Kathleen and I have had a very loving relationship. We’ve raised a family that we are both very proud of. We have a beautiful house in a great neighborhood, and two rewarding careers. We have accomplished everything we’ve ever wanted to accomplish as partners and parents. But the fire and intense passion we felt toward each other had diminished somewhat – as is natural and expected in any long-term relationship. Our love for each other was still very strong, but it was a different, more mature, more subdued, kind of love.

Fast-forward to today. I cannot stop thinking about my wife. I can’t stop thinking about what an extraordinary woman she is in every way. She is in my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night. Whenever we are together, I cannot keep my hands off her. Whenever she’s near, I can’t help myself from kissing her and touching her and caressing her, and doing whatever I can to make her life easier throughout the day. I can’t keep my eyes off her when she moves from room to room. She has never been sexier to me than she is today. For the second time in my life, I am completely and utterly infatuated with her.
How ironic is it that the thing that has brought us so close together as a couple, and has rekindled our passion for each other so intensely, is the notion that we should have sex with other people?

Our first encounter with real swingers

2009-11-01T23:47:00.000-05:00

Tonight, we met an old friend of Kathleen's for drinks. Kathleen discovered years ago that this friend was a swinger, and at the time it seemed so scandalous to us. But a lot has changed in the past couple of weeks. Back when we were still debating how “crazy” we were willing to get on our vacation, Kathleen told me she had reached out to her friend to get his take on the resort. I was a little shocked she had taken such a bold step, but when Kathleen gets an idea in her head, she goes all out. It’s one of the many, many things I love about her.

Kathleen’s friend (we’ll call him “Mark”) was surprised to hear from Kathleen as well, and was even more surprised to learn we had booked a vacation at a resort that caters to swingers. Mark introduced Kathleen to his wife (we’ll call her “Jenna”), and the two began chatting by e-mail and Facebook.

Several e-mails and messages were exchanged – one that included several pictures of Jenna in various outfits she had worn on her vacation to the same resort, and one where Jenna was completely nude – and we made a “date” to talk about the lifestyle over some drinks.

Both Kathleen and I have been looking forward to tonight for quite awhile, as we have been dying to talk about this exciting new development in our lives with someone who has been through it all before. One of the downsides to the lifestyle is that you have to keep it a secret from all your friends and family. And it’s such a delicious secret that you want to share it with everyone!

We had never been to this particular bar before, and when we walked in, I was a little surprised to see how small it was. I was picturing a little bigger venue, where we could hide in a darkened corner and talk in hushed whispers. Instead, we greeted Mark and Jenna at the bar, and they led us to a table right in the middle of the room, within easy listening distance to the people sitting at the bar. I must have had a concerned look on my face, because Mark then reassured me that it was okay – the people at the bar were also in the lifestyle.

We sat around a small table and dove right into the discussion. Mark and Jenna shared a few stories of their experiences, and we had a lot of laughs. It was a nice, relaxing, fun conversation, and the time really seemed to fly. They answered all of our questions in surprisingly candid fashion, and seemed to have no issue whatsoever discussing the most intimate details of their sex life. I get the feeling that once you are in the lifestyle, you lose a lot of the social inhibitions and taboos you’ve carried around your whole life.

Mark and Jenna are a lot like us in many ways, and they seem to be as happy and secure in their marriage as we are in ours. They are an attractive couple, and the fact that we got along so well with them naturally caused me to wonder whether Kathleen and I would ever find ourselves swinging with them at some point. I’m sure the same thought crossed their minds as well. As we sat at that table, I tried to imagine Mark with Kathleen, me with Jenna, and Jenna with Kathleen. It all seems so surreal to me that this may actually become a reality at some point in the near future. And yet, if we continue on the course we’ve set, that is exactly where we are heading. It is exciting, thrilling, scary, nerve-wracking and arousing all at once.

As I said to Mark and Jenna at one point tonight, Kathleen and I had reached a point in our lives where we had accomplished everything we had ever wanted to accomplish. We have three great kids, a nice home in a nice neighborhood, successful careers, etc.. And from my standpoint, I found myself about to turn 40 years old and wondering, “now what?” I was looking ahead at the next 10-15 years, simply riding out the string, growing older, and looking forward to the retirement.

But today, it seems as though a whole new world has opened up, and the possibilities are endless. Life is full of surprises.