Our first encounter with real swingers

Tonight, we met an old friend of Kathleen's for drinks. Kathleen discovered years ago that this friend was a swinger, and at the time it seemed so scandalous to us. But a lot has changed in the past couple of weeks. Back when we were still debating how “crazy” we were willing to get on our vacation, Kathleen told me she had reached out to her friend to get his take on the resort. I was a little shocked she had taken such a bold step, but when Kathleen gets an idea in her head, she goes all out. It’s one of the many, many things I love about her.

Kathleen’s friend (we’ll call him “Mark”) was surprised to hear from Kathleen as well, and was even more surprised to learn we had booked a vacation at a resort that caters to swingers. Mark introduced Kathleen to his wife (we’ll call her “Jenna”), and the two began chatting by e-mail and Facebook.

Several e-mails and messages were exchanged – one that included several pictures of Jenna in various outfits she had worn on her vacation to the same resort, and one where Jenna was completely nude – and we made a “date” to talk about the lifestyle over some drinks.

Both Kathleen and I have been looking forward to tonight for quite awhile, as we have been dying to talk about this exciting new development in our lives with someone who has been through it all before. One of the downsides to the lifestyle is that you have to keep it a secret from all your friends and family. And it’s such a delicious secret that you want to share it with everyone!

We had never been to this particular bar before, and when we walked in, I was a little surprised to see how small it was. I was picturing a little bigger venue, where we could hide in a darkened corner and talk in hushed whispers. Instead, we greeted Mark and Jenna at the bar, and they led us to a table right in the middle of the room, within easy listening distance to the people sitting at the bar. I must have had a concerned look on my face, because Mark then reassured me that it was okay – the people at the bar were also in the lifestyle.

We sat around a small table and dove right into the discussion. Mark and Jenna shared a few stories of their experiences, and we had a lot of laughs. It was a nice, relaxing, fun conversation, and the time really seemed to fly. They answered all of our questions in surprisingly candid fashion, and seemed to have no issue whatsoever discussing the most intimate details of their sex life. I get the feeling that once you are in the lifestyle, you lose a lot of the social inhibitions and taboos you’ve carried around your whole life.

Mark and Jenna are a lot like us in many ways, and they seem to be as happy and secure in their marriage as we are in ours. They are an attractive couple, and the fact that we got along so well with them naturally caused me to wonder whether Kathleen and I would ever find ourselves swinging with them at some point. I’m sure the same thought crossed their minds as well. As we sat at that table, I tried to imagine Mark with Kathleen, me with Jenna, and Jenna with Kathleen. It all seems so surreal to me that this may actually become a reality at some point in the near future. And yet, if we continue on the course we’ve set, that is exactly where we are heading. It is exciting, thrilling, scary, nerve-wracking and arousing all at once.

As I said to Mark and Jenna at one point tonight, Kathleen and I had reached a point in our lives where we had accomplished everything we had ever wanted to accomplish. We have three great kids, a nice home in a nice neighborhood, successful careers, etc.. And from my standpoint, I found myself about to turn 40 years old and wondering, “now what?” I was looking ahead at the next 10-15 years, simply riding out the string, growing older, and looking forward to the retirement.

But today, it seems as though a whole new world has opened up, and the possibilities are endless. Life is full of surprises.